TeleMarketeers 2 ~Holly's Pickle

All's fair in love and telemarketing ...

Short Story ~570 words ... 

Holly's Pickle

Copyright © 2021 by John D. Major

"Hi, it's Carson at Dandy Products, do you have MagicLight in your home, sir?"

"Will it work in a doghouse?"

"Can your dog clap, sir?"

" ... Huh?"

"You know, Clap On, Clap Off."

"Dogs can't clap, you idiot!"

"Ciao, sir."

Laughing, Louise tapped me on the shoulder. Her call-center station is between hot Holly's and mine. I took off my headset.

"As much as I'm a fan of your smartass banter, Carson," she said, "you know our calls are recorded, and you know Dwight McFright has no sense of humor." 

( Dwight is the call center's Supervisor; I'm currently hatching a plan to murder him ... but that's another Story.*)

"I can't help myself, Louise." I said, "Sometimes our Colds just beg for a put-down." 

(Colds are our cold-call recipients, and yeah, the stuff some of them come out with is priceless.)

"Ain't it the truth," she said, "but sometimes you're just too clever for your own good."

"Which reminds me, pal, are you still in for Operation H?"

"I am if you still wanna part with that Hamilton you offered me."

"I do, and you're up. Go for it, pal."

(An Alexander Hamilton, AKA a Sawbuck, is a $10 bill U.S.)

On a wink, Louise removed her headset and tapped Holly's headset.

"What's up, Louise?" Holly asked, tabling her set and pausing her dialer.

(a Dialer automatically dials Colds, one after the other.)

"Yesterday, I couldn't help overhearing you accepting Dwight's offer of dinner, Friday, sweetie. You're not actually gonna go through with it, are you?"

"Any reason why I shouldn't, Louise? Dwight's considering me for the Assistant Supervisor opening."

"I can think of two right off. One, you've only been here a week and a half, and two, don't you think it might be good idea to ask somebody why the current Assistant Supervisor is leaving?"

" ... Okay, why's he ... she ... leaving?" She looked around. "Where is he ... she, by the way?"

"He-She Who?"

" ... Pardon me?"

"I've been here eighteen years, Holly. I've yet to see an Assistant Supervisor."

" ...Oops." Holly's pretty brow furrowed. "Guess Dwight's hitting on me, huh?"

"Louise did a slow nod. "How do you feel about that, sweetie?"

"Like I wish I hadn't said yes ... like I want to get out of it ... but, he's the boss. How can I?"

"I couldn't help overhearing you, Holly," I said, nudging Louise. "It seems you're in bit of a pickle." 

Holly nodded. "Don't know how I could've been so naive."

"Actually, Carson," Louise said, "maybe you can help Holly."

" ... Oh?" I said.

"You study law, nights at City U, don't'ya? Know anything about Workplace Harassment Law? Maybe you can share some advice with Holly."

"Yes, a little, and I'd be glad to."

Louise turned to Holly. "If I were you I'd take young Carson here to lunch and grill him for all he's worth."

" ... Oh, I probably shouldn't impose, Louise, I'm sure Carson has better things--" 

"No imposition at all, Holly," I said. "I'd enjoy cutting my teeth on a real-life pickle."

"There's no time like the present," Louise chimed in, "and you can't beat Burger Heaven's Value-Wednesdays, across the street."

"You up for it, Carson?" Holly asked me.

I killed my dialer and hung my headset. "Let's do it, Holly."

As I slipped past Louise, I slipped her the Hamilton.

..................................................

*TeleMarketeers 1 ~Carson's Revenge

Check out TeleMarketeers 3 ~Please Louise

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Author's Note

Anything you'd care to share, I'd be grateful to hear.

Reviews

[Delmar Cooper]

Well written piece of drollery. All the funny bits are actually funny and if not laugh out loud certainly smile inducing. The repartee is well delivered and the punctuation seems right to me. Mainest thing, a reader can understand who is speaking all the time; that, is essential to understanding, and a misunderstood joke is the pits.
Thanks for sharing.
Cooper

[JD Major]

Thanks again, Delmar. you're an inspiration, and a very helpful (in your details) reviewer! :)

[D. Mansfield]

I thought this was funny and well written, I have done alot of tele marketing jobs and this is authentic as can be. Very nice.

[JD Major]

Wow, you dug deep for this one! Thanks so much DM! :)

[Samuel Dickens]

Great back and forth dialogue and humorous. Though I've never worked in an office setting exactly like that, it seems authentic. Well written, also.