three

Elsa Describes her family

THREE

My family and I live in the new suburbs in St. Charles. What seems like a million square miles of white houses and white families. Perfectly manicured lawns and wives. Perfect little children who will grow up to be cheerleaders or receive football scholarships. I am not from here.

No one is from here. We are all transplants, except I didn’t choose to be. Everyone likes to hide problems here. It’s becoming quite apparent that that is my problem. I may have to fix this soon.

The suburbs are an all American pass-time, white people moving to a secluded area of land and building a million houses that look exactly the same.  And buying guns.  Each subdivision has one cop that posts up at a random place all night. We may have no crime, but that’s because white people don’t care what other white people do.

I guess,well, I definitly use this to my advantage, but it’s still fucked up. Stone Meadows is one of the richer subdivisions. We have a large drug problem here that goes un noticed. I'm not talking about just weed. Everything.. I guess it’s not really a problem because they can afford it. The school here is terrible. It is way too utilitarian. Too conventional. It is painfully “normal” here.

Every year around election time, I want to stab everyone in this neighborhood. How grown adults vote for something as important as the president based on “faith”, I don't know. Religion is an awful way to pick a world leader.

Every day a convoy of different colored SUVs drive down the street. This used to be farm land, all flat. Barely any trees. Now it is a sea of houses, exact except for a variation between four colors. You have to keep your house in a color scheme with the neighborhood, or you will get a “community ticket” which basicly means you have to go to the next “town meeting” and get bitched out.

They really can't force you to do any of this stuff, but it's a great annoyance to my dad. They can also get you for your trampoline not being blue, seriously. The entire neighborhood has blue trampolines. You can also get called on for not sticking to the neighborhoods political views. My parents aren't the most liberal of people, but my dad doesn't like being told how to vote. They take long enough to decide on a canidate anyway. The neighborhood went nuts when my dad voted for Kerry in '04.

Needless to say, this place is your basic homogenized wasteland full of rabbit t**d houses and gas guzzling SUVs. Everyday, swarms of people commute forty five miles to St. Louis or some s**t, I guess they want to drive in a house there. Makes sense to me. 'Merica!

Author's Note

Should I add a line about triple cheese burgers at the end?