"Good night my sweet boy...Ode to Tiger"©

 

 

July 8, 2008

 

Hi everyone,

This isn't easy to write, but I feel it's cathartic for me to do so. I want to share my life with my Tiger. Eighteen years is a lot of ground to cover so I will attempt to make it as brief as possible.

Tiger found me in April of 1991. Actually, he found me with my friend Charlie as he literally wailed from Charlie's mom's garage. Nobody knew there was a litter of kittens in there, Charlie's Bright Eyes hustled out and sewed his oats so to speak. I don't know for sure if Tiger is Bright Eyes son, but he sure carried some Siamese traits. Tiger had a short hair twin that was named Tigger. Sadly, I'm not sure what happened to him. The wild is the wild no matter the scale.

Charlie and I raced out to the garage and opened the side sliding door to find a tiny fluffy white and champaigned colored kitten with huge blue eyes. He was clinging to a box by his front paws while dangling from twine from his back left leg. It was purple in color by the time Charlie cut him down. This little being who had never known human contact lunged immediately into Charlie's hair. He was shaking and purring against his neck as we consoled him. Immediate trust was born.

We raced him to the 24 hr emergency vet to find that the leg that had been strewn up was in tact. However, the circulation was cut off far too long and would either need to be amputated or the animal needed to be put down if the circulation didn't return in 48 hrs.

At the time Charlie lived with mom and I. We brought the kitten home with our minds already made up. It was a no brainer. The challenge was to present this amazing little life to my mom. The moment we exposed our little surprise she melted...lol! This tiny cotton ball with legs gimped his way across the table to her and it was a done deal. Mom is actually the one that named this incredible gift. He was named Tiger from that point on. He was tiny, but his will to live was that of a tiger!

As time would prove Tiger stuck by me through and through. He'd relax near the stereo as I played Queensryche at any decibel. To him it might be like listening to Mozart for others. He'd even listen to my grandparent's music...big band...tweak his ear back and then lay down in approval. Yup, he was my rocker buddy...my son...my cat the music lover...period. He couldn't stand Ace Of Bass or ABBA though...haa haa haa! Like mother like son. He'd meow like his ears were hurting. Too funny...however, he did like his dose of Rick Springfield.

As a kitten I'll never forget his first Christmas. We brought this 6' tree in and you would have thought that a miracle had just been performed! This exuberant three legged wonder launched himself up the tree trunk to the very top...poked his little head out and all you could see was an ocean of green pine and blue eyes peering out at you. We hadn't balanced the tree quite yet in the stand and all of a sudden the tree started listing. As the tree fell Tiger again launched himself like super stunt kitty into the air landing on all threes. LOL! We were freaked at the time, but in retrospect it was one of the most precious moments with Tiger that I will never forget.

He was very will-full as a kitten, hung out with the best of 'um at parties we had as a mid-aged cool cat, and in his older years he just wanted to be loved. Tiger moved with me nine times in his eighteen years. It only took the first move from the condo to my Aunt Julie's for him to understand I would never leave him. That first move was hard on him. I didn't have a mattress at that point and he kept crawling under the blankets placed on the floor. I think he was hoping to come back out at the condo. Finally, he stopped and calmed down seeing that every time he came out the other side I was there. I'd never abandon him or leave him to want. It didn't matter...I was probably a great big cat to him...to and for him I was momma.

Tiger was a very vocal cat, as most of you know. Sometimes he drove me bananas because of it, but every now and then I and many would swear he said, "meeooowma". Seriously...it's true! What I wouldn't give to have him say it one more time. 

His last few years were spent here in Woodland Hills at the apartment I'm in now. During one of my moves I acquired another way-ward kitten I named Lucky. At the time I lived in an old house with two close friends...Dana and Julie. Each with cats of their own and me with my Tiger. Late one night we heard a tiny meeow from the wall inside the house. Operation rescue kitty went into action! A bar stool was grabbed and brought outside. The only way to get to this little voice was through the attic. The only way to the attic was through a type of barn door on the side of the house. I got on the stool and Julie and Dana helped push me up into the attic. I shoved my arm as far deep as it would go between the wall. I didn't give a crap about spiders or other bugs. I just kept calling this little life to follow my voice. Low and behold we hear scratching along the wall towards me. The kitten found it's way directly into my palm. Her eyes were crusted shut and appeared to possibly still be feeding off her momma, but abandoned. We never found out how she got stuck in the wall, but she certainly had the will and courage to live! And so Tiger had a stepsister for better or worse. LOL! They had a love hate relationship, but I feel it was more love than anything.

In Tiger's last days Lucky was coveting him...sniffing him...lying next to him. I sense she knew he wasn't well. Fast-forward...my friend Michelle came over to help shave Lucky's sides. Poor baby had developed a bit of a girthy issue and was becoming quite the Rastafarian. Clearly she needed relief from the matting...not to mention the heat must have been uncomfortable for her. Michelle also took a few moments to trim Tiger here and there. Earlier that day he wouldn't eat regular cat food and mom bought him baby food, which he inhaled. Sunday...he wouldn't eat if at all. Tiger would take in some water, but that was it.

Sunday night...I picked him up and put him on his pillow above my pillow as I always do. He hopped over to my side and just stared at me. He was tired and very thin. I got the message and rubbed my head against his. He rubbed back against my head and ear...meowed and hopped off my bed. Later he came back and we did the same thing...I became exhausted with denial. But it was time...the final telling sign was when Tiger made his way to the back of the toilet and laid on the floor. It was clear he was trying to go away as if he was in the wild.

Mom and I took him to the Vet. As we waited for the doc to see him I pulled him out of the box and held him on my shoulder exactly how he use to perch himself. I just needed to. We didn't know what the blood results would bring for sure, but my folks and I knew in out gut Tiger was trying to say farewell and thank you.

Mom and I stepped away until the blood test was confirmed. The call came and we were told his numbers were off the chart with renal failure...aka kidney failure. Mom and I returned to the vet and were escorted to a room where we would spend our last hello with Tiger. The gentleman nurse brought him to me and placed him on the table. Tiger had what looked like a tennis sweatband on his right front leg. It was blue with a red heart on it. There was a tube inserted underneath the band where the injections were to be administered.

He wandered around the table for a moment as I blocked the edges so he wouldn't fall. The doctor came in and it hit me like a freight train...this was goodbye of the flesh. But I had to be strong for him. Mom was on stand-bye...on the other side of the table. The gentle doctor asked the most odd question...it didn't want to register at first. "Are you ready?" I paused...kissed his head a million times...kissed him between his eyes a million times more. I pulled Tiger close to my chest and the oddest thing happened. He relaxed and was quiet before anything had been given. He leaned into me with total trust...exhausted. He was done being strong. I became the pillar he rested on. I nodded my head to the doctor...she then injected the pain killer/sedative. His legs slid downward in front of him and laid his chin down as though the weight of the world had been removed. He blinked his eyes as though drowsy...the next shot was given...a tiny exhale was expelled and with that Tiger's energy was sent back into the universe one more time...

Thank you for loving me so much that you'd fight to hang on so long...Tiger, your spirit will be inside me and all around me for the rest of my days. Thank you my son...thank you for visiting me...I love you and miss you so much!

~Namaste~

Love,

XO ~Mama~