Eden

we left the garden

like

a

day 

dream

or

a

fever

hand in hand

we walked

into the waiting sea

the Serpent 

sang

a siren's song

the sword

split

the ground behind us

a place where sorry hearts

simply

can't

stay

her shade still stalks

this silent room

this

solemn silence

a sailor's

drunken

soliloquy

Author's Note

So everyone's been writing their lost love poems lately, this is mine, in its fashion...

Reviews

[AYVID N]

Eden has always been a fascinating subject and I found this poem deeply symbolic and interesting. I wondered about the role of the serpent here and what transpired, leading to the lovers' fall from grace.

The final words were haunting, a shadow, a lonely song cutting through the silence. Such hopelessness and despair.

Well done John. You've written of lost love in a very original and beautiful way.

[John Sullivan]

Thanks kindly, Ms. D!

[Soren]

And a good one it is full of symbols pregnant with meaning etched in myth or so not to offend some's religious beliefs. It holds such melancholy and is haunting but such feelings are broken with a dry sense of humor in the last four words. So well written love its format of such short lines following one upon another.

[John Sullivan]

I'm only vaguely religious but I find the poetry of the books and old myths fascinating. The lines should be spaced out a bit more to sort of give it a better rhythm, but the site doesn't wanna cooperate. Thanks for reading, Soren!

[Stella Armour]

A powerful image John, leaving Eden that way and the sword split of the ground left behind... i can almost see it !
Souls tho' don't die , she she maybe doesn't stalk the room but merely visits ...

[John Sullivan]

I agree about the soul. The woman is still with us as far as I know, thankfully. How we occasionally fall in love with our idea of someone, as opposed to the truth of a person. And how they an haunt us. Memory is a funny thing.

[Stella Armour]

It happens John, and sometimes memory can distort things..

[John Sullivan]

Oh for sure. Spending a lot of time with memories lately, probably more than is healthy. They stick with us though, though what it means? Who knows. Thanks for reading, friend.

[John Sullivan]

Eh, the site won't format the thing correctly, but I'm gonna leave it up.