his eyes

I will never forget the kindness in his eyes

his eyes

kind like Dad's

when I was hurt

the young soldier

presents the flag

Author's Note

Graphic credit: Google images

Publication credit: Ribbons 2013

Reviews

[Eddie Phillips]

This touches me deeply. I stood at a funeral for a dad of two boys. it broke my heart but I wanted to honor this fine soldier. I will never forget the look in his sons eyes. This made me think of that. Thank you for sharing this.

[Joyce S. Greene]

It makes me happy that this one touched you personally, Eddie. I received the flag at my father's funeral and capturing that moment in a tanka was an incredible feeling. Thanks for letting me know your thoughts. It means a lot to me.

[Eddie Phillips]

No you honor all us with your wonderful words. :)

[Muse]

Perfect. A favorite in my library. I don't know where your inspiration comes from, family I suppose. It serves you well.

[Joyce S. Greene]

Thanks again, Muse. You are making me feel very warm inside today. What a nice thing to say. This one began at my father's funeral and took quite a while to become a finished tanka.

[Muse]

you should have a note to readers sharing this...it takes the meaning into a deeper level.

[wordman]

your eyes goes straight to your soul
short to the point and lingering thoughts

Ron

[Joyce S. Greene]

Thanks for stopping by to leave such nice thoughts behind. I really appreciate your comments.

[wordwarrior]

Sad, haunting and very touching Joyce. You are so good with brevity and pack so much emotion into your pieces.
Lovely writing as I have come to know from you!

[Keith]

So few words say so very much. Very touching Joyce.

[PANTHER811]

Most storied twenty-four notes in music. Concluded with a presentation of the flag. A moment always profound within the memories we collect. And you penned it very well. :)

[Joyce S. Greene]

Thanks, Tom. Appreciate your very nice words.

[TrueBlu]

I don't know why but, when I read your wonderful and very moving write, my mind immediately pictured a mother and/or father at the funeral of their son or daughter who lost their life serving in one of the branches of the armed forces, and how all their hopes and dreams of what the future would be were wiped away, leaving them with an unfillable hole of what could have been as a part of their life was violently ripped from them. Then I read Lydia's comment and realized, your wonderful write is not only about the ones who did not cone home and their family and friends, but also about the ones who did then later passed on, leaving unfillable holes in the lives of their family and friends, and I can almost see that young soldier's eyes fighting back tears as he presents the flag whispering, I wish there was more I could for my fallen brother and all of you whom he loved so dearly. Very moving write my friend.

[Joyce S. Greene]

What a beautifully moving comment, Bill, but then I will always remember your verse as being some of the most moving poetry that I have ever read. Thank you for taking the time to let me know that my tanka moved you. It means a lot to me. Your friend, Joyce

[Allen Smuckler]

Boy, How such few words create such a poignant moment...
we're introduced to that young soldier with kind eyes like Dad...and forced to wonder
why? When? ........... who?
the comfort those kind eyes present
and still we are left to ponder the age old question?
"How many deaths will it take til he knows....that too many people have died "
How many more must die.. before we finally see....
powerful write Joyce
allen

[Joyce S. Greene]

Thank you once again, for such a wonderful comment, Allen. I appreciate the time and attention you have devoted to my poems. Have a very good day. :)

[jacob erin-cilberto]

this flutters of sorrow...and the speaker is hurt now, the soldier kindly presents her the flag in memory of ....

you create a heartfelt moment in these few words.

jacob

[Joyce S. Greene]

Thank you, Jacob. This poem was born at my father's funeral. It took a while for it to become a written poem and longer to reach its final form, but it will help me remember that moment for the rest of my life. Poetry is a wonderful medium for storing memories. Thank you so much for your lovely comment. You have touched me with your words and I am very grateful. Joyce

[ShelleyA]

Hi Joyce. A powerful write and image. Heartfelt. Excellent brevity. A skillfully crafted Tanka; perfect for of 31 syllables or less. I love this form and you write is so well. Good flow and tone. Deep expression of emotion. Poignant. Well penned. Write on!