Warming and Breaking of a Heart

Each and every day- Caring, Preparing, Soothing.
It's saddening- memory gone, memories from years ago lingering, repetitiveness brewing.

No longer able, or independent, just relying and sometimes angry
Emotions running left and right, questioning 'Will I ever..?', Maybe, just maybe.

Some are comical, as if life just began, some are enraged at being "trapped"
Making up excuse after excuse, these unintentional lies begin to overlap.

My heart swells with love and also sadness, not knowing what more I can do
Some making me promise never to leave and to always, to them, stay true.

Such a clash of different personalities, switched as the disease progressed
Many are strong and able, while other wither away and unmercifully digress.

The mind plays evil tricks day after day,
Watching as, from their grip, the little things slip away.

Daily necessities are forgotten like they were never taught,
Some families, uncaring or unable, lock them away, and never look back without a second thought.

Days, weeks, or months they frequently forget who they are,
but some always hold dear to them the love in their heart.

Painful blows each day I see a minute or a drastic change
To know I am unable to do much but take some of their present worry away.

Tears jerk as depressing lurks deep within my soul,
To know their lives and families will never again be whole.

On good days and bad days, a smile from just one of them warms my spirit,
To know one day the Lord will open his arms and welcome them in it.

Author's Note

I work in an locked unit that holds around 30 Alzheimer's patients. Each day, no matter what my mood, going to work both warms and breaks my heart to know that they wont be able to go home as I do, and make memories each and everyday that they will be able to remember when they awaken the next morning.

Reviews

[Everett DeValle]

Wow, Rose, such a deep write...I remember Grandma being like this, it was sad depressing thing because I always want to remember when she was strong and to her see her in that state like your poem brought me to those feelings...nevertheless, awesome and emotive write. Nicely done, Rose.