MW-PB-03

For those of you who read my other works, you know they stay realistic. Well, I'm taking a stab at Sci-Fi, with a story about a family who must flee their galaxy and live on the planet where their ancestors are from, and where a member of that family expe

MW-PB-03

Justin Guidroz

            Ezekiel was flying through the cosmos four times the speed of light, approximately 1,200,000,000 meters per second. The IFS (Intergalactic Ferry Ship) was packed to the brim with former citizens of Ywanksa, Ezekiel’s home planet. The soft music that seeped through the speakers on the ship failed to drown out the pings and pangs of tiny rocks hitting the titanium shell of the ship. Ezekiel was squished between his sleeping father, Thomas, and the tiny window separating him from the infinite universe. The entire ship held around four hundred people, all who gave off a collected body heat that made the conditions aboard miserable and made the air almost unbreathable. The ship was modeled after an invention of his people hundreds of years before, called the aerodynamic flying machine in all of the history books he had back home, which have probably all perished by now. Ezekiel looked out the window into the dark space, and watched another three-hundred ships, identical to the one he was riding, oval in shape with a rounded tip and gigantic rockets on the end, heading toward a place Ezekiel thought only existed in books. Ezekiel began to drift off, his head full of the images of beauty he had seen in books of this place. A place of never-ending beauty, of green luscious lands and deep blue waters, of wild flowers and white snow, things that all had been fading from existence on Ywanksa. This place, this planet, was where his people came from so many years ago, so long ago that many people forgot its name, and just refer to it by its scientific name: MW-PB-03.

***

            When Ezekiel was around ten years old, he became extremely interested in science, especially space and Ywanksa science, that is, the study of rocks and planetly substances. His father Thomas, being a scientist himself, encouraged Ezekiel in his studies, buying him many books about space. His mother had been part of YASA (Ywanksa Aeronautics and Space Administration) and would have been so incredibly proud of her son Thomas always thought to himself as he looked up at the sky with his son. She perished in a mission upon the Authority ship when Ezekiel was three. All of his memories of her are of pictures and constant reminders of her appearance in him, his soft hazel eyes and delicate, small hands to name a few. He was a Caucasian child with brown hair and a skinny, linear face, reflecting his father’s.

            One night, Thomas walked into Ezekiel’s room at around 48:17 at night, to find him hiding under his covers with a faint flashlight, reading another book he had probably received from the science department head at his school. The light went off suddenly when the door was opened. His father smiled slightly, and said, “Ezekiel, I know you’re awake.” Ezekiel groaned and pushed his covers down, revealing his face, scared and full of guilt. Thomas sat down next to him and patted his son’s leg. “So, what ya reading there son?”

            “About MW-PB-03,” Ezekiel muttered, “I don’t fully understand, why did they all leave?”

            “Well son, many, many, many years ago, the people who lived there destroyed the planet, using their resources up without a single thought for conservation, well, not until it was too late.”

            “What do you mean Dad? What didn’t they save?”

            “Food, water, plants, air, everything they needed for survival. They were all greedy and narrow-minded. They didn’t fully understand what they had nor what they did.”

            “Ignorance isn’t bliss,” Ezekiel whispered.

            “That’s right son,” Thomas ruffled his hair, “it isn’t.”

            “So what happened Dad? How did they escape?”

            “Not all of them did. The governments on the planet decided that this was a perfect opportunity to start fresh. So, instead of bringing everyone, they only deported people with a high intelligence quotient who were young and fit. No elders, no small children, no sick, and no criminals.”

            This notion spread a feeling of discomfort throughout Ezekiel. “So, what happened to the rest of the people who were left behind?”

            Thomas shook his head solemnly, “You don’t need those kinds of nightmares so young.” He shuddered as he recalled the stories that members of the Union told him of his wife’s death.

***

Lily’s mission was to fly back to MW-PB-03 to see if it was inhabitable again. What they found was a barren wasteland, the grounds were brown and dry, rivers dried up, and the air hazy with pollution. They soon found a band of stragglers, who communicated with grunts and hand gestures. The astronauts were captured and brought back to a small camp where more savages rested, all of them appearing dirty and barbaric in behavior. As they looked around, they saw mounds of ivory bones piled high, some of which were being gnawed on by a few skinny children, their suspicious eyes darting around like ferocious scavengers fearing the alpha male. Jason Rhode, the astronaut who survived to bring back this account, observed a very frightening thing; there were no animals present, and the main food supply was that of human flesh. He whispered this lowly to the other astronauts, four in total. Lily, upon hearing this, began to scream loudly in fear, and was soon clubbed over the head by the head savage, killing her instantly.

They were brought to a cave and forced to sit down. They dragged Lily’s still body away, drooling in anticipation for the meal to come. As soon as they left, Jason wiggled around, undoing the knots his hands were bounded in. He freed the others and began to formulate a plan of escape, but was cut off by the return of a sentry, who hooted and grunted loudly, alerting the rest of the tribe. Jason reached behind him and pulled out a revolver and shot the sentry, who fell to the ground without another sound. The shot echoed throughout the cave, and soon the alpha male appeared, big and strong, his hairy chest black with dirt, carrying a large wooden club. However, he kept his distance from the group, fearing the small silver item in Jason’s hands. Jason looked up, and saw a small, delicate hand covered in blood draped in the leader’s mouth. Anger surged through his body, and he aimed and fired three times at the leader, who roared as he fell down lifeless.

The savages cowered in unspeakable fear, and the group ran out of the cave without a look behind them. They ran back towards the Authority when one of the shipmates looked behind him to find an arrow protruding from his chest. The other astronaut went back to retrieve his fallen comrades body, only to be ambushed by a small group of barbarians hiding behind some rocks. Screams of agony faded behind Jason as he ran without a second look back. He reached the ship and took cover inside as he started the boosters up. The bangs and thuds against the side of the ship were silenced as they were fried by the inferno jetting Jason into the sky, back home.

Upon his arrive, he was immediately detained and he told the Union of the horrific journey. The Union, deciding it was only fair for the families to know the truth, invited the parents and spouses of the dead astronauts to hear of their fate. Thomas, later that night, held his three year old baby Ezekiel in his arms, rocking him to sleep and crying over Lily’s mirror image in his hands.

***

            Many years latter, when Ezekiel was fifteen, Thomas got the courage to tell his son the truth about his mother. Ezekiel at first could not believe what he was told. His fascination with the planet MW-PB-03, of its indescribable beauty, would not accept that it had become a place of barbaric cannibalism and death. He went silent for months, burying all of his astronomy books deep in the basement of his house. His friends became afraid for his mental being, for he became antisocial. Finally, one day Ezekiel sat down next to his father silently and wheezed, “Why did they go to MW-PB-03? Why did they send her to her death?” His voice was like ancient dust, not used in so long, only now beginning to move again.

            Thomas, his hair now graying with age, sighed deeply, “This galaxy is at its end, Ezekiel. We must leave it soon.”

            Ezekiel turned slowly, his eyes searching his father’s aging face, each forming wrinkle another mark of sadness on his brow. “What do you mean this galaxy is at its end?”

            “Our sun is old and aging, and is ready for its death. It’s going to supernova Ezekiel, and very soon, within the next five years. Preparations have been made, and we evacuate in 2827, three years from now.”

            “And where are we to go?”

            Thomas turned his sad eyes upon his son, “MW-PB-03.”

            Ezekiel stood up with a flurry of anger and confusion. “How? How are we going to return to that god-forsaken place? My mother was killed there, by barbarians! I can’t go there!” His voice crackled as he yelled at his sad father.

            “After the Authority returned, the Union sent a group of scientists and militia to MW-PB-03, and they killed off all of the savages. The scientist then began work on restoring the atmosphere and the vegetation. Just a month ago it was declared clean enough to allow livestock back. We must go there Ezekiel. This place, this planet, is history.”

            “No, I’m not going. Not to that place. Never!” Ezekiel ran out of the house and out into the countryside. The yellow hills rolled on into the pink horizon, and he sat on the hilltop and looked up at the sun. The suddenly brightness it portrayed to him blinded him. It was brighter. The temperature was hotter. It was time for this world to end.

            He returned home later that afternoon to find his father in the kitchen, making artificial lemonade out of a preservative powder. Thomas looked up at his son, who rushed forward to embrace him. Thomas let out a sigh of relief. “So you’re coming, aren’t you?”

            “Yes, I am,” Ezekiel bowed his head. “I do have one question.”

            “Ask it.”

            “Will the Union do what the governments did when they left MW-PB-03 all those years ago?

            “You mean evaluations? No. For you see Ezekiel,” Thomas placed a hand on Ezekiel’s shoulder, “we are the chosen ones.” Thomas turned around and began to walk out of the kitchen. But after a few steps he stopped, and turned to face Ezekiel, “One more thing. If we are to live on the planet, you should call it by its real name.”

            “You mean the whole title? Milky Way – Planetary Body – Number 3?”

            “No, by its real name, Earth.”

Author's Note

Just, what do you think? I usually don't write Sci-Fi, so I'm open to any and all objections, suggestions, comments, etc.

Reviews

[Weaver]

"through the cosmos four times" - "at four times"
"1,200,000,000 meters per second" - This would be a lot less awkward as "one-point-two billion meters per second"
"pings and pangs of tiny rocks hitting the titanium shell" - You may not be aware of this, but the current theory is that matter striking at even 89 percent of light speed will have the same destructive effect (minus the radiation, at least) as if it were the same mass in antimatter. At four times light speed, even a speck of dust would be putting holes in the hull.
"father, Thomas, and" - no commas
"the tiny window" - In a ship going 4C? Why? It's not as if they could see anything. And what is the window made of, that the tiny rocks don't damage it, at least making it clouded from little scratches?
"people, all who gave off a collected body heat" - "people who gave off a collective body heat"
I do wonder why a society that can build a ship capable of going this fast is unable to design better waste-heat removal or air recycling.
"which have probably all perished by now" - "which had"
no comma after "into the dark space"
"three-hundred" - no hyphen
"Ywanksa science, that is, the study of rocks and planetly substances" - "planetary"
comma after "proud of her son"
"memories of her are of pictures" - "were"
"a Caucasian child" - You mean "light-skinned" or some equivalent. Their planet doesn't have the Caucasus region, so it cannot have a type of people associated with that region. (Rather like you can't have buildings with "French" windows on a planet that never had a France - they'd be called something else.)
"linear face" - "angular"
"48:17 at night" - This is a nice touch, showing (not telling) that they have a different way of measuring time.
comma after "what ya reading there"
period, not comma, after "Ezekiel muttered"
"Well son" - comma after "Well"
"using their resources up without a single thought for conservation" - This valid as a cause for a planet to become uninhabitable (although if they used up all their resources, how did they still have the means to build ships to leave?), but I am very much hoping this story doesn't turn into a mere environmentalist sermon. (Sometimes preaching to the choir only offends them.) Work the message into a good story, though, and you're fine.
"What do you mean Dad" - comma after "mean"
"That's right son" - comma after "right" - Always use a comma or commas to separate a direct address from the rest of the sentence - period, not comma, after "son"
period, not comma, after "his hair" - capitalize "It"
comma after "So what happened"
"only deported people with a high intelligence quotient who were young and fit. No elders, no small children, no sick, and no criminals" - First, I don't think you mean "deported" - it has connotations of this being some sort of punishment. Also, you cannot start a viable colony without people who are willing and able to take orders from others; highly intelligent people have an annoying (even to each other) tendency to think "I know best, and I don't have to do what you say." Also, depending on how you define "highly intelligent," you wouldn't have ENOUGH of them who were also young and fit to make up a colony. (At 160 IQ, for example, the numbers are around 1 in 12,000 - total. That doesn't filter for health and age.) I see the reasons for not taking "elders" whose health made them unable to survive the rigors of journey, but leaving behind all of them would mean leaving your past, your history, and much of your culture.
period, not comma, after "shook his head solemnly"
period, not comma, after "barren wasteland"
"the air hazy with pollution" - How long have they been gone? Without humans to keep adding crap into the air, the weather is more than capable of washing stuff out of the air, given time.
no comma after "band of stragglers" - I don't think "stragglers" is the right word here. You mean descendants of the people left there, correct?
"communicated with grunts and hand gestures" - Contrary to pulp-SF ideas, loss of high tech does NOT cause humans to also lose language. There has to be a good reason why they haven't simply experienced linguistic drift but are still speaking normally.
If you want this story to have stronger impact, you could give more description of what the planet looks like, and of how the people from Lily's mission felt when they saw it.
(I won't complain about names if you won't.)
colon, not semicolon, after "very frightening thing"
"the main food supply was that of human flesh" - Where are the plants? You MUST have them - there can be no breathable air otherwise. Humans can live on a strictly vegetarian diet if they have to, and cannibalism has all sort of nasty side-effects that make it unlikely as a long-term and exclusive thing.
no comma after "scream loudly in fear"
"clubbed over the head by the head savage" - I'd suggest a different word to designate the leader of the locals - "head" is used twice here with different meanings
"anticipation for the meal" - "anticipation of"
You're glossing over a lot of action that would better serve the story if described in a bit of detail.
"pulled out a revolver" - Do you mean this literally, or do you mean that he had a handgun of some kind?
"fell to the ground without another sound" - Except with some head wounds, people seldom die instantly from being shot. Even shots to the heart leave enough time for a scream or some twitching., at the least.
no comma after "Jason looked up"
"fallen comrades body" - "comrade's"
"Upon his arrive" - "arrival"
comma after "he was immediately detained"
"three year old baby" - "three-year-old"
"of its indescribable beauty" - "with its indescribable beauty"
"afraid for his mental being" - "mental wellbeing"
period, not comma, after "sighed deeply"
"This galaxy is at its end" - D'you have any idea how freakin' HUGE a whole galaxy is?? And no planet anywhere in theirs that can support human life?
comma after "What do you mean"
"It’s going to supernova" - Stars that go supernova DO NOT have planets where humans can live. The spectrum is all wrong - too much of the wrong kinds of radiation. Human-friendly stars can go nova, but that's another matter... I think what you actually mean is "It's becoming a red giant"
comma before "Ezekiel"
"within the next five years" That's cutting it VERY close. If they can predict so closely, why did they not start working on evacuating sooner?
period, not comma, after "sad eyes upon his son"
"they killed off all of the savages" - ALL of them? Without using a method that would further wreck the environment?
Only 12 years to re-terraform (or whatever they'd call it) a planet so thoroughly messed up? Even if they can fix the climate so easily, the plants would take a long time to spread.
comma after "We must go there"
"brightness it portrayed to him" - not "portrayed" - I think you mean "displayed"
If their sun is about to go boom within the next five years, the temperature and light would have ALREADY increased. This isn't the sort of thing that just happens without warning - it's a gradual process.
"artificial lemonade out of a preservative powder" - Neat - citric acid (often used as a preservative) could be used to make fake lemonade, if you diluted it and added a bit of flavor.
period, not comma, after "Yes, I am"
comma after "For you see"
no comma after "after a few steps he stopped"
period, not comma, after "turned to face Ezekiel"
"No, by its real name, Earth" - I was expecting this as soon as the planet was first mentioned. If you're going for a surprise here, you should know that this is a fairly common trope in sci-fi on a certain era, and a lot of readers are going to see this end coming.
The story has some potential, if you develop the ideas more and don't gloss over the details. Plus, you've got to fix the science or give the reader a reason to ignore the impossibilities.

[CLUTZ]

i like it. i was so into it with the descriptions and the emotions, it was excellent. and then it ended and Ezekiel asked his dad to call the planet by it's real name. and i was confused trying to figure out what the father was going to say, and then he said Earth. wonderful.