Eden

we left the garden

like

a

day 

dream

or

a

fever

hand in hand

we walked

into the waiting sea

the Serpent 

sang

a siren's song

the sword

split

the ground behind us

a place where sorry hearts

simply

can't

stay

her shade still stalks

this silent room

this

solemn silence

a sailor's

drunken

soliloquy

Author's Note

So everyone's been writing their lost love poems lately, this is mine, in its fashion...

Reviews

[Julie McCarthy (juliesp..]

the ground behind us
a place where sorry hearts
simply
can't
stay


Love the above lines !!!!
Well done poem

[NormaZ]

Beautiful poem, so rich with imagery. Another reviewer mentioned the Garden Of Eden, and that's what came for me too. Also I like the way it looks visually on the page. Nice job!

[Lonely Bunny]

Ah, what a beautiful piece of art. The emotions are captured so well and effortlessly.

[John Sullivan]

Thank you so much! A cathartic write, glad you appreciate it so

[Ken Simm.]

A sombre piece of love music. That is what this is. And beautiful with it.

[John Sullivan]

Thank you kindly Ken!

[Patricia Wedel]

Love of our Creation when tempted to fall to Earth and become destined to be Lost… 😡 until Kingdom come… Amen. Pat

[John Sullivan]

Spirituality has been on my mind a great deal lately, and lost love... thoughtful days. Cheers

[Poetic Beauty]

Leaving the Garden of Eden and all that it shouts. I love the images shown in this poem.

[John Sullivan]

Thank you so kindly, Ms. PB. Will return the review favor for sure!

[Poetic Beauty]

You are welcome and no rush. My words will be here whenever you have time.

[John Sullivan]

Very kind. I'm thinking a nap is in order, but I shall return lol

[Poetic Beauty]

Naps are awesome!!

[John Sullivan]

Would that I could sleep! Gonna try again in a minute lol

[Poetic Beauty]

Sometimes I don’t sleep well either. Had that issue for many year since my teens. That’s why I like naps lol

[John Sullivan]

Yeah, same here. Either I'll sleep when I'm dead or I'm dead asleep lol. Lotta troubling dreams lately, I'm afraid. But anyways. You've been most kind, as always, and I'll certainly return the review favor soon!

[Poetic Beauty]

I’m lucky in the aspect I don’t have terrible dreams very often. I typically being me, have sultry dreams, I know shocker lol

I have anxiety but I’m not typically terrified except flying and heights

[John Sullivan]

Ahahahaha, never woulda guessed :P

Thanks for reading.

[Poetic Beauty]

You are welcome

[Daz]

Great poem here. I really like the way it reads.

[John Sullivan]

Thank you for your kind thoughts

[Melinda McQueen]

With poise like that of a river you told the story in elegant flow, Puts the reader in remembrance of love.

[John Sullivan]

Thanks Melinda!

[Betty Hermelee]

Melancholic, loss, silence, love, daydream... all of this in an excellent poem...." serpent sang a siren's song" then.... silence, but still remembered...very emotional as well...
Warmly, B

[John Sullivan]

Lotsa memories lately. It's funny how people stick with us, isn't it?

[Betty Hermelee]

Yes they do!
A pleasure John
Warmly, B

[Thomas W Case]

Wow. I'm speechless—tremendous work. You evoke a lot of mention here. Powerful writing.

[John Sullivan]

Thanks Tom. Yeah, they never quite leave us, do they? Cheers, my friend