Midnight Reverie

When love fades away, all that's left is...

 

Silhouettes of faded dreams,

Dancing like silver screen lovers

Behind gauze-like curtains,

In the flickering candlelight of my soul.

 

Images of you and me,

Moving like kaleidoscope patterns

On the surface of reflective fragments,

In the shattered projection of my feeble gaze.

 

Whispers of love songs,

Drifting like petals of wilted blossoms

To the dusty bedside table top,

In the desolate, aphotic corner of my mind.

 

Memories of us,

Haunting me like restless spirits

From the hallowed ground of love's shallow grave,

In the effervescent mist of my midnight reverie. 

Author's Note

Let's see, as always constructive criticism, PLEASE. I don't believe I'll change this one any more than I have. It's one that feels complete to me, for a change. 'Aphotic' is a somewhat obscure word, in that it's rarely used, but it means dark, lightless. :)

Reviews

[Pax Analog]

Your language ripples rhythmically like those gauze-like curtains.

I had to look up "aphotic," but I enjoyed that. Its relative obscurity is appropriate to your usage.

The elegiac consistency not only reminds the reader of the haunting quality of love lost, but indeed of the evanescence of incarnation itself: "We are such stuff as dreams are made on, and our little lives are rounded with a sleep."

You've gathered your word-clusters well, like so many lilies in memoriam to time itself. One need not tinker with such flowers.

What remains is the strange sad beauty of our fleeting mysterious lives.

[Martin See]

i find the last stanza an excellent tie up of the poem...your poem was well-constructed...however, there are certain words in the imagery used that i thought could be replaced...like "moving like kaleidoscope patterns on the surface of reflective fragments" is already explained with your following line...perhaps try a different metaphor...nonetheless, this poem is a good job! i found this line"to the dusty table top, in the desolate aphotic corner of my mind" most appealing to my sensiblities...thumbs up!

[John McGrael]

"In the effervescent mist of my midnight reverie."

thats a super cool line, it seems i have more and more midngiht reveries these days...

but i really like the imagery in this poem, its pretty freaking amazing
just the "silhouettes of faded dreams" image... really good first line... powerful image... sets the tone for the whole poem... yeah!!