Between the Congratulated

An odd tale about justice served.

"Well, seven Mondays to Sunday, if it is not my old acquaintance, Bathrod Turnbuckle. Why for you are traveling this lonely streak of roadway?" asked a portly creature with four arms.

Bathrod replied, "Good day to you Quadrincle Smoothtalker! I am following this pathway to see the Monarch of Goneastray, I have an appointment to be auditioned."

Smoothtalker smiled a wrinkled-faced smile, then stated, "Great Gaseous Clouds, an appointment to be auditioned! Are you bringing jest to my mind?

I, too, am of the same persistence. Six times I have petitioned to be auditioned, but no announcement to the positive was forthcoming.

You are to be between the congratulated.

I reason that you possess the informative acceptance paper, for without it your presence will not be entertained."

"You have stated correctness," Bathrod replied, "however, I must make no hesitation now. We will have such conversations at a time much beyond the present, when time is not pressing me. OK?"

Smoothtalker smiled again and said, "Abso-tootly, my good fellow, Abso-tootly! But before the proceeding of you and your fine donkey. Might I partake of your metal flask of wetness, I am about to parish?"

The large metal jug is promptly handed over to the thirsty traveler.

"Ah, that is a tasty moistness, much appreciation!

CLANK!!!

My sorrows to you, Turnbuckle, for Clanking you abruptly on the head," Smoothtalker stated as he took the paper from Turnbuckle and climbed aboard the recently vacated donkey.

Then he continued by saying, "But to take your place with appointment to be auditioned is a matter for my social elevation. No matter the position you have applied for, your appointment to be auditioned is now mine. You see, I am full of great sureness that this job will be greater in social elevation than a lowly horse-stall tender, my present occupation.

Oh, and fear not, I will tend to your donkey as if it were my own, --- Good day sir."

{Some days later.}

"Halt, who is it approaching the Monarch of Goneastray's, appointment gate?!?" asked a Gate-Guard.

Smoothtalker lied as he replied, "I am Bathrod Turnbuckle and an appointment time is slotted me. Here is the informative acceptance paper."

The guard looked at the letter, then at a pad that he had in his hand, and that is when he stated, "Ah, Mr. Turnbuckle!

I see a notation and reference; you may enter among us.

You are the only petition noted for this appointment. So it seems that you have attained this coveted position within the castle grounds, and might I say, "Without interview".

You are now in the permanent employ of the Monarch of Goneastray!

Please, come in the out and pass this stopping station. Then turn your donkey at the first Oxcart and proceed to the end of the street to your right.

At the end of that street there is a hut for you to live in.

And behind the hut you will find the pigs and the pigsty that you are to keep care of. --- Congratulations!"

JE Falcon

06-12-2017

Reviews

[Samuel Dickens]

Ol' Smoothtalker sure got what he deserved. I've dabbled a bit in similar style writing, so appreciate the work you put into this--making up names and odd beings, etc, takes a good imagination. An enjoyable read.

[JE Falcon]

Thank you, Mr. Dickens, for the comment, and you are right. Lots of planning goes into these. But humor is not easy to come by, so you have to reach for it.