A Poor Letter of Foreplay

Thanks to Mattavelli and his hot nasty

 

My Love,

       I hope you get this letter, and it reaches you just fine. I loved the time we spent together; I even enjoyed it when you cried. Now I hope you won’t think it rude that when I say this thought. I was so drunk last night I wanted to rip your clothes off.

       Of course that is the type of thing you’d hear if I had a penis and a set of balls, but since I have a vagina it really shouldn’t be said at all. I write this letter to you and I hope you don’t get scared. I want to oil you up and I want you to pull my hair. I do remember something that I read and thought quite neat, a little thing called hot nasty, oh I wouldn’t mind tasting that treat.

       So my dear please don’t be mad, I forgot your number, but I did find your email address, now time to talk about who goes on top and who is under. This is sort of foreplay I’m sorry it’s kind of lame. But my dear you drive me crazy with those little daisy dukes and downing a keg of beer. I guess this isn’t romantic but I have a secret life, I am now a lesbian, but I used to be a guy.

       Now you know my secret but I’m all woman now, I hate the male gender, they were so dumb, it was astonishing oh wow. I prefer my dog to a male any day. At least the dog is faithful and doesn’t always worried about getting laid.

       So my dear now you know, I hope it doesn’t deter you. I want to taste your juices I still have some male brain cells and I try to deter them.

                                           Love,

                                                 Bruno err Britney

Author's Note

This isn't a piece that is meant to be insulting it more or less is for those who actually have a sense of humor

Reviews

[E. M. Murren]

This is an entertaining work. Lots of fun. Well done.

[thecoolone52]

it was good are you really a lesbo??? hahah anyway..... it seems like everyone gets insulted these days, fuk them hahahahaha... i enjoyed it!!!

[Red_Queen]

I loved it.!!!!! It was hilarious and entertaining. It started going one way then turned around and sprinted in the other direction.
very good.

[Haden]

ha ha, very cute! thanks for the laugh bruno! umm err britney .... fun to read!

[So sad to be forgotten]

Funny

[Ed Rector]

twists and turns makes this stand out. it shows some steamy words and has a great title to begin this piece with

[Misa]

rofl..
one of my best friends is gender dysphoric, and l think he feels much the same, all too much. love the twists you revealed as you went, and well written - very realistic feel to it, and the wording at times was quite amusing. :)

[jen -- JG]

This was a good fun read and not insulting in any way. I like the idea of a 'a poor letter foreplay' and got the image of a 'letter' busting open and oh my god, what happens next!

I still believe everyone or most everyone who is straight or claims to be straight - has a little corkscrew twist hidden inside and I think eveyone who reads this will enjoy the sentiment within it.

tongue in cheek, true or not, real or fantasy - a damn good read.

jen-JG

[mattavelli]

haha
This is great!!
You said Hot Nasty. :)

[Static C]

This was great really. I think the idea of a letter was quite an inspired way to put this erotica together. It makes me want to do something similar, maybe something with a historical motif. hmm lemme work on it.