Lunch Time

For some reason I felt the need to attempt to write a possible children's book (7-13ish), and thought it be good in rhyme. Have no idea, but if this goes over well, may have plans on writing it.

Lunch Time

It was almost noon, I'm in English Class, when the lunch bell rang;
I packed up my books and went out to look for the rest of the gang.
Out in the hall, guess who I saw? Little Johnny, my main man.
So I said, "Hey Little Johnny, what's going on? Have you seen Dan?"
He said, "He's down the hall, right by Ms. Ball's; let's go get him man."
We stopped at our lockers to drop off our books, Lunch time just began.

I had two twenty-five for chocolate milk, pizza and fries.
Little Johnny packed lunch with a thermos cup; everyday a surprise.
I said, "Hey Little Johnny, whatcha' got from your mommy? Something good?"
He said, " 'Got corned beef, pastrami with a slice of salami. It looks good."
So I took a look and Little Johnny was right, boy did it look good.
Little Johnny took a whiff and closed the bag saying "It smells really good!"

I said, "Little Johnny, you got a good mommy, let's stop wasting time;
You know I don't pack a lunch, so we need to rush, so I can get in line."
"So let's go dude, I think I see Dan now," I heard Little Johnny say.
I said, "If the line's not long and we eat real fast, we can go out and play."
Dan said, "That sounds fun," as he got closer, now he wasn't too far away.
So we gave him hi-fives and begun to run to the best part of our day.

Lunch Time

Author's Note

I like the over use of the word "Said" in this. I think it makes it seem juvenile and has a Les Claypool undertone to it if you read it kind of sing-songy. Perfect for a kid's book in my opinion. Let me know what you think.

Reviews

[Teri B]

I'll have to go find out who Les Claypool is, first! :)

Thanks for visiting and reading my work! I wish you luck with the kid's book. I do my best to avoid anything to do with children, as I am a high school teacher. I spend enough time with and on them during the day! :)

[topsyturvy]

I like the sing-songy tune of this as well. :P Great job, and best of luck if you plan on publishing/writing it for real :)

[Aidz]

I know who Les is lol

Enjoyed it actually painted the right pictures