A 5-7-5 Story

Senryu

Star-crossed lovers touch

In dreamlike misty visions.

A train whistle sounds.

They borrow a kiss

While embracing the moment.

One stays. --- “All aboard!”

The train disappears.

Just a whistle's memory

Of misty visions.

JE Falcon

05-05-2022

Reviews

[lightsong]

Truly a lovely and gentle imaginary here. the train could be a train, and the train could be life itself as we take all the chances we got to have as we walk through it. I read it few times, their story ended with happiness in my mind, another, it was a sad one. I like the ambiance of mystery and intimacy You built there.

[JE Falcon]

Thanks much, and I am happy that you like my offering. --- Have a great day!

[Betty Hermelee]

Descriptive words to say a sorrow-filled farewell, love the imagery.
Best, B

[JE Falcon]

Thanks, Betty.

[light and ashes]

How beautiful and dreamy.
:) You did an excellent job with this.

[JE Falcon]

Thanks so much, and for the visit.

[light and ashes]

You are very welcome.

[Cherrie Palmer]

What a vision plays out like a old memory.

[JE Falcon]

Thanks, Cherrie, that's what I was hoping for.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

I had a goodbye like this once...more than just misty were the visions...for a couple hours afterwards...

I really like these,
j.

[JE Falcon]

Much thanks, Jacob. --- I hope the memories that went with the mist will always be good.