Late night blues

No matter how old you get there’s always a part of you that wants to go back and finish the job when the chance was there. But later in life the million dollar question is that how lucky you are to not have to fight the urge to just pull the trigger until it goes click? That intense feeling, curled up deep inside at the bottom of your stomach, caused by doubts and the gaping visions regarding the anticipated outcome of all the fucked up s**t that has been pulled since the very beginning of your fortunate existence. You try to cry, but there are absolutely no words left to convince the eyes to get moist and send a gentle stream carrying the memories of the cats in the cradle and the man in the box. What if you knew that there isn’t much that the future holds? Could you still be happy? What is one to do when all goes blue? When no comfort is to be felt and the cards have been dealt? It’s true what they say “You are the only real obstacle in your path to a fulfilling life” but no one tells you the other part of the story, the “real obstacle” has been created by the inhabitants of the crazy little thing called your life. I would love to play spin the bottle with the reaper again for the fifth f*****g time but I’m aware of the fact that I’m not one of the lucky few who get to experience the sweet comforting kiss and lay to rest prematurely. I am one of those who will have the misfortune of fading away, shattered from the inside by the songs sung by the demons of my past, present and the god damned future.

“For all I care I may have to bear, all the burden of life for there’s no one to share.”