Emma

Based on a dream I had, also trying to experiment with a lazy, more mundane style than my usual forte.

Emma

 

My friends decided to take me to a party tonight in a city. I at first declined as is my nature, I knew it would be a good night with my testosterone companions and their feminine counterparts. I knew as always I would enjoy the time in the city with their company however I refused because subconsciously I more often than not, refuse myself events that will cause me happiness. I have been a negative soul since I can remember to give you the blunt truth, I think something in my childhood, what I do not know however, caused me to think I deserve to be miserable all my growing life. So when I get the chance to forget melancholy and be happy for a night, I refuse because deep down I feel I should not be happy. I often wonder if I have a sort of fear of happiness; alas I cannot tell either way. Nevertheless my friends convinced me to go, through my guilt of saying no every other time they ask of me.

And so into the city we went, note it was a bright evening at this point, my friends James and Danny radiated excitement for the night in store. James was a kind sensitive soul, he always had something funny to mention in his own disillusioned way, but I cannot say I am any different in that sense. Danny was more bold than any other trait, and tried to be clever with his comments for laughter. They were both good friends I had known for many years but there was something, that thought of ‘deserved misery’ that made me feel like a black cloud around such good and humourous people.
Cities were not my taste in general. I was a rural child and to me Cities were too dirty; with too much happening all around with too many people, it was a sort of chaos to me however this night started well. We arrived to see ten people already there casually drinking and relaxing. Half of which I knew and began conversing, those I did not know, I scarcely spoke to, for they were outside my comfort zone however approachable they seemed.

As the evening progressed into night, increased did the numbers that arrived. Many of which were friends I had not seen for a years’ time, since I had left college. My friends Jason and Lee arrived together and it was a pleasure to see such faces again. Such relaxing personalities with a laid back delight in their countenance. Ted and Christopher arrived soon after and they had mellow auras you cannot help but enjoy. I caught up the missed year with my companions and joked of our lives ups and downs.

Now at this point my social drinking friends had all been male as I expected, there were girls around too but none of which I particularly knew or wanted to talk to, until a group of four did arrive that I once knew. Hannah, who was a loud one, nice and friendly by all means I do not question. But a lot to take at times; she was a small brunette possibly with ‘small mans syndrome’. Olivia, the moody girl, also small and brunette, who I thought did not like me, but James, who was good friends with her, assured me otherwise. I had doubts of such but that may have just been how she was. With Hannah and Olivia came Emma and Sarah.

Emma was a girl of beauty, she was tall, almost my height, and slim in a very healthy manner. Her hair style was very attractive, long and flowing black down almost to the middle of her back and a lovely endearing fringe. The only thing keeping her from being the appearance of a model in my eyes was that she was too pretty. And nice. Her face alone would make you smile. Emma and Sarah were like twins in the sense of personality both were always cheery, it was just their nature to smile and laugh and such personalities are infectious. Sarah, the last of the girls that arrived together, I had a romantic feeling for since the day I met her three years ago, she was brunette also with luscious lips and big pale blue eyes that you could not help but fall deeply in love with. Sarah was stunningly beautiful to the fullest extent. I would even go as far to say she was the most beautiful girl I had ever seen in my life not including the fake people seen on TV, as I do not class them as people. If she not be the most beautiful girl I had seen then she would be right up there with the most attractive of my knowledge. And yet Emma was not far behind at all. Sarah’s personality as I mentioned was similar to Emma’s; to die for, she was a fun and happy girl who loves and cherishes life, stemming from that, when I look back on why I did not bother going for a girl I felt such strong romance for, it is because I did not want my miserable aura to stain her happy soul. And also my aforementioned tendency to deny myself happiness, but in a selfless way I saved her from my own negative energy.

I hugged and greeted both Sarah and Emma with the same smiles they did me followed by a little conversation; Hannah I also spoke to but Olivia no more than ‘hello’ I said before returning back to my male friends.

The night was full of people now, calm, talking in a pleasant way but pleasurable and excited, with laughter heard all around. I was relaxed in this atmosphere, Danny and James were sat next to me in a sort of circle with others, I was zoning in and out of daydreaming and their conversations which honestly is me at my happiest, well more furthest from grief. I cannot tell you in the slightest what my daydreams consisted of, your guess would be as good as mine.

A lad came through the door who I had seen before, but I did not formally know him, he said casually the police were on their way to stop us and so without thought, we all fled the building, but in a slow almost heedless manner, probably the best way really, people took their drinks with them and continued the socialising on our walk out into the city as if we were simply going out for the rest of the night. The city lights on the signs were a joy to behold, one I had never seen with such marvellous elegance before. Everything was so bright and joyous. The colours, vivid; all lifted my soul to the heavens I felt. We walked down the path as I took in the beauty all around me, the police in pursuit slowly in the distance behind, but they did not know it was in fact us they were searching for and so we wandered in our own time. Alongside the slow moving city traffic.

The night became more to me, a sort of peace entered my chest, a deep holy happiness and this was the first time I had ever really felt such. Usually as I have mentioned, I feel like a walking black cloud, a thick energy of darkness yet now, I was filled with a hollow peace. I was in a state of mild bliss. I began mind wandering once again in my contentment before we stumble upon a city park, only small it was; and dark as the lights could not quite reach in but we could still see them all around which I greatly appreciated. It was small yes, but big enough to fit the fifteen or so I was with and so we sat for chill and merriness. Soon after, the police walked passed in search of us and failed. Not one of my friends seemed to notice; perhaps they did not care enough to raise an eyebrow. My friends had placed themselves near a tree, and four of us on a bench. I was one of the souls by the tree, I sat slightly on my own, dazed by the city lights. Mesmerized I was by how lively the world seemed.

In the corner of my eye Emma wandered past in a daydream of her own and sat herself leaning against the tree behind me. Why she was alone I know not, she seemed in a quiet lonesome contemplative mood much like me. I thought to why I had never felt romance for such an attractive girl before, my reason in the end was she could never have fallen for me, so I must have thought why bother?  On the other hand, maybe I shadowed her under the beauty of Sarah. But in this moment I saw Emma as a lonely, absolutely adorable girl. For a few seconds I thought of turning around and speaking to her yet she looked peaceful sitting, staring at the stars and midnight city light. Oh what beauty her mind must have felt by seeing such sights. In such moods as we were in, why ruin them with words? I lay down, resting my head on her lap, I could feel her soft flesh through her jeans, and how firm she felt, my head tingled with heaven as if touched by an angel of God. Her soft hands leisurely began to caress my head in an affectionate way. She smiled a faint smile in my direction, I followed with a groan of blissful happiness letting my eyes feel heavy and drop. She felt the same, I could tell in her complexion which was filled with overwhelming peace. A warmth flowed through us where we touched. Once again I thought for words, but what would be better than this feeling? This perfect moment?

Moments passed in this position before she gestured for me to lift my head, I assumed she was uncomfortable, or simply wanted to find new company such as the three friends she came with. Emma repositioned herself whilst still leaning against the tree, left leg was outstretched whilst the right was half raised. A slight glance she gave me, of that peaceful, content smile and I pulled myself against her body facing the beautiful lights. My head was once again in the perfect position for her to fiddle with my hair and rub my head in some sort of senseless and sensual fashion. We remained in such for a fair time. Both glancing at the light from the sky and buildings. In awe of how dreamlike the night felt together. I could feel her physical form against the back of me, the brilliant female features. My friends were all but a memory now; they could have still been there but my senses were not able focus on anything more than the girl named Emma, and the light around us. I felt romance for her body, and her calm, blissful and happy soul. All things I had wished for and never felt before this night and now through her, through the lights I beheld I felt all in such peace stricken ecstasy. My god, life has been such a struggle through these long years but now I see why I live, for moments like these.

She removed herself from under me. Her company would be missed that was certain but the contentment with life I felt this night could keep me for eternity. And I was blessed she had spent such moments with me and for the second time I thought her company was gone. I let my eyes drop once more, and so too my body as I lay for a moment across the ground. I was in love with this newfound feeling of euphoric peace and happiness. I began to gently open my eyes to view the stars once more, to take in their excellence but as my eyes opened I did not see stars. Emma had not gone from me, she knelt by my side looking at me with calm intensity before delicately raising her leg in smooth motion and sat across me. Her eyes had a laziness about them, as if she was taken by the atmosphere. And I was the same. I breathed heavily in sexual rapture, the heave of my body transcended through hers as we moved to my breath as one being. She beamed with gentle lust as her light hands for a moment were placed on my stomach, before slightly pressing in as her weight was ever so slightly resting there. The finger tips brushed down my sides ever so lightly; a sensation was me, a tingle almost, through my body because of her soft hands.

She was gorgeous. Her touch was beauty. We were beauty in our erotic position, body and soul aching for one another. Gently, she pressed more weight onto her arms as she slowly leaned towards me. Towards my lips, our eyes met with spark of desire and soon our lips. The wait. Time ceased. The world was mine as she came closer, my body bulged further from sensuous deep breathing and her body swayed with me. Closer she edged to me, her hands now rested on the ground by my head, I placed mine on her sides firmly, just below her bra, on either side with outstretched thumbs. Those delicate lips touch mine, plump they were, I could taste their liquid red as I embraced her. It seems God has given me all of life’s joy in but a matter of hours. We kissed and swayed in ecstasy so passionately...