Pierce My Heart & Let It Drain... (Cupid)

What Cupid could do for me...

Cupid

Cute Cupid

With your love sharp arrows

 And pearly white diaper

Do me a favor

And shoot me

 

Shoot me in the heart

Instead of my butt

For she tore it apart

And ran off with it

 

Make it shrivel up

Cease the beats of rythm

Cupid I beg you please

 

Pierce it

So the love

Can drain

With the everlasting pain

 

I know you can do it

Just aim a bit higher

Take as many

As you need

 

Her evil is a weed

Choking my heart

End this eternal suffering

For my heart

Needs a place

To love again

 

Pierce my heart

I beg of you

Before it gives in

To her poison

Let it drain

Just like rain

Cupid

Cute Cupid...

Author's Note

Reviews are most appreciated
Pic by www.graphics99.com

Reviews

[Shy Girl]

Well...me myself and Cupid have an odd relationship. ;) he finds you where you thought you were alone...deserts you when you are one of the many...and can just plain be frustrating when he doesn't see the heart the way you do ;) I like your piece...just hadnt pictured anyone wanting Cupid to use the arrows for something so drastic as snuffing out ones beating heart. But then again I'm looking from that dark corner I sometimes sit within...just beneath that shadow one sees instead of me. Can see another song in this one :)

[J. F. Charleston]

I too have that same kind of relationship. It's totally frustrating until he wants to help you. I guess it seems a bit odd that I used his arrows to puncture my heart to drain the broken love from my heart so new love can replace it.

You know about that song thing. I believe that in a way all my pieces have that song feeling that you and I can see. Thanks for the review and I hope to read a new piece of yours soon.

[Shy Girl]

I'm hoping I can write a new piece soon too... :/. Either way I'm very glad that you can see what I do or feel the same when reading one of your wonderful pieces. :) always a pleasure to read you and thanks for the RRs :)

[J. F. Charleston]

Always is just sharing something with you. I love to hear your opinions. You can be completely honest with me. If something didn't seem right, tell me.
I hate that when a person has a negative thing about you and they take forever to get to the point or they never do. Life would be so much more simpler if people were forward...

Sorry if that sounded a little too forward. Well thanks and always a pleasure.

[Shy Girl]

Not at all...just honest. Can't think of anything negative here on my side of the screen. Been honest since the first piece of yours I've read. Don't think it's right to be anyother way when helping somebody or encouraging a fellow author. (And sometimes just being a friend) I do like your pieces...this had a different twist on the arrow wielding angelic cherub :) Sometimes when I think of the shadowed side of things...one author on here calls it my "dark corner " I peek from on occasion. Just happens... But it's just the frame of mind I'm in...not negative towards a piece..just see something different is all. :) I like getting you RRs very much.

[J. F. Charleston]

I see that dark corner. Just sit there and observe. Know that darn corner too darn well. I just got done with a new piece. Could you tell me what you think?

[Shy Girl]

Sure I'll take a looksy at it... :)

[Alyssa Carlstrom]

You've changed your style of writing a little... My impression of the poem was that it's more dark than others. It wasn't bad, just a little too scary for me, haha. But every writer writes different things. Keep expressing yourself!

[J. F. Charleston]

Thanks and yes I agree. This piece is a bit darker than the others. I guess a bit of darkness was ready to be written. I haven't written like it for a long time.

[KurKota]

Nice write, except to me there is something not quite right with the 4th stanza.....maybe drain the pain ????? Whoops, just looked down and saw comment by previous reviewer, ....ok sounds like the same concern. Anyway, nice write.

[J. F. Charleston]

I see yalls concerns and really you seem to be right. Thanks for catching it guys.

[KurKota]

Glad to be of some help, maybe ... Have a good one !

[A. H. Pinley]

Instead of using rain use pain from an open wound. It is obvious the poem is in pain.