Holy Ghosts & Ghouls

Lachrymal fluid seals my face, a mask

shrouding my soul more wholly

than any holy ghost or ghoul. No more

may I intercede for my salvation, no more

shall I seek the Answer from within.

There is no god there. Closer inspection reveals

only obscurity; shadows darker than hate.

Bleak bastardry, poor substitute for incarnate

subsistence on the living word. My words flail

and pulsate with impotence. Silhouettes of soundless

spectres shine onward and upward into the exalted

emptiness of my spirit. Life long since departed,

shell-like skin a shield against barbarian conduct,

no cognisance accessible for fellow itinerants

orbiting in limbo. Whereto must I submit?

Capitulation cannot stay the seepage of my ducts;

my hindsight remains blurred, complementing

my capacity to cry tears of confusion, commensurate

to the dimensions of my death mask.

Reviews

[SilentVerses]

Beautiful words seep through your ink work, an artist playing and dappling in the colours that line emotions, your experiments create an imagery that is strengthened through broken powerful rhythm. Alliteration creates a vivid dance of intellect whilst a raw brutality sends forth a sharpened melody of classical flow. To a beating of drums despair flows a masterpiece.

[deeps]

This is deep like the imagery in this.
Very well written.

[Kenneth The Poet]

I feel the despair in this, like the kind one has before the finalize their existence by choice.

[Meghan]

I love it! You always use such beautiful wording. Good work!

[Droll Prole]

so full of anger and despair I feel the pain through your words.
Whereto must I submit?
Capitulation cannot stay the seepage of my ducts;
my hindsight remains blurred, complementing
my capacity to cry tears of confusion, commensurate
to the dimensions of my death mask.

[KATHY SUE SILLS]

Excellent uses of words and emotions, There is always hope and light for all needs!

[Lane-roe]

I love how you weave the poem together to make one beautiful piece of work. It flows so nicely and naturally. I really like the whole piece, but the last few lines are especially poignant. Thankyou for sharing :)

[ivizarx]

good word usage mate. the whole poem artfully and skillfully flows throughout perfectly. Structure, form, and all, it's pretty awesome work to be true. You say you're a former English & Literature teacher, I f***in believe it lol, no doubt.
I dare to criticize this piece, mainly cuz you can outright tell me idk wtf I'm talking about and you would have every reason to and I'll believe you lol. But as for my constructive criticism (cuz I dare not leave this poem with an empty-approving review): the only thought I think to take into consideration is the poem goes for far more elegant descriptive wording and beautiful writing I find, rather than subjective meaning. I feel that the meaning was a bit muddled by your awesomeness (ability to describe metaphors, place them, and use and add beautiful imagery) lol if that makes any sense. That's only perspective though, so it's a bit of advice that can be taken with a grain of salt. Which I guess the meaning or theme is a past experience? or perhaps a person in deep despair hoping for something better to come looking to things such as religion for help only to be disappointed?...
Like SV said, your poetry is very vivid and powerful. I'm very well intrigued enough to see more of your work.

[Kiari Sabon]

i love it keep up the great work

[Ashli The Amazing]

awesome! you used a great choice of words it was really creative. job well done i really enjoyed it

[Victoria PoetryBunny]

enjoyed this line:
"Silhouettes of soundless
spectres shine onward and upward into the exalted
emptiness of my spirit."
and also this last part:
"my hindsight remains blurred, complementing
my capacity to cry tears of confusion, commensurate
to be my death mask."
this was intense and strong, enjoyed the title as well, it caught my eye