RE-Birth Aquatic

Baptism....we just can't move on ...with all that "past" sticking to us.... God says " come as you are"... but ya have to let go. from a pic prompt ...this isn't the pic ...lost in the meley

Slow steady kiss

of summer sun,

warms the  flesh

between my spirit

and the sea.

 

My senses fill

with salty breeze,

alluring sky and surf

compete their plea.

 

 

Seagulls dare

tendrils of foam

that tease the tideline,

chattering cries of heresy

a dirge,melodic requiem….

of a broken former me.

 

Tiny crabs

play  scamper tag.

Lay in wait,

to audience

 my eulogy .

 

 

Death of flesh

and latent sins,

cleansed by waves,

caressing promises

from God

of things to be.

 

Hour draws on ,

yet time stands still,

endless sky

offering indemnity.

 

Within myself

at oceans whim,

eternal holy grail

releasing me.

 

Baptisms’

inner Eucharist,

a season

drowned

In absolution,

Now….

I’m

 

f

r

e

e

 

 

© 2007 J. Hampton [email protected]

Reviews

[Mr. Deft Diction]

I think you did your thing with this! I love the melodic flow...

You see??? I'm getting my mind expanded every time I read you; that's why you see my writing going other places!

And what better place to visit re-birth; the fluidity of it all is just too great to see it any differently!

EXCELLENT!

[Blackbirdsong]

This is a beautifully written and inspiring poem.

"Death of flesh

and latent sins,

cleansed by waves,

caressing promises

from God

of things to be."

Yes this is exactly how it is and how it should be.

[Gabrielle E. M. T.]

Simply beautiful. I'm speechless. I loved it!

[Emily B]

re-birth/death this is an awesome write. I like how the noises dissipate, they slow and quiet as the narrator speaks. . . until at the end with "Now I'm free" we get the feel of dead quiet. This was a hugely sensory experience. I'm so glad I stopped by and found it.

[Kris B]

hey i really liked this poem. keep up the good work! if you want to, check out my page. i only have one story in progress on here at the moment, but go ahead and check me out. loved the poem!

[~ Tex]

I enjoyed this work. I love the water... the ocean in particular, and often find both strength and peace from being there or writing about it.

I like the flow of your work and your word choice... and your format/presentation.

All of those things help set this poem apart in presentation so that it grabs the eye, and once hooked, the reader easily falls into familiar feelings and the soft, sweet, rolling waves of words that wash so wonderfully over them as they react to your work and the feelings they experience from reading it.

I look forward to reading more of your works.

[Celtic Cat]

Stunning beauty. Love this piece!!!!

[Footprints]

The structure was unique and really epitomised the ebb and flow of water .. of liquid life. Overall the experience lulled me into the mood of your poem. Liberating!
Thanks for sharing

[J.P. Bristow]

beautiful really beautiful...you took me to another place with this..... calm and soothing.....and this sudden...release really beautiful.....purgatory and beyond.

[Barry S. Maltese]

This is a great example of taking words - and like dabbs of paint - create a lovely picture for your readers to view. . . . complete with the smell of the salty sea. Nice work. Now I want to go for a walk on the beach

:-)

[[untitled]]

Lovely poem! As always. You can make a movie out of words. Beautiful, beautiful.

No naked men in front of computers for you!

Ha!

Hugs and stuff,
Bern :o)