Suchada

A story of the demise of Suchada

On the 19th of November 2021 is where I felt like I have lost it all.

My girlfriend was sick for many months, could not eat could not have any power to move, I was taking care of her for all of those many months and taking her to see different doctors every now and then.

We used to live together but she never allowed me to sleep with her in the same room because she was worried that whatever she has was infectious so she always told me to go back home with my family and sleep, most of the time I refuse and sleep on the couch in the living room or sometimes I just sleep in the same room not caring about anything. 

One night she called me over and asked me to give her some water and I did, I was feeding her the water and then cleaned her up since she can't move and go to the bathroom, I went to wash my hand, and then as I got out of the bathroom she was staring at me with a big smile and asked me to come closer, and I did and she said no closer, and she tried to force some strength out of her to come closer to my face and she kissed me and smiled and closed her eyes.

I went back to the living room and she called me over to the room and said to me, please go home, I want you to have a good sleep and when you wake up you can come back to me again, I hesitate to leave but if that's what she had wished for then fine.

I reached my home and I Have just parked my car and I noticed a text message from here with broken words saying "cimto me nw' I kind of understood that it was saying "come to me now" I thought maybe something was wrong and she couldn't even type correctly, so I drove back in speed and when I reached her apartment and went to see her in her room she was just laying there and I asked her what's wrong and she pointed at her chest, so I called the ambulance and they got here and checked everything and told me that her oxygen level is down and her blood pressure us down we have to take her to the hospital, they were rushing her to the hospital and I was driving like crazy and so worried behind them and we all reached the hospital and they took her to the ER and she was just there, I stayed for many hours and then they decided to take her to a private room and told me to go home and wait for their call.

4 am, the hospital calls me and the doctor was explaining to me what was happening, whenever they tried to raise her oxygen level her blood pressure was going down and whenever they tried to raise her blood pressure, her oxygen level goes down, it was a real mess, but they told me that they will do the best they can to help her.

Woke up in the morning around 7 am, changed my clothes, and went to the hospital to see her, she was unconscious, and they wouldn't allow me to stay for a very long time with her in the room, I checked on her and I left, in the evening I went to visit her again, but this time they added so many machines wit help her breathing and they put some tape over her eyes so she wouldn't open them to dry out, her sight was shattering my heart, the doctor who was with her in the room told me that they were trying to stabilize her condition and she was unconscious and unresponsive and as I was talking to the doctor I noticed they she was moving and she was trying to talk me as if she could hear my voice and was calling out to me. but unfortunately, they had to make me leave the room and told me that they will call me if there are any more developments.

I was driving back home and a friend called me to drop him to the airport and I decided to do it to take my mind off of all of this, and as we were going to the airport the hospital called me and told me to hurry back because she was in a critical condition, I was rushing like a crazy person on the road trying to reach the hospital as soon as possible, and when I got to her room the door was locked and the nurse has opened the door and I saw so many nurses and doctors inside panicking and running around and the nurse didn't allow me to go in and told me to wait outside, I was outside in the hallway scared and worried, 40 to 50 minutes later the doctor comes out with a long face and tells me, we tried everything we can but..... I said but what? she has passed away? the doctor said yes I'm so sorry for your loss... I collapsed in the hallway and the nurse saw me and asked me if I wanted to come inside and see her, I was afraid I didn't want to see her like this but she deserves a final farewell from me, I went in and saw her lifeless corpse on the hospital bed, I broke down in tears and held her hands and kissed her head and I told her that I'm sorry... out of frustration I punched the hospital bed and walked to my car as fast as I can with tears rushing out of my eyes.

She have asked me before she died to have her cremated so I honored her wishes and asked the hospital to help me with it, so a few days later the hospital called me and told me to come to the hospital to identify the body to move her to the crematorium to cremate her body when I got there and saw her like this, I broke down and kissed her forehead and then I have followed the ambulance and we have reached the crematorium, and as they were putting her down near the cremation site ready to set the fire, I went for one last time and I kissed her.

I stayed until the end, until the fire went down and there was nothing but ashes and a few bones, what is sad is that I was the only one there, it was just me staring into those flames, I had to call video call her family so they can be with me in the cremation.

When the fire went out I felt like, this was it, her journey had finally come to an end, our journey has finally come to an end.

I had big plans for us, I was going to propose to you but I guess it won't happen now.. and what pains me is that you have passed away one month exactly before your birthday.

I will forever have you in my heart because you were a big part of my life, thank you for everything my love, and I will hope to see you again in the afterlife my love.

Author's Note

this is a true story that happened to me recently, been away for a long time trying to help my girlfriend overcome her sickness but I guess I have failed...

Reviews

[Najam Us Saher]

No words...may god give you strength and reunite you both