Time To Take a Breath

Time To Take a Breath

A Poem by Joey Nizz

If only, if you only knew the reason
For the unexpected immediate change in season
For the predicament and inconvenience that was caused
And the very life you have made on pause

Slowing and hesitating this life in such a manner
Made it difficult to detect and recognize a brand new day
Burning this day in my skull
Made it difficult to reach even for a pull

Almost losing all of my grasps
Not much to latch on to nothing to grab tightly
And in the end, the message is bright and clear 
With plenty to lose but nothing to fear

Even though sometimes with nothing to see
Powerful diligence and perseverance will incite you free. 

© 2018 Joey Nizz


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Reviews

Everyone faces the fear of letting go and losing, this poem inspires them all.

Posted 6 Years Ago


Joey Nizz

6 Years Ago

Thank you for seeing that :)
Thank you for your review also ^^
Najam Us Saher

6 Years Ago

You're welcome :)
You will truly lose your grasp on life if you go too fast. Sometimes we need to slow down and look around. If you really appreciate it, then your gratitude and hard work will set you free. Nicely spoken.

Posted 6 Years Ago


Joey Nizz

6 Years Ago

Exactly, gotta take things slow and easy.

Thank you for your review :)
AMAZING! Bravo. Keep it up. Your writing is so great. :) :) :)

Posted 6 Years Ago


Joey Nizz

6 Years Ago

Thank you for thinking that way, I appreciate it ^^
Your words are abstract, not drawing a word picture of what this is about. You offer ideas & hints, but it’s not clear how your message relates to me or my life. You do a good job of conveying a sense of excitement and/or stillness. I like a poet using complex words here & there, but the way you do it, I’m not getting your meaning: predicament, inconvenience, difficult, recognize, diligence, perseverance. Words like these make a poem feel cerebral, with something to think about, but I’m not sure what that is. For future writing, I recommend trying some sensory descriptions in your poetry. I think poetry captures people more by FEELING than by THINKING. Try using all the senses to throw your reader right into a situation – how does it feel? How does it sound? How does it taste? Such descriptions can often lighten up a poem where you are offering cerebral principles to think about.

Here’s an example . . . taking your final couplet: “Powerful diligence and perseverance will incite you free” . . . I’ll give you one of many possibilities to change that line so it can be more sensory: “With trickles of sweat washing my brow and a deep growl of passion in my belly, I leap toward the sparkling star of free expression.” Hopefully you will not mind that I’m being a little heavy-handed in my review. Maybe I need another cup of coffee! *smile* Fondly, Margie


Posted 6 Years Ago


Joey Nizz

6 Years Ago

Thank you very much and I appreciate the review and the advice's you have given me, Ill keep them in.. read more
Wow wow wow- wonderful - changing of seasons- all within a reason- we accept we grow the heart knows- yes nothing to grasp except the task set out in front- at least you can see what actually sets one free- I know you understand me- just amazing your wisdom and depth- love it🌹

Posted 6 Years Ago


Joey Nizz

6 Years Ago

Im really glad you liked and understood this poem, thank you for your review ^^
‘Thoughts In Time’🌹

6 Years Ago

My pleasure- yes an amazing poem🌹
Very good..and strong words are within..loved it

Posted 6 Years Ago


Joey Nizz

6 Years Ago

Thanks man your reviews are highly appreciated ^^
Powerful write Joey boy :)
Told you ..you start your motivational class... :))

Posted 6 Years Ago


Joey Nizz

6 Years Ago

60/40 ? :p
Ardra

6 Years Ago

60 for my idea;) 40 for ur effort lol
Joey Nizz

6 Years Ago

haha fair enough ;p

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275 Views
8 Reviews
Rating
Added on May 9, 2018
Last Updated on May 9, 2018
Tags: reasons, changes, seasons, predicament, inconvenience, difficult, breath, breathe

Author

Joey Nizz
Joey Nizz

Manama, Reef Island, Bahrain



About
Whatever the mind and heart creates, I put it down with my pen on a paper, whatever inspires me and whatever inspires others, I got to share the inspiration and the knowledge and the hardship that I a.. more..

Writing