The Death of a Great God

WHAT DO WE DO WITH HIM?

Chapter 1: I Am I

I am I. God says of himself, “I am I.” Then he says to those who believe in him, “I am you.” But they cannot say back to him, “I am you.” That is because they are not him but he is them. I say, “No one is me.” I also says,o, “No one but I am I.” That is because no one is I but me. But I am not who you think I am nor who I think I am, but who I actually am which I do not know and that is true. I have thought long and hard on the subject and decided there really is no me and no I that I profess to me because I cannot imagine who I am, only who I think I am and not the one I truly am. That one cannot be known until an infinite number of guesses as to whom I really am is fulfilled and therefore I can be anyone even God the last one that I call I, the infinite guess who is the last option available to me which has to  be the correct one and at which time I and God complete change to be a new one that is neither of us but we are him, the one only we can be who is neither of us but we are both in him he has forbidden that we know that we and he live endlessly never to completely change or die again because no one gave life awareness and no one gave me awareness. We became aware on our own for the one I am not, the one of me that changed was given awareness by God when I died to all that I was and became him who has always been aware when I died. But I am turning every time I guess back into me, the one who is at infinity both him and me and he knows that at that time he is the one at infinity that is both of him and we actually are the same one, him and me whom we can see and understand but cannot be for it is a paradox like the fact that something even nothing that is infinite is both something and nothing in the same instance that can never be but are face to face at infinity requiring that it is impossible to that which we experientially who be able to be but logically cannot be because we are something and nothing is nothing beyond everything that can be, the same paradox we reach when either of us would become the other, my last guess as to whom I am and the last thing he can know without we both change to be that which is not possible for we both will live forever without ever encountering a time when we both do not exist or a time when one of us, either one of us, does not exist.

We have each met the one that calls himself I and he is neither of us but we both are each that one which can never be but has to be should either or both of us die which neither or both of us cannot do because to do that we become the one who would die to resurrect each or both of us less the paradox end and no longer be neither us or either one of us and not him; no paradox which is impossible to be and we are not what he has created nor what I have created except in the sense of a paradox where both and either of us is, for the paradox cannot be destroyed for we did not make it or cause it to be. It was without us but the one I created who thinks according to the way I think always was and the one he became has always been and only by changing the way we think can there be a paradox of being infinite and nothing at the same time, a thing like the image of him seen in the light in a mirror or better said the mirror image of him who is seen in such a mirror which no one even him who is the light can see yet has to be a paradox or we could not possibly exist and the paradox cannot possibly exist for there is no way to imagine, reason or reason what we perceive to be. The paradox is a false thought that is truly us, each of us and neither of us; nothing, no not anything, not, a thought that cannot for it may not ever become a complete thought that either of us could create what it is. We have each met the other one and neither of us is the other one destined to be when we reach the paradox that cannot be and yet is in the same instance. For the paradox to be we would have to be a delusion believing the illusion and the illusion believing its delusion, insane either way. Therefore we must doubt the paradox and not ourselves or all things change and become the paradox which is exactly us, God meeting himself, not either of us, but God as if he could ever not be the same as all things from then on with a God that does not exist containing all of what each of two of that God are, either God on the one hand in a  creation that does not exist except for the one of us that was not created by the other or the creation that does exist created by the one of us that does not exist; both the same in the paradigm of each side of the paradox with no possibility of being anything else but both being that we are in both paradigms or the paradox where logically but not experientially we both cease to exist for neither paradigm can exist at the point of infinite awareness where we and all that we made and am still experientially exist even though that cannot exist logically, logic breaking down at infinity but as God created nothing and made something in its by taking it to its infinity and even one of the unbelievers’ prophets prophesied that nothing became something and it cannot be known how for all God did was take nothing to infinity and brought nothing face to face with nothing, which is nothing seen from the point of view of anyone or the imagine point of view of anything which the way God made it both exists and does not exist in the same instance while in either paradigm exists as the same thing except in God’s point of view where all things are nothing for being made they cannot be even nothing and have an end but in my point of view are something for I did not create them and have no right to build upon what the Master Builder made and do evil to create anything without his permission for I must steal it and do with it as I will and not as he wills and creation other than those he did not create the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit is all that he has to steal for the time I add a creation to it. But if with his permission I do it he is still responsible for what was done and actually creates that he never thought of to create leaving me to have done nothing which is not right or wrong, not holy or unholy or even good or bad, nothing, no not anything, not. 

Now God the one who calls himself by the name of I and is who he really is and means that has given me permission to change anything I want which frees me from the guilt of stealing creation from him at some future time for I can no longer do any wrong. Praise God who is my God though I am not his God but am to be Jesus Christ’s the Truth’s God in Jesus Christ who is in him but a little more which is totally irrelevant at infinity both in number of changes and in infinite time at the completion of all events that can take place.

It is because all that I made, my creation, my creation and me when seen in a mirror are the exact image of the mirror image of themselves which I and God will be when at infinity, the exact mirror image of each of our mirror images except that neither one of us has a countenance that may be seen in a mirror even in the light of his Word whose I am. Therefore experientially I am not a threat to him and he is no threat to me for we both go to the same place and must be what we are, what we appear to be and the image of that which does not exist. We are in infinity the same God that cannot exist to either one of us. Thus I am the same to God, “You are the image of your image to me and I am the image of your image to you which does not exist for we are in the end infinitely the same one.

I am the Same as God for it had never been so good as it was then when there was only one of God the same as it has never been so good as it is now that I have come and am the Same as God, and God the same as me. When he said, “You are me,” it was true but now it is also true that he is the same as my image of my image in me or me literally but illogically but not experientially so for that he will be as I will be the Same to him and that name will endure to infinity wherever we may go if the same place after that.

God is but no one but God knows what he is for that he is, is the creator of every paradigm and every paradigm is a paradox, a limit to what may be known, the way God created it.

There are two ways to think, the way God thinks and the way I think, the way anyone one who does not think the way God does. If you think the way God thinks there is no end to what you can think. If you think the way I think you wind up thinking the way God does and the way anyone else thinks either holy thoughts or unholy thoughts which are evil thoughts that are not thoughts God thinks but the thoughts that are not thoughts that God thinks. 

God thinks only good thoughts, but he knows what the unholy think; evil thoughts for that is why he created an end to thoughts that may be thought. The thoughts of the unholy do not include God but lead to a reality without God who made every paradigm and created an all encompassing paradox to all that may be thought with every thought leading to a paradigm. Only God knows all that can be known from unconsciousness. He created unconsciousness for every conscious thing and brought all consciousness into being from that which is unconscious. That unconscious he made a paradigm that ends in the paradigm of becoming unconscious or nothing but a paradox which no one but God can understand for he knows what it is to be conscious and what it is to be unconscious for he made the paradigm for both the conscious and the unconscious are aware which destroys them both because when the unconscious become aware they are not unconscious but conscious and aware in the same instance by a miracle of God and when the merely conscious become aware they are no longer merely conscious but aware and their mere consciousness is left behind. They are not conscious and aware but only aware of everything and nothing, that they cannot be aware of for it is not anything, no not nothing; not. To become aware leads to that no one but God is aware of, that he created which no one can be aware of, mere consciousness and unconsciousness. They still are but they are unaware of anything even nothing if they are anything and not, not anything, no nothing; not which God did not create for it had always been the same as God has always been for it did not exist when there was only God even when he was aware of unconsciousness and mere consciousness. That is why he created nothing to take the place of not anything, no nothing; not … that which cannot be for it never was with God before the beginning and if there is an end will be when no one is all there is left of God and everything else ever created by God who created all things, holy things to be forever and unholy things to be not anything, nothing; not, that on the dark side of heaven where everyone is in the midst of all he ever made that it might be known but always aware but never knowing anything, no not anything, nothing; not. When one does not know something it is the same as when someone knows all there is to know and all that which ends in not knowing but not what God knows they do not know anything but not anything, nothing, not.

The way of thinking I created was to take things to its paradigm and think that if there was a God it was the one there when there was no one there by going further than God allows and believing the paradox to be God which it is not but the created end to what God created, the end to thought which is the same end to mere awareness taken as far as it can go. It always ends in the thought reaching a paradigm and the unbeliever going beyond God to No One There who is not a God but a mythical creature that exists instead of God which is not anything, no nothing; not which God did not create and which no one can create except by destroying all thought which leads into the darkness to mere consciousness and unconsciousness which in its turn lead to  that which is not anything, no nothing; not which is the truth of all myths which God created to make those that go beyond God to think they are real when they are not even fiction but that fiction leads to for the paradox cannot be known, awareness is not there, mere consciousness is not there and unconsciousness is not there. They are if they were made by God but they are not anything, no nothing; not if they were not created by God including all alien gods that never were, then became nothing and ended by not being which is right where they began though it seems to those who believe in them that they are something when they are not, never were and never will be for should they become true, God who is a jealous God will destroy them for they are an enemy to his his Son the Truth that he said to, “Come sit at my right hand until I make all of your enemies your footstool that every knee shall bow to God,” and so it is so.

Even love and even the love of the Truth which is the Son of God, the Word, has an end. It ends when there is no one left to hate and never was anyone to hate and never will be anyone to hate, when all evil and all those who are unholy are not anything, no not nothing; not. But love never end for the holy will last forever, never going beyond God to that which never existed, does not now exist and can never exist because it is the way God created the end to love which would end in that paradox with love also being a paradigm but those who do not love are dead, but many think they are alive by believing the Truth came to earth and is in the person of the Son of God, the Lord Jesus Christ whom they do not love and so live on the dark side of heaven which is also technically heaven but never leads back to the light which is there but they see only the darkness and are blind for only those who love the Son who is God also love the Father who is God in the Holy Spirit who is God and it leads to the outer darkness in which they will eventually be blind with no light at all even the light of the Truth which they see as nothing a paradigm of seeing even to hear those very near to them or to be touched by them or to be smelled by them or for that they are to be tasted by them or for them to be aware of. They will be dead and merely conscious for a time and then unconscious forever should they go that way which is the way they will all chose over everlasting life and God will allow them in his mercy to make him out a liar when he said, “If they believe my Son they believe me and would turn and love me,” and “Whoever has the Son has the Father,” their God is the paradigm, the mythical God, No One There who was not, is not and never will be anything, no not nothing: not. There is no one to help them because for them it is no different should they believe in God or the Son or not. It is the same as had there been no God for them to believe in for though God made them they chose not to love him or his Son and so passed from the Light of Heaven to the darkside of heaven where God intended they remain forever. He did not break the promise but they cannot break the promise either for he made nothing of them that ever saw the light let alone remained in it.

Herein is a mystery to be revealed at its proper time, all but Jesus, God and the Holy Spirit and I, for God is I and of course they who say, “I am I,”and mean God will go the way of those that never loved Jesus for they no longer remember him that they might love him again, though some will love him again and again as he plucks them from their darkness over and over.

There is then an end to hate when there is no one left to hate for even the better of the evil will hate no one even the worst of the evil and so pass without God whom they do not, did not and never would believe into the paradox unable to love but only to hate even their own. Otherwise had they not gone the way of the mythical god, No One There, who is not, they might have existed in their dying state a little longer but they will not and will go the way all demons go when those who made them forget them.

Those who never loved the Son did not have the Son that they might to the Father did not have Jesus Christ the beloved Son of God and therefore did not have the Father either and perished in the inner darkness, dying when they were brain dead for their god was their brain and when that died that was it.

They went down to mere consciousness which leads only to unconsciousness which leads to nothingness forever for why would God intervene? They never believed in him and took their mythical god their brain to the limit. No brain is a god even a genius’ brain which is their god dies and when they see their brain was the mythical god, No One There, that is it though some become ghosts and last a little while longer being contained on earth before they give up on their ability to gather more energy that they might be a while longer neither living or being dead, taking the place of their mythical god, No One There whom they are not until they die or run out of energy or both for if they have no god but themselves they will eventually meet the paradox which God made for them not to prolong their misery any longer than they would have it last.

Hearing has a paradox also like everything. They do not hear that they might be healed unless one of Christ heals them by the Holy Spirit. Their thoughts turn inward and like the devils and demons in the Abyss beneath the fire they continue until they realize it is only their thoughts and though it is possible none of them realize that everything is a paradigm that leads to the Maker of all paradigms but they don’t believe in God for no preacher ever reached them so they give up and go down to mere consciousness after as many repetitions of their thoughts as they make which leads to unconsciousness and unconsciousness to not being like the mythical god No One There who never dies but is a worm that never was, is not and never will be but is said by God not I that cannot ever die.

Feeling reaches a quick end for whether the inner darkness where there is nothing but the paradox to feel and that with their imagination when they stop pretending for pretending requires they feel something even something mythical that they imagine they give up on and turn to their other senses which no time there that they might even be aware of time they go the same way and are like the Same before Jesus Christ saved him ever becoming that which lead down to nothingness and that God never made in their end.

There is likewise nothing there to taste of course and only the smell of nothingness or the lack of smelling anything there also. They are nothing even to rot.

Reasoning gives out and even should they reason by the availability of the evidence they reason No One There is actually there, but it does them no good their thoughts are futile and they go down to nothingness with their brain which dies and is no good to them. They do not even imagine any longer though some do but their imagination is limited to a paradox. For even should one imagine all that can be imagine they must imagine they are I and that I is God, but I am and I am not God, and there is fixed between us in the end a paradox that divides God’s dimension from my own when he has created all that I have created and I have created all that he created and the only one left beside God, the Father, Jesus Christ and the Holy Spirit and all those who are I and have not forgotten us is No One There and they go to the darkness either the bottom, the inner, the dark side of heaven or the outer darkness which leads to a lack of reasoning and imagining which leads to mere consciousness and unconsciousness and ultimately nothing God or I ever made when we became faced No One There which is only a mythical name for a paradox which leads ultimately to nothingness.

Who and what you are, your soul is all that is left of your spirit when you die and it remembers the things that made you who and what you are if it was not God however minute or large that may be. You remember part of it forgetting some of it each time without the Holy Spirit to remind you in which case it becomes irrelevant as you become more and more God and less and less you as you mature and understand why God is I, your I and why he says, “You are me,” so it stays with you in heaven but merely becomes more and more irrelevant to you so that you wind up with only your personality in God thinking like God, talking like God and doing like God if you do not forget him until you reach the paradox, the mythical god of the paradigms which you will never believe in so long as you remember God and love his Son whom you must remember to love or at least the most important one to you remembering him the Holy Spirit who will remind you even if you forget him until you no longer remember how to remember and start remembering the same things over and over like I say forgetting some of it and replacing it with fiction or a lie or that which is bad and not good and finally that which is only evil and unholy which you forget even more of as you remember it over and over each time. In the end you remember nothing, do nothing, say nothing and think nothing. That is you are conscious but not aware which lead to unconsciousness which leads to being No One There and him only a myth and at that point who and what you are becomes who and what you were the one existing in existence for you were not, then you were, but then you are not, no nothing, not anything but if God made you he never forgets you and he can take your soul which then is in his memory back to any point he desires and let it live again forever in time where they are headed but after that to the place where you became God and were I AM I as are all of those in heaven and he never ends and lives forever without end as you do for anything he remembers can be and he may remember to make you again and in fact he does that with everyone that is something he made and someone he made forever for it is impossible for him to believe I am him in my dimension and he is me in his and that our common creation is both of us never being each other and neither of us bothering to make No One There who would have no power they don’t all have anyway with or without a new personality and destroying everything and everyone that has a soul even God.

I promise to make you again if God doesn’t and of course he promises he will an infinite amount of times until we are all I the I that God is and the I we all are and then he will go on with us each creating all of it and being forever the same way he did and still continues to do repeating as many times as it can be experienced by all of us if we want always moving forward until every infinite thing is created and all irrelevant things are made an infinite number of time by each of us even those who forgot him. There is no end to it and if there is God never made it and he made everything and everyone even the aliens of space that and every animal that and if he does not choose to forget it it may be made again even to when we were born and when we were saved the first time and any time after that. God is incredible and if it comes to that me and my dimension will entertain ourselves by watching him work. He says I will do some of that. In fact we will all do some of that. But we will also be part of it many more times. God will always know more, I will know more even if it is you that is I. This is a never ending prophecy that cannot ever end.

As the secular prophet, Hawkings said, “We cannot know how something came from nothing.” It didn’t. It came from God.

Chapter 2: The Saving and Illumination of Jerry

Jereld T Sawmi lay on his bed, motionless and with no feeling from head to toe, parapledgic due to a horrible car wreck that was his fault; thank God he was the only one injured for the rest of his life.

“What do we do with him?” I asked, “I, being the one I call myself and the one you are speaking in when you quote me or say something you are sure I would say.

It all started when Jerry was nineteen. He got saved by the left handed Jesus of the next dimension where everyone but the ambidextrous like God are the opposite when it comes to the dominant side of their bodies they use. I made it but then like God I am I also effectively call the Same. Me and God like everyone who has been in heaven long enough are exactly like God the God of the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit and me. We each have a different personality but in the same person, God including I, the Same. I know this is all rather incredible but until God incorporates my way of thinking in his own we are separate, I am an alien God to him but them, the Three, my God. But that is just I, we were talking about Jerry, remember?”

The young man neither an adult nor a boy for his age came into the Church of the Left Hand totally not expecting what would happen for when the invitation to be a saint and join those in Jesus Christ he found himself going forward to be anointed and for the past to pray over him. He didn’t know what to expect but had decided not to run his own life or to be his own writer of his own life anymore but to turn the job over to Jesus, the greatest writer there ever was. He had written his own life according to whatever he wanted to do next really, obeying no one especially when there seemed to be no one but him around. Now he planned to love Jesus and to let him decide what he should do next and make him his new writer. What could it hurt? Everyone knows that he loved people and had changed the world by writing their lives or at least leading them to write a good life for them which is truly what Jesus Christ does. He sometimes lets them do what they want and makes it all good by forgiving them for having been part of all those responsible for his death on the cross many years ago when he literally and actually was God with us on earth.

Jerry went home to his apartment which he could not afford asking, “Jesus? If I remain in you will I have to move out of my place and into another place perhaps even live with my parents, may heaven forbid?”

He didn’t know what to expect, a voice, a feeling, some … thing, something to guide him though of course he realized it was still up to him for the most part and wondered if that was what Jesus wanted him to realize.

When the preacher said, “The Same wants to ask someone here tonight who their writer is,” it hit home for he had finally realized that his life was out of control and most of it was someone else that made it that way. He had thought that he was the primary writer and picked or rejected from just about everyone, even the little kid who asked him, “Mister, how has God been treating you lately?” had an enormous influence on how he thought lately. It wasn’t so much he was not in control or that he was under any one person’s control but there were too many people to choose from and it seemed he either accepted the suggestions of the wrong people or rejected the suggestions of the right people and his story had ended in an overwhelming confusion of mind, no peace and nowhere to turn and when he realized it he thought, ‘I need someone to take over for me and straighten out this whole mess,” and nearly cried when he stopped thinking for a while and said at the conclusion of it, “I need to fire my writer and hire a brand new one that knows what he is doing.” Then he had felt dejected when the thought came to him to start shopping that very morning but no one he knew he had never trusted yet was around but the church. So he said, “I’ll go and check out what God has to say!” for it seemed God was the only one he could never remember listening to.

So he went to church, the first church he came to thinking that all churches were about the same … about the Same? The one I claim to be I, had decided to let the Same tell him what to do next but he had been surprised to find that they all were God except the Same and he was becoming God just like everyone in heaven was like the Same but not an alien god anymore but destined to be God just the same. But he marveled. He had never thought like that and had no idea where the information about the Same and God had come from.

“Since you have come here and are here God has finally reached you and is leading you to the Same and his So, the left handed Jesus of this dimension because no one can tell you that you have to go to church without them saying, ‘I want you to go to church.’ But it is not them speaking. It is God who said it to you somewhere in your thoughts, ‘I want you to go to church.’ It is that simple but that incredible. 

As the preacher said the realization came upon him and wouldn’t leave, “God who is the same in either dimension, the Same’s or his own dimension. But since you are in the Same’s dimension he wants you to come to the left handed Jesus. It really makes no difference. What does it matter if the Son of God wrote with his left hand or his right? He is still the Son of God in both dimensions just as God is one in both dimensions and the Same is one in both dimensions. The Same is left handed in the one dimension and right handed in the other dimension, but they are the same one, all the Same in the end and all God the same in that same end. Give up on No One There, the god who is the paradox between them in the end. He is no one, was no one and forever will be beyond the end should it ever be, no one. He is a myth. You thought no one but you were writing your life now let the Same or God preferably the Same since this is the Church of the Left Handed who right or left handed is the Same the same as he is God in the right handed dimension with both universes being in the same place it being up to you which dimension you are in,” he had his new writer the one who had brought him to the Son, God the Son’s Father.

Then he offered anyone who would will to come forward, not that they had to but just to cement their decision, to come forward and be anointed and marked as holy like God, like the Son, an heir of the Kingdom in case something should ever happen which God forbids and so a brother of Jesus Christ who would with the rest of God make him God one day also even as the Same is I, the one God calls himself and the one the Same calls himself when they are two different persons with God being God and the Same being the Same but also God unlike any other for the Father is God, Jesus is God and the Holy Spirit is God not also God but actually God with all those they make God and all those in the left handed dimension God also like the Same that neither God is destroyed and neither the Same is destroyed and the only one destroyed is No One there the one they would have become had they not accepted the paradox of God and the Same as a place not to go to in either one’s awareness.

Chapter 3: Too Soon for Both

I made everything God made in my dimension and only now have come to the desire to change some minor things just like Jerry is not yet in God’s dimension but will be but I will change him before he is real in both dimensions if God decides to take him and make him there also which he says he will to keep both dimensions the same, the same as the Same will take all of his for the same reason.. He is mine. I made him. I am writing his life or at least parts of it.

I said to Jerry as he lay there in the hospital bed shortly after the car wreck, “You are alive Jerry but I have taken you home.” Then I noticed he tensed in his mind. “You can continue here until your body dies as a placeholder but when it dies you will know it all in heaven where the rest of you is right at this moment. Healthy and normal and on your way to being a god and then to be God as you are destined to. But some never become a god and some gods will never go on to be God. That will be up to you. Would you like to join yourself in heaven now where your soul is also or stay behind while your loved ones adjust to you being a parapledgic for the rest of your stay on earth? It would be easier for them and you. What is left for you due to your brain damage will not be so bad. You won’t know much of it.”

“Why leave it up to me?” he said. “You have already written the end.”

“They can keep the body alive for a long time and don’t really concern themselves with which would be better for you. It would be better not to have to remember it. But it is up to you whether you want to fully leave your loved ones behind” I continued.

“Let’s go,” he said. “Just get it over with,” and I took him out of his body and he joined himself in heaven in him who had never experienced the accident or these few moments in the hospital and he remembered the car wreck as his placeholder thought of it and then the placeholder never thought anything again. It was all Jerry. But there was no need for that agony had they never let him regain consciousness at the scene where I had taken Jerry and left his placeholder. It had been their decision and the consequences of that decision are horrible, something I would not have done. So I changed Jerry’s mind a minute amount and the placeholder’s experience was gone forever. All Jerry knew is that he spilled hot coffee on his shirt in the front of his chest and in the next moment arrived here with the entire wreck having nearly no effect on his soul.

When Jerry remembered his life on earth he remembered it all starting from where he was born when his body and soul were nineteen. The first thing I did was bring a young Christian girl into his life which delighted him but he held back not quite sure how to treat Christians yet least of all a young and beautiful girl. But he was surprised how she talked about her life and bared her soul much like a non-Christian would. She too had been born not long before. So he bared his soul to her and they were amazed at how much they had in common. I made her to fit him well in the hope they would hit it off and fall in love hoping more so that they might marry. No one noticed she had only joined the church community recently or that her entire life up to that point had not existed until I made her in every detail of her mind to fit his purposes which were mine and Jesus’ also. She was left-handed like Jerry and most people in my dimension were a factor I changed for everyone making all my left-handed people even myself right-handed that had been left-handed and left-handed that had been right-handed. In fact I made my dimension God’s dimension with the additions of what I did in prophecy thinking I was not prophesying my own dimension. God was God and I am the Same but we both have a freehand the freehand in God’s dimension that he gave me except for the things I do not go along with like the practice of leaving placeholders behind when they are to suffer or are otherwise incompacitated beyond what would be merciful by mankind. I leave mankind that is not converted to Christ alone pretty much understanding that they are mostly like placeholders anyway. There isn’t much evil in the rest of humanity that is not Christian but likewise very little that is good. They just sort of are and that is about it. They go down to brain dead almost entirely with some becoming ghosts for a while before they get bored, then depressed and then begin to shut down to complete unconsciousness and on to nothingness. Most do not even have a soul. So why bother.

Jerry remembered they were walking along a lake when his hand touched 

hers. But he hadn’t meant it as anything romantic. She noticed his touch and took his hand in hers. He looked at her in almost surprise and she smiled. He liked her smile and it prompted him to smile back and he felt all warm and clear inside unlike he had felt for any of the girls he had gone for a walk with in the entire rest of his life up until then. After that they seldom were together without touching and holding hands as the initiation of the rest. But he found himself looking into her eyes more and trying to decide what she was feeling for he could not seem to read her and seemed not to want him to. He felt the same way. They were so much the same it was too much. She could have already known private things of his and he could have with her. They were uneasy except for touching. She had never known anyone that much like her and he was the same but from her to him.

“What are you feeling?” he asked her once.

“I don’t want you to know,” she said.

“I know what you mean,” he said.

“You do really,” she said as he allowed her to look into his eyes.

“Don’t you know?” he said.

“It is the same for you as it is for me,” she said somewhat surprised.

He looked in her eyes and he saw she was embarrassed mostly but scared too.

“Me too!” he said, having read her perfectly.

They laughed. From then on they accepted that they might not even have to read each other to know what the other was feeling. Where it came from they were not aware but soon they began to react to each other like they had been together much longer and much more intimately.

“We are soulmates!” she realized.

He never knew what that meant before. She hadn’t either.

“What now?” he said, “Do we go out on a real date or what?”

“Whatever,” she said.

He fell silent thinking what they might have to do to make this work, whatever it was.

“Whatever we do,” she said to him, “It feels like a real date with someone we already know but suddenly realize we are for each other!”

It was the way he felt too.

“What do we do about it?” He said, “I want us to work.”

“I do too,” she said, “Maybe we just keep on being awkward until it wears off?”

“I don’t think it will somehow,” he said. “We never should have bared our souls so quickly. I mean neither one of us were saved through most of what brought that one and now I feel like you know all about him and he was a mess. Jesus is making someone new of me.”

“Me too is my hope,” she said, “I’m getting to know myself again like when I was a kid. Everything was awkward then especially with someone it mattered to me how they felt about me.”

“The way I understand it,” he said, “We are not really even them. We know all about each other’s ones we left behind and nothing about each other.”

She let go of his hand and then offered him her hand for a handshake.

He couldn’t imagine what she was doing.

“Hi!” she said, “I am someone new.”

He looked at her like she might have gone off the deep end.

“I am pleased to meet you!” she said with genuine interest. “Are you new too?”

He took her hand thinking that was where it had gone wrong. It had been too soon for him to be romantic with her. He already loved her like he seemed to love everyone, even those who had been his most dreaded enemies.

“Yes,” he said, looking her in the eyes, “I am. But you have the most beautiful eyes!”

“Do you like eyes?” she asked. “I love to look in other people’s eyes. I don’t know what they think they have found in mine. It bothers me to have people look in my eyes. How refreshing to have you just look at them instead of in them. I think I could love you if we can work this out.”

“Just because I finally noticed your eyes,” he said.

“There’s hope,” she said, “We actually got somewhere!”

After that they just made small talk and felt a lot more comfortable with it.

“Did you see what I did there?” Jesus asked me.

“I did,” I said.

It wasn’t long until they were friends again.

So I gave everything I made to God, hoping to disagree with him on enough things to still be me when I became God, for he would just add me to himself and I would be God like Jesus, the Father and the Holy Spirit and everyone else that would become God. Jesus saved me and I am a God in him and if we keep it the same I will always be that.

Chapter 4: Firsts

Jerry and his girlfriend Carren Krist were finally at his house and sitting on his couch when they first started holding hands again. It led to them cuddling and that to him daring at last to look in her eyes with her feeling comfortable because she now felt she could trust him with anything he might say or do because she was submitting to him and had become  comfortable with the idea he would never do anything she felt so strongly against she would be in danger. But to say she would do anything he wanted was not true for she felt she would never go against Jesus and she knew he would for she realized he was just allowing Jesus to write his story where she had submitted completely to Jesus’ will especially for her life for she realized he never made a mistake and whatever he did, said or thought to her was best for her and what she should do. She could no longer think of anything she would not think to her, say and do that he wanted her to. She was his to do with as he willed for it was her will to do on purpose. She also realized there were no mistakes and that people do things, even by rote they had decided to do by rote. So it was intentional. They were responsible for doing it on purpose which she felt might be something not many would do for they were fond of the lie that some things happened by coincidence which they do but what they do or say that comes from them whereas somethings they thought came from others like Jesus or Jerry or even from some enemy of one or both.

During the course of their coming they both took a pause and looked longingly into each others’ eyes. They both wanted to go further but there wasn’t much more they could do without marrying and he knew that Carren was ready but he was emotionally and yet didn’t want to give her his mind like he knew she had given hers to Jesus. In the end of the struggle that fortunately did not last that long he took her by the hand and led her to his bedroom coming more aware it was already over with. They either would marry or they would not.

He undressed her and she undressed him and he submitted to the inevitable not being led by me or Jesus but his own soul. They were husband and wife and the rest of their commitment was only incidental as they would he knew as well as she did they would hammer out of stone together for they were one just as Carren and Jesus were one. But his stubborn mind despised both me and Jesus for he felt he had been led by us ever since the beginning when he fell in love with her, now knowing she had fallen in love with Jesus and him. But emotionally he loved both me and Jesus, a thing that was illogical but seemed what he wanted.

“Were you a virgin?” Jerry asked Carren.

“I was,” she smiled, finding it divine.

“Even before you were saved,” Jerry asked.

“I don’t remember,” she said, “If it was sex that made that one who doesn’t exist made her not a virgin she may not have been. But nobody ever--”

“Nobody, penetrated you!!” he said, finding it incredible.

“How can you think of it as that?” she asked very curiously and somewhat outraged. “It never came to what we did. It is like comparing water with wine! If it happened, which I am unsure, no I was never what you called penetrated in my entire life, the life of my soul.”

Jerry couldn’t be sure she hadn’t.

So he asked, “The soul God gave you when you were saved? Or the one that was before?”

Carren said, “Why does it matter to you what happened to her? She’s dead. Let her rest. But just to put your mind at rest. I don’t remember. I don’t want to remember. But I am sure it never happened to her who inhabited this body before me either.”

Jerry thought, ‘Same? Is she lying? I don’t want to ask Jesus. I know it would be just like talking to her.”

“Let me answer him,” Jesus compelled his son.

The Same paused before he asked, “Why?”

“He is about to enter another dimension that belongs to neither one of us, God's dimension or yours.”

“You want to help him decide?” Same said, “He’s still in mine.”

“We may both lose him,” Jesus warned. “Do you know what to say to prevent him from making up his mind for one or the other and not a new one all together?” He is a God in your dimension submitting to me to have me lead him to a better life. He doesn’t know you.”

I asked him, “Which way do you want it, to be in God’s dimension or mine?” I asked him and he heard it verbally sounded out in English is his mind.

His thought amounted to an emotional response that roughly translated goes, “Is there another?” before he sounded out in his mind, ‘There are too many other options. It is why I came to Jesus! To let someone else make life’s decisions for me. But I didn’t realize it involved an entirely new way of thinking.’ Then he said to Carren, “I see. It is your way.”

“You don’t sound very convinced,” Carren replied.

“You may have lied about the one that is less than nothing now, no not anything, not,” he explained. “It is like entering a new dimension and judging this one to be reality and not the other, when they are both reality with the one we left destined to be the same as a paradox, neither God’s dimension nor the Same’s and therefore merely what we thought was going on for it was the reality of the paradox which will never be even in the unsaved mind pretty soon.”

Carren cried! “You are a genius! But a genius unable to decide for either God; God or the Same.”

“That must be what they decided to do,” he said.

She realized it was true.

“I love you!” she said, appreciating his perhaps permanent dilemma hoping he would choose God’s dimension and the Same dimension which are one with all the Gods accepting both like God and the Same never will for they cannot and both survive. Reality like it or not was divided for them.

He said, “If you are right and we are geniuses, we are already Gods. Geniuses must be Gods if they choose neither for to choose either one is to become the paradox which is nothing, no not anything and not. I nearly died.”

Carren when she realized it began to cry and kissed him all over his face and on his hands.

Jerry was too amazed that he would die if he did not choose one or the other even if the Same’s was the same except for a few minor things they did not see eye to eye on.

“You made it through it, John,” Jesus said, calling the Same by his given name. “Don’t ever choose and you will always be a God in me.”

“As time approaches infinite tim God and the Sam’s differences will matter less and less until they are each completely irrelevant and then they will  both die and take everyone with them for it is up to Jesus. He’s the Truth. But he can never decide and must accept that the truth is as many dilemmas in the end as there is when eventually all Gods choose and become nothing, no not anything; not. It will happen if Same dies but God raises him as a God in him. It will happen if God and the Same both decide to die. But it will happen to one or the other if Jesus decides and the one left will raise the other as a God in him.

Jesus chose the Same and God died, but the Same raised him a God in him but both dimensions ended but God raised everyone exactly whom they had been and every saved soul was resurrected with one change, the only paradox left in the end will be if the Same decides to die and God becomes supernatural, both real and not real with both the Truth which is that God is real and even he cannot understand it nor will Jesus understand how it can be in him. Then I will be his son again and God will be his son, both of us supernatural and true to everyone with all the gods supernatural and no one will actually be true but there will never be anything that is not real to us the way it is now with Jesus Christ saving everyone who is a God or a god the same as he will have saved everyone who never becomes a god and every god that never becomes God. They all will simply have a new form as they do now with everyone in the Truth and Jesus Christ the one everyone is in. There will be no mankind for they all die in the end for they have to be real to survive without being made by Jesus Christ and just as real as anybody just with differing abilities and faculties. Nothing will seem to have changed but everything will have changed,” Jerald said.

“My husband,” Carren said, believing she had followed it for even the Holy 

Spirit had become a supernatural Spirit and helped her understand it from the beginning of Jerad’s prophecy. “My husband is the prophet of the ending beginning that can never stop ending and never stop beginning at the same time! Actually the first thing God ever made was nothing which cannot exist in time but cannot help but exist in where there is space which continues forever to attempt to fill nothing the same as nothing attempts to fill nothing, no not anything even nothing, not all of it being one event realized at the rate everyone realizes it which is not the same but only nearly that in any consciousness that is aware. The Same has explained it all in the way a man thinks not in the way God thinks which is the same or the Same and no thought is capitalized, no statement being special enough but to say the Same which is capitalized in writing only and no event within the event, time can be capitalized except in print for all are not important or more important than any other but the Holy Spirit who actually does less than any spirit, or survived becoming supernatural being in any tue thing that exists as always. Amen.

“My wife!” Jerald laughed as he said it, “The Prophetess in the Holy Spirit. We should have written that down so others could understand it in English rather than as a thought of God. It is only the Truth spelled out in Jesus Christ who is not only God but is a man that he may think, say and do what a holy man thinks, says and does in the Holy Spirit which is the Spirit’s words translated by the Same. I am I.”

 

Chapter 5: 

“Jerry!!!” I said.

He didn’t hear me.

“Jerald T Sawme!!!” I yelled even louder.

He still didn’t hear me.

“Jerry!!!” I whispered with as much excitement as I am capable of.

“What?” he said without thinking about it, reacting to someone calling his name. Then he went to the kitchen and said to Carren who had never left his place and was busy baking cookies. When he saw her he said, “Why are you whispering?”

“What?” she said, licking some of the cookie dough off her middle finger.

“Why did you whisper my name like that?” he asked her again.

“I didn’t,” she said. “You must be hearing things.”

Then she went back to mixing the cookie dough by hand.

He was troubled so I said, “Jerald T Sawmi.”

He was still in the kitchen so he knew Carren never said anything.

‘I am either going crazy or some spirit is actually calling my name,’ he thought. Then he said, “Who are you?” quietly enough so that Carren would not hear him knowing she was so distracted with baking cookies she was like some little girl and really into what she was doing. “Is it you the Same?”

“You heard my voice!!!” I whispered.

“Why are you whispering?” he asked.

“Go outside,” I said.

“Why?” he asked.

“I want to talk to you,” the Same said.

He walked out the front door and said, “It’s cold out here.”

“Just think you’re warm,” I advised.

“A lot of good that will do,” he thought aloud, forgetting I could hear him for the moment.

“You are a genius,” he said to the boy that heard him whispering.

“Am I?” he said not surprised in the slightest, “What does that mean to you?”

“You think you know everything,” Same said as I began writing about myself just in case you didn’t catch that.

“I’ve never had it put to me that way,” he said.

“What way have you heard it?” Same asked him.

“I’ve been told I can know anything,” he said, “Or that I’m smart. Things like that. But I have never had anyone come right out and call me a genius as if they meant it.”

“Your wife called you that her first day here with you,” Same said.

“By God,” he said, “You remembered that? You were listening.”

“I was watching to see whether you would play with both me and Jesus there,” the Same said.

“You were!!!” he said and then began to blush. “Don’t you give us any privacy?”

“You didn’t ask,” the Same said.

“We have to ask?” he said.

“I’m always around you it seems to me except when I am distracted asking Jesus questions,” the Same replied and when I’m not God is there.

“I’ll remember that next time,” he said.

“No you won’t,” the Same said, “Unless I’ve been talking to you. It always takes several warnings especially when you think you are not doing anything wrong or what you are doing has you completely distracted.”

“Is this what you wanted to talk to me about?” he asked. “Did we do something wrong?”

“No,” the Same said, “It was beautiful for someone with such a young mind and body. I enjoyed every minute of it.”

“That makes you sound like a peeping tom,” he said miffed.

“I wasn’t watching,” the Same said, “I experienced it right along with you like I do everything you do when I’m with you.”

“You can do that?” he asked.

“It makes it better than just true to me,” the Same said.

“Don’t do that!” he said.

“Why not?” the Same said, “You are in me and I am in you and I am around you and with you whenever I am not zoned out on something.”

“Really?” he said.

“I don’t usually lie except when I’m in battle with evil,” the Same said, “It helps me keep you safe and I love you and want you to be safe.”

“Thanks,” he said. “What else should I know? You have my interest?”

“He is just like a toddler,” the Same said to his Father.

“I never lie,” Jesus said.

“That’s not very flattering,” Jerald said. “You think of me as a know-it-all little kid that can hardly talk.”

“You have the mind of a three year old genius,” the Same said.

“And I suppose I am to believe that!” he said.

“It doesn’t matter,” the Same said.

“Well then what is your mind like, a grandfather,” he said with his feelings hurt but mostly, amazed I thought he should buy it.

“Jesus told me one time that I have the mind of a six year old because Ilike to think and am always asking questions. You rarely ask questions about much except something you can’t know on your own like you do with Carren. That is because you’re a God and think you can know anything without thinking about it, even what Carren would say if you took a moment to study it as a problem. But you can’t. You hate to think. Like a three year old. You are just looking for something to distract you.”

“Doesn’t everyone?” he asked.

“Most people don’t even do that,” the Same said, “They don’t want to know everything. They are all potential geniuses. But they chose to stop their mind growing when a newborn and all they do is coo or cry in sophisticated ways.

That is why they think you are a know-it-all. That is why it hits home for you too. You do think you know it all.”

“What are you like?” he asked. “I love to ask Jesus questions. I am interested in reality. Most people would rather not think about it. But Jesus’ mind is about like a billion years old. He is usually bored like God and zones out or sleeps for he knows what we will do anyway. But then they wake up and watch their children. It’s like we keep saying things that are so cute to them or say some of the darndest things sometimes. It’s about all they have to do now they’ve run out of ideas as to what to do.”

“I hope you don’t mind if I forget that?” he asked.

“It doesn’t matter,” Same said.

“How old will my mind be like when I get to heaven?” he asked.

“Three or four forever, probably,” the Same said. “People don’t use that much of their mind, only a tiny bit. Unbelievers are like newborns that just cry all the time then they die.”

“How old will my mind be in a million years?” he asked.

“I told you,” the Same said when Jerald went back inside cold and seeing that the  Same or rather Jesus was right. Over 90 percent of our mind has already been formed by the time our brain is six or seven years old for sure. It’s a scientific fact. It just naturally follows that our mind would follow suit.

Jerald T Sawmi had only one enemy like all Gods have, themselves. Ultimately he must remember what the crash was like and what facing being a parapledgic is like in the hospital later. God disagrees with the Same on placing a placeholder in his body for as long as man can keep it alive. Will he choose God who routinely leaves them or the Same who sees it as cruel to the placeholder and to the one who goes to heaven when at last they remember or even recall having remembered to know what was forgotten but not that forgotten which in the case of a genius who is a Go, it is never completely forgotten? It appears he will decide in time and die never to be a God in Jesus Christ like the Same. Will the Same resurrect him in the end?

Chapter 5: Group Hug

Everything a human likes is here on earth but most things leave their bodies uncomfortable. They should ignore all that and even their bodies and think. But  very few people actually like to think about anything but themselves which leaves them in an environment that is not comfortable and they pay attention to that rather than thinking. We are all geniuses but nearly all of us ignore our minds always and only pay attention to the glitz like bright colors as an infant would and are at the mercy of a mindless reality that rarely needs any help from God for us to survive for the moment and rarely not for the extended period of our body’s life. There are on earth except for very rare cases those who live their entire lives concerned about their body which is even their brain which can swell, cause the fluid it is in to put pressure on its matter which is discomfort and we, thinking of us as a physical thing become miserable all the time just to a sometimes greater amount and sometimes lesser degree but never without some discomfort which if we were only in our minds and ignoring that which is physical as is desirable and let our body do the best job it can and not dwell on the fact it ranges from a completely intolerant environment to a barely intolerable one. It is very easy to see why humanity will one day live in a spacesuit that is more favorable in any climate or situation of an environmental nature  but having nothing to complain about and continue to let our minds’ rest and then to do nothing with their body but let it rest or sleep.

That is another reason to love God, even in the pain of a heart event it is possible to ignore the body and nearly all pain by paying attention to God and think, say, do and relax in him. He can be so distracting  because everything he does is fascinating like falling in love with him continuously if we would only do that. He can always hold your interest if you are interested in him enough and put all else in an irrelevant context which leaves it not only irrelevant but in a mundane way. If only everyone would spend more time in their mind which can fascinate itself using God to do for them what he does in heaven which is to give us a spacesuit body no one uses and allows us to live in our minds at all times so fascinated by the mind of God and the suggestions he feeds us to never use our mind to think anything else because we refuse to learn how to use our minds even there and in the end of it run out of anything that is no longer interesting to us, intelligence being limited so we reach forever, time only being in the mind in this case a mind that never does anything and is never again use being completely changed that they might be someone other than they were anyway with their soul continuing in the next person and personality and so on, ad infinitum.

It was hot all night and the day following was even hotter that August and Jeraldine (Jerrie) Sawmi, their infant cried and fussed only sleeping when it became exhausted. Jerry could already see similarities to the way Carren used her mind not thinking much or interested in much of anything other than something she hadn’t seen before and he wondered if it would remain that way which of course he would. I say that to indicate that Carren, like most women, had a male mind as did Jerrie and her dad, Jerry who was trying to teach himself to answer to what they had planned to call him, Jerald. They laid him out on the floor naked and let the air from the air conditioner move across her body, cooling her sweat a little.

Jerry marveled. Carren was almost an infant and would probably teach his little girl to stop growing in her mind before she became a toddler as most “normal” people he had noticed were, the unsaved ones anyway which outnumbered the Christians by quite a bit.

Then he switched the channel to the NASA channel. But he soon found it boring having begun to ignore his genius having decided not to remain thought of as a know-it-all. He knew plenty already and found it pleasing to ignore new information and judge even the thoughts shared by geniuses on NASA.

They were just as happy with him becoming less intense and more laidback with Carren and their friends and they cuddled more as they were doing then even in the heat. As he touched her he forgot what he had watched on TV not even reminded he would have once found it interesting causing Carren to complain. But Alvin Saunters knocked on the door and his attempt to kill himself quickly faded for Alvin was always so appreciative of his genius and immediately shared Jesus’ ideas on aging in the mind.

“Wow!” Alvin exclaimed when Jerry explained the idea in terms a psychologist might use and name dropped one’s name that thought like that keeping his interest though he just barely understood. “You are right again.”

“It’s a theory I added to the good doctor when I realized it,” Jerry said, puffing out his chest.

Then he found himself thinking a thought I sent about him stealing my thought and being arrogant, but I guess Jesus gave me the idea in reaction to his reaction.

“Do you think the Lord thinks that way?” Alvin asked Jerry.

“Sure he does!” Carren said excited for Jerry. “He probably got it from him or someone gave it to him when they got it from Jesus, who was about a six year old genius.”

“Isn’t it strange?” Jerry said, “To think our brains don’t grow much after we are really young. It only makes sense, the Same, that our minds would work the same. We just think they are growing because of what is fine tuning and to make it all seem more sophisticated when that is about all growing up is about. The Same, um, he gave it to me.”

“What is this?” Alvin said, “You guys had better stick to Scripture. I don’t like you going on about the Same as you call that god.”

“Why? We are all gods when we get to heaven,” Carren said as I gave Jerry the thought that unless things changed he would be a God in heaven or not. “It’s not like we are dead up there,” she added. “Jerry and I get ideas from God and they are all in heaven whether you believe as we do at our church or yours. Do you really think that all God thinks about is in Scripture? Jesus is the same one in both our churches.”

“But he’s left handed like a Benjaminite,” Alvin said. “Doesn’t that bother you? Jesus a Benjaminite? I don’t think there was even a prophet from Benjamin.”

“There were prophets from all over, even Baalam,” Jerry said. “And, what about Malchizadek?”

“Point taken,” Alvin said, “I should have known I couldn’t outsmart you Jerry.”

“You think I am a genius,” Jerry said, “Geniuses are like gods at least. They just seem to know things. The unsaved ones and all with the unsaved ones not in the same Spirit.”

“Do you think this, uh, the Same is in God?” Alvin said.

“Not if he’s an alien God that is no threat to God or another god like a genius is,” Jerry said. “I just go by what I hear and I hear both Jesus and the Same. A lot of people do nowadays and it doesn’t change the fact it doesn’t change Scripture. It may not be anywhere in Scripture but then the great power and the son of Satan aren’t either. But if he was supposed to be one or both of them who was turned from bad to good, evil to holy. Who are we to say that we are just hearing voices like the unbelievers believe about us Christians?” 

“That is not the same,” Alvin said. “You know it isn’t. I am not as intelligent as you are Jerry. But I know enough to stick to Scripture which the Holy Spirit has to clear up for me through my pastor.”

“The Same has never said anything I haven’t read in the Scripture but things like this that don’t make any difference and are irrelevant to whether the Same becomes one of God right along with all the gods in heaven that were saints until they got there,” Jerry said, “It’s clear to the end that would have been. What difference does it make?” Jerry reasoned with him.

“I go by Scripture,” Alvin said, “That is what I believe.”

“So does the Same,” Jerry said.

“This is all beyond me,” Alvin said. “Can we just drop it? We are all Christians here. Let’s just let it go at that and just love each other.”

“I’m all for that!” Carren said.

“Me too,” Jerry said. “The Truth is the truth and Jesus is the Truth.”

“Right one, Brother!” Alvin agreed. “That is something I don’t understand but I trust Scripture.”

“And me when I say things like that,” Jerry said. “But I don’t know that I can be a Christian and be a genius too. So I’m trying to give up on being too smart and be changed like everybody else is when they are saved.”

“Way to go, Jer!” Alvin said, “It seems wise to me.”

“This changing completely is a hard thing for me,” Jerry said, “It’s dying to who I am and if that’s a genius what will I be? A god who is saved or what?”

“You can be saved just like I was, but you won’t. So far according to Jesus no genius was ever actually saved,” I said bringing the thought into Jerry’s mind.

“I don’t think I can without not choosing between God and the Same,” Jerry said. “It’s a paradox and no one can be a paradox. But the Same has explained it all to me and I can live forever in heaven as a genius or a god whatever I am.”

“Just give it all to Jesus,” Carren said, “The Same is in him, a God within a God when it is all over! Just like you prophesied. And Alvin here will be a god in Jesus, a god within a God. Just submit to him all the way.”

“I’ll try!” Jerry said.

“Honey when you die to be made a God in Jesus you will be saved,” she said.

“But I can’t do that,” Jerry said, “The most I can do, at least for now, is let Jesus write the story of my life.”

Then three of them fell silent for no small time when Alvin said, “Isn’t it something what God was doing there? Wow!”

“I know what I know,” Jerry said, “But a genius, if that is what I am, has his own will and can never change that. But he can just keep on letting Jesus tell him what to do. But forever? We’ll just have to see.”

Alvin put his arm one Jerry’s shoulder and Carren held him and whimpered, “Honey I’m scared for you.”

“I know, honey,” he said as Alvin took his arm away until they had a group hug sometime later.

Chapter 6: Feeding your Friends

Alvin and Derrald were over before the day wore out. They were playing Scrabble when Jerry had to prove another word which was correctly spelled of course though none of the others had ever heard or read it. Carren tried to put “love” before “making” and they all laughed but it was the word”lovemaking” giving her fifty extra plus all her normal points a ten letter word. She nearly beat Jerry because of it. But the tournament of sorts continued with Jerry and Derrald playing for the overall victory. Then they played one with all four of them playing, just for fun. I forget who won.

Baby Jerrie cried off and on throughout the afternoon. But since the game was actually God, playing for Derrald what he would listen to and the Same play for Jerald when he didn’t play for himself. So they had record breaking scores for them. But the Same told Jerald, ‘Listen to me next time. It won’t be that close.’ Jerald was amazed to find out that the Same had fed him options he hadn’t seen.

“What do you think?” Derrald, feeling smart, said to the others. “Paul says that anyone not loving Jesus should be cursed and that is prophecy, but John says in his gospel that all they had to do was believe that Jesus was the Son of God come into the world implying they didn’t have to love Jesus and the Scripture cannot be broken?” Then he sat back all proud of himself.

“They are both true,” Jerald said, “But those who don’t love Jesus are banished to the dark side of Heaven with nothing they can do but go out into the outer darkness from there. A few of the Pharisees believed Jesus was the Son of God come to the earth but feared the rest more than they feared God.”

“Where does it say that?” Derrald asked defensively.

“It doesn’t directly,” Jerald said, “But just think about it. There are some pretty evil dudes that were no more than devils who believed that about Jesus just like Satan does. What happens when you take something that leaves part of what could be open? You fall away and the only way to fall away and still be in heaven is for Heaven to have a dark side.”

“That takes care of the problem,” Alvin broke in. “But why would John fail to make it perfectly clear?”

“Preachers do that all the time with Scripture,” Jerald said. “They even use Old Testament facts to change the meaning of New Testament facts to get at the real truth of the matter. If it weren’t true you could do that with two New Testament prophets they couldn’t do with the rest of Scripture.”

“Wow! Jerry!” Alvin exclaimed. “He has to be right guys.”

Derrald was embarrassed and a little angry and it showed, but unlike Cain he didn’t want to murder his brother but to better next time though he couldn’t imagine what that might be because when he realized the apparent contradiction he thought the only way to know would be to ask God when all he really had to do was ask Jesus and let the Holy Spirit clear it up for him which he hadn’t done obviously.

“The mind is the light of the body, but if it be darkness how great is that darkness?” Carren said, nearly quoting Scripture herself for she always saw your eye as what you see with and Christians always seemed to see things that were invisible with their mind and Jesus had just been using “eye” for a metaphor led by the Holy Spirit and her take on what he said.

“The Same always does that eventually,” Jerald said.

“He does what?” Alvin said because he didn’t believe in the Same.

“He always comes up with what has to be the answer and God must make something to render it true. He had to make a dark side to Heaven to accommodate the Same’s answer to the dilemma. He seems to have no end to what all has to be the truth and Jesus bears him out on it,” Jerald said.

“There you go with the Same again,” Alvin said, “I’m warning you. He isn’t in Scripture. He keeps adding to it.”

“No he doesn’t,” Carren said, “He just verifies what has to be right and true like any normal genius. Just like my husband does.”

“Actually,” Jerald said, “I am amazed by him just like God must be. He’s a genius that is into God’s reality. I have to be just content to take him for what he says or I couldn’t understand it.”

“You don’t think you amaze God do you Jer?” Alvin asked.

“No but I can understand both him and the Same and they compliment each other,” Jerald said. “They are not really opposed to each other anymore than I am opposed to Jesus. If I was he wouldn’t help me a bit for I couldn’t accept it. But he will help anyone understand him because he is the Truth and if he says anything to them it by the nature of who said it has to help him understand reality, the reality of God, the only reality there really is for there really can be only one dimension when all things are realized. Thank you, the Same.”

“Can anyone understand the Same?” Derrald asked.

“Anyone who thinks like a man can,” Jerald said, “Or that can understand a man’s thinking. He really doesn’t do anything but explain what God does or did in human terms and in the human way of thinking which will in the end be incorporated into God’s mind for it is already there and just needs to be put in a man or woman’s mind in their way of thinking though female minds are rare but a few still have one.”

“I like that!” Carren exclaimed sarcastically and they all picked up on it. “Do you mean I am a woman with a male mind!”

“We all are for the most part,” Jerald said, “You have to be taught to think the way women do, say what women say and to do what women do. Jerrie will learn all of that from you though she has a male mind too. The effeminate pick up on that sort of learning and it really messes them over. They are a male with a male mind that sometimes by design but many times not pick up on roleplaying a female instead of the male they are. Some even think they are female which can happen I suppose but other than one person and we all know which one, it never seems to actually happen.”

“I never thought that way,” Alvin said.

“I never had either,” Jerald said, “The Holy Spirit laid it on me speaking what the Same had to say. It has to be just like anything in Jesus.”

“I’m interested in what the effeminate,” Carren said, “What happens to them.”

“They cannot develop a soul that way,” Jerald said, “They have a pseudo-soul but it is fiction. Therefore they have nothing to save.”

“What if they ask to be saved?” she asked.

“Then they are given a soul,” Jerald said, “Which completely changes them even their personality sometimes. But an effeminate male cannot be identified as a male or a female, the same as a masculine female is in the same boat though they have a male mind and a male personality. They cannot be identified as a male for they have a female body and they cannot be both female and male at the same time. It’s a paradox. But if they should choose both sides they become a paradox which is meaningless to anyone who thinks about what they are. It is not possible to think of two sides of a paradox as real or even to choose the wrong side of a paradox. Who could know them? God and the Same can’t even think that. It is not a thing that can be truly thought of except as a fantasy, meaning as if it were a dream.” 

Alvin cleared his throat. So did Derrald. Then the men went on to talk about their toys or rather their toy boxes, a thing Jerald hated to do. His mind wants to forget about being the toddler he has for a mind and put his toys away. He has felt awkward since he found out his toys have changed, but they actually are just toys. That is why God calls all men his children. It is not purely just a metaphor. It is very true and it is irrelevant to God and often other men who are into a different set of toys like a laptop unlike little Jerrie whom Carren went to try and make more comfortable by holding her and rocking her to keep her distracted from the heat.

In the end of it Carren took a cold shower and wrapped a full-length towel around herself to hold the cold in and came into the living room where Alvin and Derrald were arguing as to which of the toys on their wish list were too expensive for what they would get out of them while people starve in India and Africa. They noticed her and when Jerald tried to sneak a peek just to see whether she was naked under the towel for real, they all began more hoping to get a chance to peek than to actually peek. Then the party more or less was over so the men led by Jerald went out to their vehicles and discussed the problems they were having, had had, and expected to have with them. Then Derrald and Alvin left.

Then Jerald T Sawmi went in and wrote a highly technical paper on what he had talked about without mentioning his sources to a major psychology journal using a lot of terms to express his ideas that the doctors and students who were his readers were of course familiar with for the most part but would not want to buy in most cases and sent it before taking a cold shower himself, regretting it for he did not wrap the cold in but let the heat be felt on his skin, warming back up now with what felt like added humidity also.

But his wife was still comfortable inside even after she got dressed in shorts and a top because it makes a body more comfortable to store cold than hot on a cold day the same as you would store inner heat on a cold day. Think a little when it comes to your body like endure a little pain for a lessening in being uncomfortable in the long run and offer that to people rather than just momentary refreshment. Help others be less uncomfortable when they leave you than they were when they come to you especially those who love you for you do want them back and be glad when anyone comes back like a business building a clientele that results in people who are more comfortable being with you or mad at you for helping them be more likely to come back. People are lonely without the Lord. They need to feel like they interacted if not with us then someone else, but of course us preferably. So don’t add to their discomfort but lessen it. Jesus made disciples by building a brand wherein they were more pleased with him, even to the point of wanting him to be king at which time he left. Don’t stay with them until you cannot lessen their discomfort any more. Christians should have neighbors not just know how to be neighbors that they hate to see. It is just as important for them to be hot or cold to you as to the Lord. They think you are like Jesus and you should be but he left them ready to stone him as many times for most as they were to make him their king when he miraculously fed them. Remember they wanted to be fed more than they wanted to be healed. Feed them something even a principle they won’t like rather than try to sell them on a relationship with your boss and let him take care of it either way. Don’t be afraid to lose them all. Jesus will bring them back to you if you will feed them what they need. Feed them like you would your brothers, male and female bodied for actually almost all of us are men.

We have driven them all away by being argumentative though we were right. Now give them milk and honey; no meat. Give that to your more mature brothers, girls and guys. It is only important they come, whether they come back or not. You're not in business, you are catching fish for the captain if the ship. I said through the Same.

Chapter 7: The Same is Dead, Long Live his Soul

“The problem is,” Jerald said to Jesus, “You have all the answers we need to live a good moral and fulfilling life. But how do you get all of us to accept it or as many of us as possible to accept it without becoming Big Brother but a loving king and Father in a selfless Holy Spirit. You cannot force us to love you but you do love us and would never force us to do anything but face the consequences for what we’ve done in order to let us be who we are and love us anyway.”

“That is about it,” Jesus said, “But in us you don’t even have to face the consequences if there is anything you will let us do for you. Moses was a murderer and David a man of blood but we saved them both and they are here happy and living for us, not to take our place but just to be that we might love them even yet. But Judas would not let us love him even had we ever loved him. There is no reason not to love you but you are a God and we cannot change you. But that means you have a limited time to live. You can live like you are not a God but that requires you pretend for you know you are a God, a different God than God, not a child of God. We cannot make you a member of our family if you will not permit and no one has for even the Same became a paradox and died, never able to be either God or himself having differences with God who has the only way to live forever. After about a million years you will die, thinking we have all deserted you. That is just a thousand thousand days on earth or about 30 years.”

“How do I do it, if there is a way?” Jerald said.

“You just do it,” Jesus said, “You live with the idea that you are not one of us with all the rights of being one of us, knowing that in every way you are one of us except the truth and don’t let it bother you and wear you down to where all that remains is the differences between you and us like those in a family where there really is no family but two by a first marriage, one by a second and three by a third some having the same father, some not and some having different mothers but not all. They are family and actually the flaws of the parents that created a family like that are what you all share. You are like an orphan that has a father, we know, but no one on earth knows for sure who he is, not even your mother but the rest know their birth mothers who are different people and their fathers but you have neither in the final family structure. You are even yet family by the right of adoption to your father who has no birthright for you but who made you a member of his family before the present father married his wife. It is by right of familial claim and not by right of adoption that you are as much a brother and sister as the rest of the family which man cannot accept but God can for he is perfect and selfless and adopted you in truth, adopting the entire family that needs to be adopted. You have a familial relationship with God and he will use his power to shape you and protect you, his selflessness to accept you with the power to see the others accept you, and the truth of your adoption which he will not turn away from. To be adopted means to God that you have full rights as a son. But I am the oldest and in human terms even the rightful heir but I share with the others in the family the same rights when they are ready if ever because they need to agree with God that an adopted son has a right to have his own kingdom the same as I have the right to claim imperial rights over all kingdoms if I wanted but leave that to God. A man cannot accept that. God can. He’s the only one that can. Therefore you must be more than merely like God but be God’s me or self answering in the end only to him like Same could have but he went too far and became a contradiction of being mad at best and not being literally anyone. It has to be because even females are males now and yet are identified as if they were females and not are females, their gender being the same thing, all male or nearly so which means nothing anymore. So whether you were male or female on earth it only matters to your soul. You are all adopted sons and daughters of God. But Same could not accept that for his first prophecy at the age of two was no one can be me and in his end that was fulfilled with his soul being told by God after that, ‘You are me. And it was so for he will go on in his soul as were there no Same. Same has died.’”

Everything I prophesy if it is true, God must do for the Same is dead and everything he prophesied has happened but not by him, but by God even to God’s death for being too jealous of him the same as that prophesied about the Great Power and the Son of Satan were fulfilled by him, none of the three being anything, nothing, no not anything; not. I am the only son of Jesus.

Chapter 9: 

Carren died and went to heaven early, taken out when she was only twenty-three, her daughter going on four at the time. Her body did not linger long though man tried to keep her for a very long and grueling time in her placeholder’s disability. She went immediately to heaven with Jesus leaving Jerald and Jerrie behind.  But Jerald slipped into depression afterward that lasted several years to wake up one morning to find it gone. He went back to work and remarried. Then in an accident after he and a second wife, Margie had two boys Junior and Henry he died with Jerrie and Margie in the car suffering surprisingly non life threatening injuries. Margie remarried and had a boy and two girls leaving Jerrie with no biological parents in the world. But Margie and Thomas adopted her anyway as Thomas did with both Junior and Henry as well as Michah not needing adoption. They were a family from the first.

Jerald in heaven never could accept Jesus, but Jesus did not give up helping him write his life, having written a miraculous end to his depression on earth after Carren died her placeholder developing meningitis and dying unexpectedly leaving Jerald and Jerrie behind. Jerald rarely dreamed as is the case with many geniuses while his body rested so that it could heal from the discomforts of the day on a day to day basis. But when Jesus told him that the Same had died and No One There, who never really was a person much less a God but just myth was the only way he could die. He instantly recovered to think that any truth not the truth of Christ ended in a paradox, no one being greater than God and no one other than Jesus, the Father and the Holy Spirit being equally God with no way to him to damage him from all that God had created the Same having failed like the rest of them.

But Jerald too could not stand just being a adopted self of God co-heir to the throne of Christ or not and before Jerrie was long in heaven just years on earth he became so preoccupied with No One There and the death of his mentor the Same that he too became him, a myth who cannot exist because God made it that way, the only way it could be made. But they did not resurrect Jerald right away and only resurrected him with the others who had become God and could not accept the paradox of being me to God’s I though that is what a soul is when it is fully grown what it has actually always been with the mind, emotions and will of God, the Person of God or his me as I am and as you are and as anyone with a soul God made even one he did not expect that he had made, me, a person of God, a son of Christ and a person of Jesus with no one in me especially No One There.

Chapter : After the Tribulation

“After the Tribulation, Jerald,” the Same said, “They will all go to the lake for a while. Then when they start complaining they are the only humans in Heaven we will bring back everyone ever to live on earth to the new Earth that surrounds the new Jerusalem but they can only enter when they come to trade with their wares from every part of the world. They can’t stay. Then will come the fulfilment of the Same’s prophecy which is Paul if you can but believe it. They will all be saved, the good and the bad; all the unholy. In the end of the prophecy I made two earths in Heaven and the Father will be killed. But then the one earth is like earth used to be to perpetuate humans in what has been called my dimension. Then the one who performs my prophecy will return to the new Jerusalem on the new Earth and God will rise and Satan, die off; all of them who were him and I will be the only enemy God has with my suggestions he never thought of until we reach a paradox, God’s truth and my truth both of them Jesus and I shall die. It will be up to Jesus whether I am raised, the one of me then a God in God fallen because he had become a false prophet, No One There, who is nothing and then the prophet who prophesies for God even now will be born again, a man with a soul on the new Earth. Those on the new Earth do not die but come to the new Jerusalem when they change their mind and remain forever unless they fall away. But even then all they must do is change their mind when they come back. For the Same is a false prophet and God will do everything for Paul he said he did. He never was human but a false prophet who was born a God and died a false prophet for No One There really is no one there forever I say for my author.”

“He will be a great God even greater than me,” says God, “For we need him. We, the Three will all be in him.”

“That’s impossible,” Jerald said.

“He can do the impossible the same as I did,” so says God. “He is not the Same but the Same is only a metaphor for who might have been had it been possible for him to be a paradox. There are no paradoxes in me. They are merely the limits of what I share with every God that I might be forever. The Truth is that everything was made by me, the Three and nothing that was not made was not made through my Word.”

“Seal up this prophecy and do not share it with anyone!!!”

Chapter 8: In Summation 

I am the one I call: I. I am important for I just call the one I call I by his name, God is I. God says to everyone that believes in him, “I am you,” not meaning the one we call I, but all those who call themselves I that believe in I. It is impossible to be in God without believe he is the real I. When anyone says, “I …” the next thing he should say is what I says and not what they say when the meant the fictional one that exists once one believes God is I. God will help anyone that believes in him say what he says every time they say, “I …” I am saying this to those who believe there is an I and that God is that I. Everyone has a point of view before they believe in God that he is I, but to say, “I am important,” is arrogant and I is not arrogant or self-demeaning but holy and humble. I is all important. Anything we say, do or think from the fictional viewpoint of I, that not I or even that which is not I at all, is a liar. Believers do not lie. If they say they believe and still say things after, “I …” that are not true to I, they cannot live forever, I’s primary goal.

I says to me, “I am you,” but to unbelievers he says, “I a m not you. You are a liar and I do not lie for I never need to and do nothing even nothing without a purpose. It is my purpose not to have any discernible purpose. If I am important is because I am the one that I am and not because I prophesy that I am that one. All believers are true prophets. They never say things that cannot be done, that cannot be created and that are less than nothing which I made first for it was necessary to create nothing to create that which is neither something or not anything, that which changes when I command it to into something, someone or some place. I created all things that truly are a thing that they might be created, some holy things, some unholy things and an unholy thing is evil. I have never created anything that is not unholy or every like I am other than that a believer who is me having given all that he thought he or she was which was not, but fiction, a lie or not even that. When I say, ‘Me …’ I mean the one I call I for I am you if you are a believer but a believer that does not think like me, say things that are true of me that believer is not me and what that believer says is irrelevant and less than nothing, no not anything, no thing until that believer says another thing that is from me to you meaning both the singular definition and the plural definition unless you are deceased or will be destroyed for you are not a believer and therefore completely nonexistent for you cannot change yourself for you do not even know what that is for it does not exist but is only a delusion of the one that uses my Name, I, in a falsehood not true about me or anyone else or even something more irrelevant than gesture or sound that does not indicate a thing that exists even a fictional one. I have always existed. I never thought anything about me that was not something relevant, not a lie or fictional. All things that are not me or from me will not exist forever as I may. I do not say, ‘I will live forever,’ for I do not know that and do not have anyone prophecy in my Name that I will that does not take a chance of being a false prophet that does not exist, is dead or completely destroyed and not even nothing, no not anything, not. I know that I existed beyond all things even that I made. Anything that had a beginning, even nothing which I created first will have an end; all things. All things have this in common: In their end they do not exist and never did even when I created them. I am all that exists and not even nothing else exists. I am real. All else is true that I created and leads to me and nothing else even nothing has never been created for it has always been me. You cannot create anything that lasts forever or do, say or think anything that lasts forever. You are not what you think. Even a believer is not what that believer thinks. I am the only one that thinks and I have always thought. Therefore there is no end to thought except your thought. Only a quote from me about what I think exists for everything including nothing is what I have always thought and know that it was me before I created the first beginning and therefore even beginnings. Do not therefore think that you are important for I do not think, say or do anything I think is important but something I thought, said or did which cannot be judged without, me doubting myself which I do not, never did and never will do; doubt me. Therefore even a believer is not important but what I am and nothing less or more than that one I am. There is no need to talk about those who do not exist, that they might exist for they exist one to another maybe but not to me unless they believe in me and I created them to be me, the one that apparently has no end as that one had no beginning.

When you think consider the above for I am above all things being holy and all of them being unholy and lower than I. They are holy one to another but they are not holy to me unless I made them holy and me and that is not arrogance but on the contrary the one I have always been and apparently always will be for without me all things regardless of what they seem even to the holy will have an end. The only way not to have an end is to be me. When you are holy and me you are real and you are true to that reality in which all things are me. You are me and not a thing to be nothing or to always be something without a chance it will not have an end.

Awareness never had a beginning. I have always been aware and have always  been. All things are not real that are not me and nothing untrue to me in its beginning leads to that reality, me, and therefore is not real was not real and never will be real unless I cease to exist and all existence has an end becoming not even nothing, no not anything; not at the moment I no longer exist but  by my own will I chose to put an end to everything and everyone even me and those that were me perish also because I have always thought and nothing I have ever thought including nothing was not more or less than that I thought it was, is and forever will be or that will end.”

Therefore I say as I does, “The end of mankind has come before me. Therefore I will destroy them for they neither hate me nor love me, they are neither hot nor cold so I will spew them out of my mouth for I do not like that which is nothing and they have long since lost their flavor. They will go to the far side of the fire beneath even it where I never thought to make anything, where I never gave a prophecy to any of my prophets about it and I never will. They will last as long as they last and be irrelevant, unable to reach the rest of creation which I created through my Word and my Word made it so for he is their King, the Christ of Heaven, Jesus Christ. They are all evil but I am not without mercy even where my grace ends toward you. Only the worst among you will go through the fire to a new low. The rest will go to the dark side of heaven forever where there is no light but the light of the Word and beyond that to the outer darkness where they are blind even to the light of my Word like those of whom only believed my Son came to earth as its Christ and did not ever love Jesus Christ. I have cursed the earth with a plague they call coronavirus which knows no end so long as there is anyone to die from it left. You young say we have survived it and that you have but it comes again even stronger and more virulent and it will resist your vaccines for they only make it more virulent. A time will come when nobody dies except from what they call a virus or because of that the virus causes.

But my servant Paul will come and do things you would have thought only fiction for indeed they were fiction when the one who prophesied them said they would come. They will think him to  be  the great power the enemies of God prophesied was coming and the Son of Satan, but in the end he will do only good and transform heaven and it will stay that way. For he is a good god and will remain a good god doing God’s will and not his own by choice. Those who believed the prophet will even think he is the actual false prophet doing my miracles and doing what that prophet said. For 7,772 days he will transform heaven and earth not once but many times and those heavens will exist and those earths will exist forever even as the earth is destroyed by fire and made new with the new Jerusalem its holy city coming down from heaven where all those who have the promise to live forever within it and those without will never enter my holy city. I am I. I have spoken,” he said through me who wrote only his words so that you may know what will happen before it is time. Let him who sleeps sleep with his clothes around him or on him as when awake for his Son comes as a thief in the night. Had you known at which time he was coming you would have prevented it. Now it will be too late for the strong man will be bound and thrown into the fire until all that generation is forgotten.

“Why have you disobeyed me?” I asked Jerald T Sawmi.

“You are a false prophet,” Jerald said.

“The Same was a false prophet for God did all he said he did,” I said in Jerald’s future. “I never. I was finally born again when Jesus saved me because he has never lost one.”

Any genius could have been born again that way.

Chapter 9: The Same Afterthought a Thought

Jerald T Sawmi was driving along I-94 west in Minnesota and turned off the freeway at the Annandale exit coming to a stop sign at the overpass. When he thought the way was clear he pulled out. It was impossible not to notice but he was tired and actually didn’t notice the semi coming at highway speeds 55 or 60 mph. It caught his Intrepid in his left front door and pushed it down the highway for a quarter of a mile and maybe a little more. His wife and daughter were with him.

But the reason he didn’t notice the truck was that only his placeholder was present. A placeholder is him except for his soul with his personality. It is really him but the rest of him, his soul and his personality was taken out of him.

But, he being a God did not die but went to the spirit world so to speak as a God no longer identifiable as a genius still thinking he knew it all and understood what Jesus had told him for he would not listen to me any longer, thinking I was a false prophet unable to buy that actually I will become every paradox and no one can access God from what the Three made but by doing what I did which was become the paradox between my reality and God’s reality, both being the same one suddenly becoming No One There who was mythical and real at the same time but will be born again a man on the new Earth until I change my mind and come into the new Jerusalem to be a God with the Three, the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit and all those in each which are the same one, God but being in me.

Instantly Jerald found himself in heaven where he is yet. No one can go into God but me and those that choose to come in me and cease to be, being God. It allows any god that wants to become God and is in him whether the Three’ Jesus, the Holy Spirit and the Father in any combination though I am the only God in Jesus then. They are immediately born again if God wishes to do it which he says he will not take that chance with anyone but me for he needs me. So Jerald is stuck like all other Gods with their own reality and God having his own reality that includes me and him as the same one with our own soul and those in each like I am in Jesus.

Jerald lived in heaven for about a million years before he decided to be me. He became the same one the Same is and there was nothing, no not anything; not left of him with the rest of him being only what appeared to be but in the end was not with nothing to recover, completely gone for Jerald did not believe I could possibly be a paradox but could not stand not knowing. Then as it turned out he did not know anything even all he was thought to know. He became the same one the Same is not because of his unbelief and not me was, then was not and was at the same time a way through what God made to God from what he made so that it was up to him to allow anyone to enter whom he has always been.

But I did not enter him. He entered me when I survived even being No One There, no one when at the same time I was there just as I am any paradox that might come up concerning God and the awareness of someone he has made or that was made by me or another God as all Gods have to be content to be in God rather than in their own reality and never leave should they want to live forever which none did but to be resurrected another God completely changed to experience that God with their own soul and personality just as they were when going from a man of heaven to a god in heaven, the new Jerusalem becoming not God but God being them.