Midnight Romance

"So, tell me, Jacob." Lauren's mother said as she poked at the roast in front of her. "What exactly do you do?" She looked up from the roast and at Jacob who was keeping an eye on Dean. Dean was looking like he was going to jump across the table and pounce on Jacob.

"I'm fresh out of college and I'm applying to be a sheriff next week." Jacob said before taking a drink of water.

"Interesting. You know, Lauren's father was a sheriff."

"Yeah, once things changed, I retired." Lauren's father said after taking a bite of the potatoes.

 

"What changed?" Jacob asked wanting to know what he ment.

"The old friends I used to work with five years ago. Once they left and fresh newbies filled the department with different strategies. Eveything wasn't the same, and I was becomeing an old man." Lauren's father explained. Jacob nodded his head and went back to his plate full vegetables.

 

Lauren sat next Jacob and was silent for most of the meal. Everyone except Dean questioned Jacob all night. She felt a little uneasy, because this was the first time that he was introduced to her family, she was nervous if her parents didn't accept her cowboy. She knew Dean wouldn't accept him just because he was her brother and that he didn't like her being with any guy that wasn't family.

 

The memory of Dean nearly killing her last boyfriend sent chills through her body. The night of that event surfaced so fast and clearly that she could still feel the heat where her old lover hit her. The bruises were still fresh and her face was still wet from the gallons of tears that she cried that night. The look of Dean's face then had painted into her mind. His eyes were full of rage and hate...

 

"Well if you'll excuse me, I'll turn in for the night." Lauren's mother said getting up and taking her plate into the kitchen. Everyone else was mainly finished and everyone seemed exhausted from the hot day. Lauren was the last to walk into the kitchen to clean the dishes.

 

"Here, let me help you with this." Jacob rolled his sleeves up as the water started flowing from the faucet.

"It's ok. You don't have to." Lauren said soaking the sponge. 

"I know, but I think Dean is waiting to tear my head off." Jacob said smiling and handing her a plate. He squirted some water on her and she yelpped when the water landed on her. She hit him on the shoulder with the dish towel as he laughed.

 

They chatted their way through the cluttered sink.  Lauren had told Jacob why Dean was very hard and protective, and that she hung out with the wrong kind of people in high school; how she had tried almost everything to find a missing piece of her life. Tons of weight come off her shoulders as she spent the time with Jacob to share a piece of her life that she only told her sister about.

 

When Dean and her sister walked up the stairs to turn in for the night, Lauren snuck Jacob out the back door. Once outside, Jacob picked her up in his arms. He walked around to his truck and put her down.

 

They looked at each other in the pale moon light. Her eyes glowed so bright. She kissed him for a long moment. And when their lips parted, they focused into one another's eyes. Lauren's weren't sleepy, they were wide open and wanting to have a good time. He opened the passenger door and she climbed in while he ran around to the driver side. As he punched the gas, Dean came flying out of the front door of the house.

 

 Jacob turned onto the two yellow lined road leaving Dean behind in a cloud of dust. They cranked the windows down and the radio up. Jacob sang along with Randy Travis' song "Deeper Than the Holler" while they flew down the old road.

 

He turned onto a red dirt road and the ride became rough and bumpy. Lauren was singing her lungs out and her hair was going wild. He stopped in a open field and let the tailgate fall. Jacob picked Lauren up and set her down on the scratched tailgate.

 

Stars dotted the black sky. The radio was turned down low and they cuddled underneath the stars above. Once she kissed him, Jacob fell underneath her spell. He proped her on his lap, and slowly starting to remove her overshirt revealing her tanktop and belly button ring...

Author's Note

Pic not by me
Feedback is most appreciated.

Reviews

[Heather Maria]

This made me smile. There were a few grammar mistakes, but overall it was really good. I know length isn't everything, but I still don't feel like I know the characters. I feel like I keep floating in this good story without truly knowing the character of the characters if that makes sense. In the first few chapters it states that Jacob is a Christian and doesn't want to compromise his beliefs. Alright, I would like to know more about him and why he has strong beliefs. Lauren's family is really protective, why? Did she previously have a bad relationship? The conversation at the dinner table in this chapter could have been more in depth. I want to know more about their conversation and what Lauren thought. Overall, I just need more within the story itself.

[J. F. Charleston]

Thanks for the helpful reviews. Really thanks. This helps me alot. Yes I agree that I could've done a better job on the dinner table scene and so on. I appreciate your interest in this book as I am (even though I'm writing it.) I'm still a young writer and trying new things is what I guess I'm trying to do. I find myself reading these kind of reviews and having a idea for a new chapter to reveal the characters better. I'll work on this a little. I'm glad that we befriended each other.

[Heather Maria]

You're welcome! :) That's why I joined this site to get aquainted with other writers and get constructive feedback. My creative writer professor always said, "It's a draft unil you die". In a way it is, because there is always something we can do to make it better. Although, it does not have to 100% to be published. I'm glad too, I enjoy your writing!

Yes, I'm anxious to see if Jacob decides to take things to the next level or slow them down. That also is a defining point in the story for his characterization. Oh, I think a digression or flashback would be good for him. Just an idea, but a glimpse into his past would be cool.

[J. F. Charleston]

Yes I see what you're saying. My band director always said that the piece can be close to perfect, but can always be better than what we could play. Why didn't I think of such a thing?

[Heather Maria]

Lol I'm a musician myself and have heard that more than once. Overal all of my years of performing I think I've only had one performance where I felt pride in my playing.

[J. F. Charleston]

That's very sad hearing that. I've had plenty and I plan on putting my instrument away when it just doesn't have the same feeling. I'm finding that feeling in my writing. Doing something worth doing.