This is really good! Very well constructed, well thought out, well polished, and beautifully expressed. The poem is measured, it's not unduly emotional or hysterical and has a detached feel overall, which gives it sadness, but this contrasts with the really strong word choices... "fighting", "flesh and blood", "force", "bloodlust"... and so forth. Just as a former battlefield always feels sad, quiet, with a somber atmosphere, and yet, also has a sense of the echoes of violence and death still etched into the land - your poem captures both these conflicting feelings or impressions very effectively.
This poem is darkly cynical, and doubtless, accurate - there is no fear here to address the grim truth of the human situation. That last line is really powerful and effective in it's conciseness...and again, that sense of detachment, of resignation, which gives the poem the overwhelming sadness. This poem is a simple and direct statement of truth, elegantly written, touching, and melancholy.
Absolutely excellent writing.
You did a superb job on this challenge..... I am still pondering what I would write about...... trenches of course but it can be a metaphor obviously.... I love what you did with the words given. great!!!!
You have packed so much into this poem--so many layers of feeling and meaning--death, salvation, nature, sorrow and rebirth--and the continuation of war and violence. Thank you--
This is a heavy piece written in advance of the 90th year since the War to End All War was commenced. This reminds me of the combat seen along the Maginot.
My wife often speaks of when she visited Europe. On part of that tour she was on was a stop at Dachau. She said EVERYONE in her group was gripped by the deafening silence that seems to permeate every crack of that horrific place. But, she said the hard part on that day was not the ovens, but the huge trenches where a mass grave sits just outside of the compound. She said NO ONE could keep their composure in that place. This poem seems to remind me of that story she tells. I think the lesson we ALL should take from that place/time/your poem, is that the depravity in man runs very deep and it must be forgiven by a loving, gracefilled savior who paid the ultimate price to save us all from our selves. So, stand up, don't bury your head in the sand and speak out against tyranny in all forms, when ever you can and where ever you see. An unbelievably, totally filled to the brim with skill and profoundly moving poem that should remind us all to watch, pray and protect the defenseless. I rated this piece very, very high
yes time and war will bring back what is unused...the imagery is superb, I felt like I was standing looking at the trenches while I read, this is a great one.
I'm a former English & Literature teacher who has always enjoyed the magic, power and simple romance of words well written.
My favourite writers include Pablo Neruda, Liam O'Flaherty, Anthony Eaton.. more..