Yep, She's a Boss

Donations come full circle

Had to take a few moments to get this story out. Absolutely true all things I am about to convey and every time I share it I get goose bumps. That is why I figured I would share it. I hope this reaches the right eyes and helps them when it is time to make a rough choice as well. So here we go

                Back in 1995, January 1^st to be exact, my wife and I had the early arrival of our first child. She was 1 pound 4 ounces, and she was a little fighter, but only lived for an hour. She was born alive and in the state in which we resided if your child is born alive you have to fill out a birth certificate and death certificate. We chose to honor my mother Linda Mae, and named our child Myranda Mae. While still in the hospital reeling from the sudden arrival and loss of our child, we were approached by hospital staff asking if we would donate our child’s remains to a company for study on advancing premature baby care. My wife and I had about 16 hours of very serious conversations about life, death and what comes after and then we made the choice that yes we wanted to donate Myranda to further the care of premature babies. Our thought was that if we could help one couple not to have to feel the pain of losing a child then it would be worth the donation. We said our goodbyes and packaged her up with a beautiful Tulip to leave us forever.

                Sad beginning I know. I am misty eyed remembering the times I went through back then, but the story gets better I promise.

                January 7th 1996, our second child arrived. She was still early and small 5 pounds 4 ounces but much more sustainable. AJ Underhill, we chose her middle name to honor her Grandmother on my wife’s side of the family. While we raised her she became great friends with my mother. I say friends when I should use the term co-conspirators. There was no trouble those two would not risk to have a good time together.

                My mother Linda Mae, sadly, passed while AJ was a freshman in high school.  AJ graduated and found a boyfriend that she eventually moved in with. They came to visit on December 17^th 2017 and announced that they were expecting and that we were going to be grandparents. I was blessed because my daughter happened to be working at the same company as me, so I got to be that grandfather that whenever she had a craving (Usually refried beans) I would be able to get it for her. I also kept my granddaughter fueled with caffeine by buying mom coffee each morning on the way to work.

                When my daughter and her man found out the sex of the child was a girl they decided to honor both of their grandmothers who passed away by stealing the middle name of each and they made Victoria Mae. Both of these ladies she was to be named after absolutely loved Christmas. My mother would begin her Christmas shopping on the first day of school each year. Great Grandma Vicky would begin her holiday baking the day after Halloween. Family togetherness was what each lady loved and Christmas brought that opportunity.

                About the beginning of the 5^th month of her pregnancy she started putting on a bunch of weight quickly. He doctor was not too worries but we suspected then something was wrong. On May 20^th 2018 I was driving my second shift with Lyft and I got call from my wife stating we needed to take our daughter to the hospital as she was having complications. I was close to my wife’s location and picked up then we flew out to pick up our daughter and made tracks for the hospital. (Two cross town trips as the hospital she was going to was closer to our house than hers. While on the way to the hospital, May 20^th mind you, we had an oldies station on, you know big band and swing. Out of the blue Bing Crosby’s version of I’ll Be Home For Christmas plays. My daughter who was very worried ask “Holy $#!^ is this really happening now?!?”

                I calmly replied “Yes, AJ, they are playing Christmas music in May.” (Hiding my disbelief as well)

She asked “Do you think that means both the grandma’s are looking out over our baby?”

                My response was “No honey, I KNOW that both the grandmas are looking out over the baby.”

We arrive at the hospital and my daughter’s blood pressure was within range of having a stroke. They only had her 15 minutes in the ER before whisking her off to the Labor Unit. Turns out she had severe Preeclampsia and HELPP Syndrome. Her organs were shutting down and her platelets were dropping.

Needless to say things were very grim indeed. Having worked in the medical field for years I knew how bad this situation was but tried to remain calm for my family so they would not see how worried I really was. In a quiet moment outside while smoking a cigarette I laid it out for our heavenly father. I confided in him that I was not strong enough to lose a second daughter and granddaughter as well.

                We left that evening with the doctor planning for them to try and keep Victoria in place for hopefully two weeks, a week if accelerated and worst case scenario 3 days before her being born. That was around 6pm. We left her in the hospital’s care and with her boyfriend in place to help in the overnight. We had planned on returning the next morning after breakfast.

                I was awakened by my wife texting our daughter at 3am the next morning. Our daughter had texted that they were doing an epidural. The first words out of my mouth were “Holy $#!^ we need to get back to the hospital.”

 We showered quickly and off we went. We got there about 4am, By 7 am the doctor came back in and said to our daughter “You ready to be a mommy today?”

                He then explained that her labs were tanking badly and for both of their health they needed to deliver via C-section as soon as they got the last person from the NICU team in place. I asked how long that would be and the doctor said about an hour. I excused myself to go buy a couple of packs of smokes at the corner store because I knew it would be a long day. I was in line about to pay, when my wife called my cell phone and said I needed to get back to the hospital, that they were taking her to surgery right now. I slid my debit card and looked at the clerk and stated “I gotta go!” I don’t even remember if I completed the transaction or stole two packs of cigarettes. I didn’t care either way. I got back to the hospital quicker than I care to admit to my wife or the police. I walked down the hall as my daughter was being wheeled up the hall to delivery. I wished her well and went to join my wife in the waiting room. Many family members had assembled.

Before too long they wheeled my granddaughter by the waiting room on the way to NICU. My wife and the other new grandma took off following her while snapping pictures. I hung out in the waiting room to allow space for the nurses to work. News came that even though she was three month exactly premature she was 1 pound 14 ounces and doing OK. After a few I was informed I could go see my new granddaughter. Grandpa Fletch (an adopted grandfather) and I went back. I had my camera at the ready as I wanted to capture the moment. We got into NICU and Victoria rolled her head and winked at us. It was like she was saying “I have this under control” I snapped a picture right as she was winking and Grandpa Fletch said “Tell me you got that, tell me you got her winking.” I held my phone out so he could see the picture I captured and she was mid-wink.

Now the doctor kept having grim outlooks for Ms. Victoria, and each time she exceeded expectations. They said she would need a respirator for three days… Try three hours. They said she would need a pediatric cardiologist… Nope not our little trooper. They said she’d have eye issues, nah not our Victoria. She’s been a little boss since her arrival.

About three days into her 77 day NICU stay I looked at my wife and said, “Our donation has come full circle.”

My wife didn’t realize what I was referring to and asked “What donation?”

“Our daughter paved the way for our granddaughter to make it through.” I replied

We cried some tears at that realization. It was a very humbling moment. We wanted to help another couple out and turns out the couple we helped was our daughter and her boyfriend.

During the time my daughter was out after giving birth I was doing my job, doing the job left empty by my daughter’s departure, driving for Lyft and spending all of the time I can at the hospital with my granddaughter. I was a tired granddad. Finally after 77 days in NICU, Victoria was discharged. Even that exceeded expectations as she left two weeks before her due date. The doctors said she would be discharged on her due date, not our little boss… She does what she wants.

 We got her settled into her daily routine at home and the first time arrived that she would stay the night at Grandad and Grandma’s house. She was being fussy. She refused to sleep, and I was trying every trick I know to get her to nod off short of a nice warm bottle of Nyquil. Finally I turned on the instrumental Christmas music channel on my Pandora player. Wouldn’t you know it, she settled right down and slept for three hours straight. I thought to myself, damn you are a Christmas girl, just like your great grandmas.

 

Now she is a healthy two year old, and the only thing stunted is her verbal communication skills and she is gaining ground on that now here newest words are Orange and Yellow. Her doctor’s don’t even consider her a preemie anymore and treat her like a normal toddler! Yep She’s a boss.