And She Left

Another chapter from my book

When he woke up, he found himself floating in a boat in a dark misty water. The last thing he could remember was her scream and a huge shriek.

He got up, trying to make sense of where he was.

He shouted with all his breath into the darkness and waited for a response, yet he got none. Then, he saw a light far away into the mist. He started rowing the boat towards the light, till it hit land. He got down from the boat and started walking towards the light.

As he went closer to the light, the mist started to fade away and things were more visible to him.

He saw a woman sitting on a bench and a tree nearby her burning in fire, causing the light.

As he moved towards her, she turned her head and he knew who that was, it was THE WOMAN.

He ran as fast he can, a race between his heart and his feet, but when he went near her something hit him and he fell on the ground.

While he was down, he recounted where he was before this place happened and he also understood that she was with him in that place too. He got up as quickly as he could and tried to reach her again. But there was something in the air between them that was preventing him from getting near her, like a force field.

He was panicking. But when he looked at her face, there was just a smile on her lips and calmness in her eyes, looking at him.

She got up from her seat and walked towards him, slowly and elegantly. They were near to each other, yet far, as this force field was preventing him from touching her. 

Then it hit him, a realization, he fell on his knees.

She stood near him looking down on him.

'Are we dead?' he asked.

'Not yet' she said with a smile.

 
He lowered his head and said 'I'm sorry. It’s all my fault'

She brought her face near him and said ' Nothing is your fault. You've brought me nothing but happiness. You've got me this far.'

'Why am I not able to be with you? So close to you, yet so far'

'When I told you we are not dead yet, it means we are at the edge of it. But the twist here is that only one of us have to go back'

'What do you mean?'

'I have to leave'

He felt it, the huge pain inside his heart, confirming that he was the one being cursed, with life, without her.

'Please… Please… Don't do this to me. You are my last hope.'

'You have a destiny to fulfill'

'You are my destiny'

'If only I can tell you the things I know. But that’s not how things work. Time will give you all the answers you need. All you need to know is that I'm sacrificing the rest of my time for you. Use it well. You will not know anything that is happening right now, when you wake up. But, you will feel it every day of your life'

'Don't go. Please no. You're all I have. You are my light. I’m scared of darkness. Please don't let me go. I won’t last a second without you. I'm nothing without you'

 
His eyes were clouded by tears.

 
She knelt down.

 
'Listen to me, just listen. Life will be chaos, life will be very confusing for you. But, you will be okay. From now, I will not be the light that glows around you, but the one that ignites you from the inside. Go write it out, write your life. I will always be there around you, with you' she was able to touch him.

Her hands on his cheek as a sign of comfort and a kiss on his forehead as sign of goodbye. She then withered as the dust and disappeared.

 
He felt a weight pressing him down from his heart.

 
He felt it, he felt like being lost, then found and again being lost again.

 
With the thoughts 

*why is it that even my wish a sin?*

 
He closed his eyes.

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The nurse rushed into the doctor's room and shouted

'His heartbeat…’ She was stammering.‘It's… It's... Rising.’

‘What?!’ exclaimed the doctor.

‘He’s still alive’

‘That’s impossible’

The doctor rushed towards the emergency room.

As he left his room.

The clock behind the doctor’s chair showed 

11:11.

 

 

Author's Note

Any review of yours will be highly helpful:) Hope you like this:)

Reviews

[Tionge Rosalie Johnson]

I'm immediately drawn into the story from the first sentence, which is a good skill to have. Like the other comments on here, there's definitely some mystery as to how these two characters met and I love that. Keep on writing!

[Writer_next_door]

Sorry I am only now reading this and getting back to you. It was a really interesting chapter. Mysterious is the first word I think of to characterize this chapter.
Well done! Looking forward to see what happens next.

A

[B. Hudson]

sucker for romance and the hurt/comfort side of it. read it twice. great work

[buterfligirl]

Very interesting. It effectively ropes the reader into the story and leaves them wanting more. I'll certainly take a look at the next part if it has come out when I have the time.

[Chain of Hearts]

Please, please, please finish the next chapter!! I've been waiting for so long (I know, I know I'm officially addicted to this book right now lol)..
-LK

[Jerald Infant Jeyarethinam]

sorry for the delay...I was away for a very long time due to certain personal issues...I'll be uploading a chapter shortly from the book..

[Jlee001]

This is such a great plot. the feelings at the end were so well described that I felt as if i was the protagonist. I could feel the pain he was feeling in his heart as well. However, the middle section could have a little more elaboration and maybe some better word choices. Particularly the section "As he moved towards her.... fell on the ground". Also, maybe instead of calling her "THE WOMAN" maybe "her" and not in all caps. it sounds a little unsophisticated when it's in all caps, but maybe that's just my opinion. otherwise i loved this short little story

[Jerald Infant Jeyarethinam]

Thank you so much... as i've said these chapters are just rough versions of my book, so that i can get valuable suggestions as such you gave me... i'll be editing stuff and spicing things up for the final version.

[Ishita Dixit]

Wow!
One can't imagine the protagonist's pain without shuddering at the very thought.
Well done!

[Jerald Infant Jeyarethinam]

Thank you so much ishita:)

[T. Adams]

I really liked this story. Usually people are afraid of writing in great detail what they believe death or the brink of death looks and feels like. My suggestion would be to dive back into the emotions of the story. The dialogue is great, but maybe add in more descriptions to the surroundings. Describe the darkness, draw out the fire. Great work.

[Jerald Infant Jeyarethinam]

I'll definitely take in your suggestions for improving the imagery settings of the situation.., Thank you tiffany:)

[Dayran]

The pale of a woman speaking to a man of his destiny ... is indeed a foreboding experience to anyone. Quite often ... its more true than most people realize. Nice ...

[Jerald Infant Jeyarethinam]

Thanks dayran:)

[Mila]

Very good continuation. I read the first chapter and went right onto this one to see how you continued on, and you did a great job. Enjoyed this a great deal and can't wait to read on!

[Jerald Infant Jeyarethinam]

Thanks mila:) Just to say...these chapters are not in order and i have just uploaded random chapters from my book..glad you liked it though:)