To Be Free (Open Up)

 

To Be Free (Open Up)

 

I take a cold hard look at the

Bathroom Sink. My golden blood

Seeping out. Dripping gently from my wrist.

The weight of the paper in my hands,

I could not stray from answering the

Hundreds of life-changing questions.

Consuming. So small yet worth so much.

 

Pierce my heart with curves and smiles,

Tangle me up, swallow me whole.

Longing for her, too much. She was taken.

Lifting the weight of the crate

Pushing myself to earn the monetary goal;

Stress and workload for so little.

No wonder my wrists drip this day.

 

I wait for the brown envelope to come,

Staring endlessly, I needed to know.

The results to my life, all at once.

Snap. My mind then split. I understood.

The sharp blade in my hand.

Twisting and turning as I toyed with death.

 

My wrists opened up.

The sink filled with blood.

I fainted and died.

The brown envelope came,

My mum wept her eyes;

 

 Nothing but those deadly A star marks.

 

Reviews

[Scott Free]

Ow, this is depressing...but that's probably the feel you're going for.
Interesting piece. Sorry, I can't say I like it but I know maybe some people would.
Alright, I'd say that you should clarify what the 'brown envelope' is; I was a little bewildered at that. Things should be clear in a poem like this.
Also;
"Longing for her, too much. She was taken.
Lifting the burden of the crate"
*Of* the crate? I would think it would be something more like 'Lifting the burden like a crate' or 'lifting the burden off the crate'. Maybe this was just a minor misspelling. I don't know.
While it seems like there are too many depressing pieces like this around, I would say you seem to have done a good job. Keep writing.

~S

[Jwana Creer Yeshua]

Holy Crap! That is amazing. This poem is so dark yet it has a good message inside it. Great job with this poem. I will be looking for more in the near future.

This was great!

Humbly,
Jwana Creer Yeshua

[Matthew Green]

Are you actually psychotic?

[Fran Marie]

A very intense outburst of emotions spring forth in this sad piece
with very deep feelings being expressed~Well donE!~Fran Marie

[Andrew (not Andy, A.J. ..]

Woefully wonderful. Very emotional. Very sad. Very very very emotionally sad.
Wow, I'm sad now. Too sad to be critical.

[deeps]

Such a emotional piece here.
Gut wrenching sad piece.

[lindsay]

I am honestly speechless. As depressing as it is, I love the emotion.