Se7en

Cold steel against my temple,

My finger on the trigger.

Who out here has love for me?

I wish it was that simple.

 

I used to be so happy,

My malcontent had no root.

Who out here has love for me?

Goddamn this poem’s sappy.

 

My ceiling appeared endless,

My potential was so great.

Who out here has love for me?

My fall appeared so dreamless.

 

Dreams come true, they should for you,

But I don’t let mine outside.

Keep them in the nasty din

For fear that they might come true.

 

My thoughts continue jeering,

Rearing their pitiless heads.

Who out here has love for me?

I’ve found that the answer’s you.

Reviews

[barleygirl]

Definitely a uniquely stated message. It's a weird blend of "up" and "down" . . . "black" and "white" . . . but the best part is the way your sarcasm comes across in a few places. Perfectly showing how some who scorn love & other niceties are often hiding their cravings for it. I'm not crazy about the number of times this line is repeated: "Who out here has love for me?" . . . maybe a little bit of a twist to that idea to give added interest to each different repetition. Just a thought.

[J.M. Wise]

Thanks! I thought about it, but I figured a repeated line could possibly add some weight and also point out the repetitive nature of my thoughts. I tried a little wordplay too with 'din' instead of 'den'