The Lone Hunt

A Story by Cholontic

This is a boy's first hunt. He is trying to get a powerful symbol for his family. Things don't go as planned...

The sun filtered through the leaves, casting tiny, shaking shadows across the earthy floor. Though the light was bright, the warmth of the blazing sun hesitated to touch the earth. A chilly breeze rustled the leaves and awakened the sleepy birds while carrying with it the fresh scent of morning. The birds greeted the day with warbles and chirps, creating the song of the forest.

Father said they would begin work on my house when I brought home my first kill. My first kill would make me a man and symbolize my manhood all at the same time.

It would have to be an impressive kill, if I'm to marry Taria. Oh! The beauty of Taria! Her perfect laugh and motherly hips!

His first lone hunt. The excitement made him tremble as much as the cold made him shiver.

Her father said I needed to be a great hunter to marry his daughter. Then laughed as he said, “Unlike the rest of your family.”

His face burned red at the insult as he searched for the source of the noise he'd heard a moment before.

Snap!

He turned to his left and raised his handmade bow. As he placed an arrow and held it there without tension, he searched the woods for any sign of the creature. He edged closer, carefully avoiding crisp leaves and small twigs. Slowly, he moved until he could see the deep brown coat of the neck and shoulders.

This was a sixteen point buck, if it was two. The beast stood there, stock still. Grubber was sure it was listening for any noise, waiting to hear the snap of a twig, see the strange movement of the leaves, or smell a predator nearby.

Most men had bucks as their symbol, but few had them as large as this one! Oh! What a celebration it would be!

He lifted his bow with the arrow and drew back the bowstring as far as he could. He carefully aimed just behind the front shoulder. Then he released it.

Pffft. Thunk.

The beast jumped forward and disappeared into the woods. Grubber quickly followed. It was still out of sight but a broken branch here, a hoof print there kept him on the trail.

Did I miss the sweet spot? I rarely missed it when hunting with father. How could I have missed it? I was no more than ten yards away. It was there, standing perfectly still, waiting for me to shoot it.

He entered a clearing where a spring flowed out of a cracked rock and formed a small pool before meandering into the forest. Birds flew and warbled their songs in the canopy of the nearby woods, small animals bounced from tree to tree and from ground to trunk as he entered the clearing. The breeze rustled the leaves in the trees, making a strange pattern on the ground below.

There, at the pools edge, lay the creature he had slain. Bright, silvery, blood seeped from the wound his arrow made and reflected in the beam of morning sunlight.

Stunned, he stood stock still for long moments, trying to take in the creature before him. The creature with his arrow sticking out of the chest cavity.

How? How could it have been this creature and not a buck? Never in his life had anyone mentioned these creatures lived in this forest. Where had it come from?

“No! Tis more than I can bear!” Grubber screamed to the tree tops.

I can't do this! I can't have a unicorn as my manhood symbol. What kind of man would I become with a unicorn as my symbol? I would have everyone knowing how evil I was for killing a unicorn.

Grubber threw himself onto the broken shaft protruding from it.

He felt his life oozing out of him as he closed his eyes.

Please, don't let my shame reach my family! Mother and father deserve to be proud of their son, not ashamed of him.

A bright yellow light hurt his eyes as he opened them. A man in flowing robes covered with leaves and twigs stood before him. Everything around him was bright yellow, though he could see shifting in the background.

“Awake, child. You have done well,” the man said.

He looked around and found the brown unicorn with a yellow horn quietly munching on some grass nearby. The stream gurgled its way through the glade and the birds sang overhead. Nothing had changed.

“We are connected,” the unicorn lifted its head and met his gaze, “I am Neighlor, who are you?”

“I'm Grubber. Nice to meet you,” Grubber said, “I'm sorry I killed you. Where is this place?”

“It is the glade where we both died. Your sacrifice in my honor has saved us both. Now, we must find you an animal symbol for your manhood,” it said.

“We're not dead?” Grubber asked, “How?”

“The Gods have their ways,” the unicorn said, “What animal would you prefer for your manhood? I know of several that are near death and would like to go out with pride and dignity.”

“Pride and dignity should be the way all animals go,” Grubber said, “I would like to give them pride and dignity.”

“Excellent. We shall give you a bear as your manhood symbol,” the unicorn said.

His horn glowed butter cream colored and an old grizzly appeared. He was not your average bear as he had bone protrusions sticking out of his eye ridges and stood a good ten foot on all four feet. His shaggy grayish fur was thick from the winter.

With a roar, the bear stood on his hind legs.

Grubber pulled his bow and cocked an arrow as he moved behind a nearby tree.

The grizzly took a step and wobbled, then stood perfectly still.

Grubber sunk an arrow deep into his heart and the bear fell to all fours.

Grubber put another arrow into its chest and the bear dropped to the ground with a thud.

“Pride and dignity go with you, old friend,” the unicorn said, “Be at peace.”

“You will be the pride of our family, brother bear. I hope I gave you dignity in your death,” Grubber said.

© 2014 Cholontic

Author's Note

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Chris

A boy on HIS first lone hunt that will transition him to manhood - and he thinks of his promised bride - her perfect laugh and then of "motherly" hips?

You begin very and nicely descriptive but then you become quiet and drab... where is the excitement of his FIRST hunt? Is a good story line but will improve if you develop it a little more...