My dear Loki

Are you my talisman, dear Loki, or

just a chimera that dominates my ether?

No nirvana for me, no celestial deity to divine

my path to righteousness.  To the extent that

I propagate and disseminate that which is dissembling,

puerile and pedantic antics bring the cosmos

only momentary levity.

A trifling amongst the solar giants,

your sublime japes sublimate

light and laughter, as I lament

the shenanigans that befall me and leave me

bereft of any beatific bliss. You sprinkle

mischief around you as you toy with

this monument to pathos.

 

 So! Behold the remains of your pranks

and hoaxes. I love to be with you yet

long to leave you.  I would cut the puppet

strings were there only strength to

redact my allegiance to you. Whenever I see

your face, it is not your face looking

back at me - it is mine.

Reviews

[Teri B]

My word! The double-edged quality of this piece is wonderful. I see the mischief and hear the muted anger, perhaps, or at the very least, frustration. How to respond to the pain, the confusion, the questions the speaker has about his situation...that is the thing to grapple with here. What he wishes he knew or even understood about his circumstances...what he wishes he DIDN'T know and understand.

I like it...can you tell? :)

[Leslie Philibert]

What is very apparent is a fine command of language and the clever role reversal (I think) in the last verse and also the ambivalent feelings you express to your theme. Lots of verbal fireworks in a very accomplished poem

Lol @ Nishant Gupa's awesome review..

But anyways, critiquing YOUR work? I'll try my best :/ here it goes
First off, awesome reference. Big fantasy fan here, and using Norse references in your works? Oh yes, brownie points for you good sir :p
From the first stanza I infer this is a subject of a man refusing one god's enlightenment in order to obtain himself through his own experiences.
Reminds me of one of my favorite quotes from McCarthy:
"If the road you followed brought you to hell, of what was the road?"
Good morals supported and meant throughout you work. Really enjoyable and meaningful at the same time.
Constructive response: I'd look into the Last stanza, line 4 for possible error. Should it read?: "strings where their only strength is to" or like it is? I ask because last time my response was wrong on account of cultural differences :p no telling what when it comes to proofreading ya work.
Overall: I give a rating of 95
Thank you for such excellent work ^_^

[Shep]

How true on last stanza :about wearing a mask borrowed. I think we all wear a mask to hide ourselves from the real world. This poem made me think man I need a webster bad lol. Sorry been away from school along time. Nicely done.

[An owl on the moon]

There is a vastness in your words, transporting us over the music of space.. into the reaches of myth and magic. What an introspective glimmer into time.

[stars are far]

this was great
i loved the last stanza :)

[...]

. the sublime flavour of classical english with a contemporary touch and an absolutely well-expressed icy tone ... make this a memorable piece of writing ... the last stanza is particularly lethal ... this was a fantastic read, jeremy ... despite the sadness of the context ... it was empowering to read these words ...

[Helen Crutchett]

Oh, very good indeed. I loved this well thought out piece. Well done!

[Lily Mae]

"I love to be with you yet
long to leave you."

I really enjoyed this line..and the write as a whole.. I mentioned to Poetic Beauty that if your Loki and my badass Pixie got together we'd cause some grief:) xx excellent write...x

[Nishant Gupta]

good one see mine too "QUEST OF LIFE".

[a donkey, briefly]

your style is more classical than mine
but I see a few elements of wordplay that I've used in many of my poems
it's intellectual yet playful and well executed
good stuff