Purest of love

My first attempt at something new within the genre of poetry.

Infatuation forcefully penetrates her inner core
Ferociously palpitating falling upon the floor
He slowly inches closer to steal a kiss
Shes never felt such a pure bliss
Succumbing to inhibitions too strong to ignore
She makes her move blocking the door
You can’t leave yet we’ve only just begun
She winks then smiles but all in good fun
His Arousal intensifies to an extreme high
As she inches closer he begins to feel shy
She finds this cute but says not a word
She swiftly swoops by him like a weightless bird
She sits on the bed awaiting his touch
She can hardly wait the anticipation Is too much
She begs him to just have his way with her please
His long sensual kiss brings her to her knees
Hours later they are dripping in sweat
But they don’t care this is as good as it gets
Love like this is the rarest of all
Your chances of finding it are remarkably small
So if you ever encounter a love so true
Then cherish that love through and through

Author's Note

Changed it to a erotic poem.

Reviews

[Lyrically Inclined]

Nice rewrite! I think you’ve found a new avenue of your writing. Well done!

[Kelli April]

I enjoyed writing it, also. And I have you to thank for that! Thank you!

[Lyrically Inclined]

Anytime, I’m glad I could help!

[Lyrically Inclined]

I always thought limericks were supposed to be kinda funny, this seemed like it was a good start to an sensual erotic poem. I think you should edit it and keep it going as an erotic piece! Could be great!

[Kelli April]

I will try that right now. Another first lol

[Gee]

Saying that, yours is much more " grown up"

[Gee]

Bit of a mouthful.

There once was a man from Belize
whose wife was a terrible tease
She flashed him her butt
in their old garden hut
then told him to go prune the trees.

I know this ain't good but it is the sort of thing we used to hear in the schoolyard.
More of a rat a tat tat feel to it.

[Kelli April]

Trying our best to exceed every goal,
Has started taking its deathly toll
Inches from death
Down to my last breath
Falling deep in a darkening hole.

[Kelli April]

Better?! Lol

[Gee]

In my humble opinion Miss K, yep :))

[Kelli April]

Thank you! That’s exactly what I needed was some kind constructive criticism. I’m appreciative that you took the time to give me your thoughts. Thank you!

[jacob erin-cilberto]

well put-together, It has sensual undertones, but really is more suggestive than blatant...i like that...the hints...
and the alliteration words very well as it is spaced out.

j.

[Kelli April]

Thank you so much for taking the time to review my first limerick! I find great joy in learning new things.