Chapter Seven: Is This The End?

Major feels this chapter! ; A ;

I opened my mouth to call out to Shizu-chan, but I was quickly forced to cover it, in fear of throwing up… For the third time.

 

I had never thrown up before, just as I had never been sick. All I knew was that it left a vile taste in your mouth, a burning sensation in your throat, tears in your eyes, and your head hovering over a toilet. I opened my mouth again, trying to swallow all the vile tastes before I called out. “Sh-Shizu…” I called out, speaking as loudly as I could. I heard his footsteps come closer, and I closed my eyes at the sound of him. His presence calmed me. “S**t, how’d you get all the way in here?!” I heard Shizu-chan exclaim before he began rubbing my back with his left hand. “With wobbly steps.” I muttered, trying to tease, but my voice was too weak to tell. Shizu-chan sighed as he picked up a plastic cup from next to the bathroom sink and filled it, walking back to me. He sat down, leaning against the wall, and held me, shifting me in his arms so my feet were against the wall, I was in his lap, and my head was in his chest… until he made me look up. “Open your mouth.” He demanded as he held out one pill, as well as the glass of water. I washed the first pill down with water, same with the second, before drinking th rest of it, to soothe my burning throat. I lazily put the empty plastic cup on the tiled floor, resting my head on Shizu-chan’s chest again as I hugged him, wrapping my legs around him lightly. He still felt so nice, so cool…

 

“Oi, don’t fall asleep here, it’s unhealthy.” Shizu-chan warned, and I opened my eyes, even though I didn’t remember closing them. “But I’m tiiiiired…” I muttered, causing Shizu-chan to sigh. He shifted somewhat, linking his arms under my backside before lifting me up, causing me to wrap my arms and legs tighter around him. “Yeah, yeah, I know, I know. I’m just carrying you to the bedroom.” Shizu-chan assured before I could even complain, and that made me exhale happily. I smiled into his shoulder, closing my eyes again. Shizu-chan placed me gently onto the bed, and then laid beside me. I immediately rolled onto my side, wrapping my arms around him, wishing I could be as cool as he was. The blond stroked my hair gently, making me smile weakly. “Thank you, Shizu-chan…” I whispered quietly, my words muffled as I spoke into his shirt. “Hm? What for?” He asked, sounding genuinely confused. That’s my Shizu-chan, as dense as always~~. I sighed happily as I looked back up at him again. “For taking care of me, of course~~…” I chirped, glad that I was beginning to get my old voice back already. That medicine must’ve been some top-cut stuff, that’s for sure. Shizu-chan chuckled slightly, hugging me tightly. “Don’t worry about it, okay?” He replied kindly.

 I hugged him back silently, kissing him lightly before I closed my eyes again. “Just rest now, okay?” He asked, and I nodded. “Okay…” I replied tiredly, letting my body relax.

 

After that, I don’t remember…

 

** The Next Day**

 

I opened my eyes slowly, awakened by a faint sound. I hated the fact that I was a light sleeper, a single bird could interrupt me in the middle of the night, even if I was sleeping as deeply as I could. Shizu-chan had only one arm draped around me, so I was able to sit up easily. I smiled as I sat up, noticing that I seemed to had made a full recovery, except for a dull headache. I decided to ignore the fact that a noise had woken me up, as I could not remember what it was, and the air had gone silent. I picked up my jeans, sliding them on before pulling out my normal phone, checking the time. It was already 9 o’clock, d****t… I slept for almost 15 hours…

 

I was about to put the phone back in my pocket, when I saw that I had two new messages, both from… Celty? I tilted my head in confusion as I opened my inbox, and began reading what had only recently been sent.

 

“Izaya, are you okay?! People keep saying that they’ve seen you in Shizuo’s house! I know I shouldn’t be worrying about you like this, but Shinra’s worried sick as well! If you get hurt, just contact me, and I’ll take you to Shinra, okay?” The first message read, and I chuckled upon reading it. Who would’ve thought that Celty was actually worried about me? I opened up the second message, wondering what it was about. “Izaya, you’re freaking me out here! First the hospital, now you?! Contact me as soon as you can, before Shinra has a fit, okay?” I sighed. I didn’t need to remember about the hospital… I wanted to forget it… I wanted to forget it so badly!

 

“Don’t worry about me, and don’t mention the hospital incident to me. I don’t like the thought of it… Too much death for me…” I typed, hitting send before I could even consider otherwise. What I had just written sounded nothing like me. She was probably going to think that I was Shizu-chan, trying to sound like me… Yeah, Celty’s gonna think that. I could just tell.

 

I was about to slip the phone into my pocket when I felt it vibrate again, making me sigh. “That was fast, Celty…” I muttered to myself… But the message wasn’t from Celty…

 

It was Neo.

 

I felt my eyes widen as I opened my inbox, and gulped before I began to read the message.

 

“I must applaud you, Kanra. You took the explosion better than I expected, in all honesty, I’m surprised you haven’t committed suicide yet. Well done on handling your first “sick day”, shall we call it? You’re lucky that you have Shizuo to help you. VERY lucky. I have to wonder… What would you do if I were to blow up that apartment whilst you weren’t in it? What if I killed him? Who would you have left, Kanra?”

 

Neo… He knew where I was, and who I was with… He knew my biggest weakness… I could feel myself trembling, and I fell to my knees, tears welling in my eyes. I shook my head as I let the phone fall onto the carpet next to me, tears falling down my cheeks, and I immediately began to try and wipe them away. “No… No, no, no, no, no…!” I muttered to myself angrily, not wanting to wake Shizu-chan. I screwed my eyes shut, trying to stop the tears, but they just kept coming. I knew now that I had allowed myself to become weak, and was now dependant on Shizu-chan. Whimpers began to escape my lips, then sobs, despite my best efforts to hold them back. I went on all fours, my whole body trembling as I nearly fell to the ground.

 

“I-Izaya…?!” I heard Shizu-chan stutter, but I was unable to react to his shocked voice, as I was trying to handle the shock myself. He pulled me into his arms, holding me tightly. “Izaya, what’s wrong?!” He asked, but I just shook my head, my tears wiping away on his shirt. “Izaya… You gotta tell me something…” Shizu-chan muttered quietly, rocking me back and forth slightly. Despite my reluctance, I was somewhat calmed by this small gesture, and my sobs grew quieter. “Sh-Shizu-chan… We have to… Get out of here…” I muttered. “What’re you talking about?” Shizu-chan asked, confused. I took a few deep breaths before I wiped my eyes to look up at him. “Neo knows I’m living with you… He knows about us… He knows I was sick yesterday… He knows everything! He’s threatening… To kill you…!” I spat, not sure if I was more upset or angry. I had to go and be such an idiot, didn’t I?! I hid my face in Shizu-chan’s shirt, trying to consider what options I had…

 

I could run away with Shizu-chan, but that would only cause commotion, so Neo was sure to find us after only a limited amount of time… Shizu-chan would still be in danger…

I could let things stay as they are, but that was just plain senseless… That would only mean Shizu-chan and I were going to continue being monitored, and Neo was going to act sooner…

 

Those were the only options, right? I was stuck in such a bad situation, and I was usually able to get out of those on my own… But now, I had grown attached to someone, and I’d dragged them into this mess! I wasn’t sure of what I would do if I let Shizu-chan die… No matter what choice I made, it seemed that Shizu-chan’s life became a pawn, ready to be sacrificed by Neo… I didn’t want that… There had to be another way, right…? What if I could just…

 

Run away from it all?

 

Wait… What if I actually ran away…? It would practically destroy me, but… Shizu-chan would be safe… That would solve it, right…? Neo would know that leaving Shizu-chan hurt me, and to him, that would be enough punishment as it was…

 

I didn’t have to even consider how to do it… It came to me instantly…

 

**Shizuo’s P.O.V**

 

Izaya really was mercurial.

 

One second, he’s digging his head into my chest out of fear, and the next, he’s offering to make me breakfast? Oh well, whatever got his mind off what was going on. I didn’t know how that twisted mind of his worked, but maybe cooking was some sort of medium…? Hey, wait a sec…! This was my house! He has no right to offer-! Ugh… Oh well… This place was basically ours now, so it wasn’t as if he was just going to eat my food, then run off.

 

I swirled around a glass of milk as I listened to Izaya humming happily over the sound of the frying pan. “What’re you making, anyway?” I asked, and Izaya smiled at me from over his shoulder. “Just eggs, not too much~~. I hope you like scrambled, Shizu-chan~~.” He chirped, and I smirked at him. Yeah… He’s definitely mercurial. Well, I couldn’t argue about that, I mean, I was the one who had to go and fall in love with him, right?

 

I was snapped out of my thoughts as Izaya’s pale, scrawny hand placed a plate in front of me, with a small pile of light orange scrambled egg on it. I smiled slightly as the pleasant aroma filled my nostrils, and looked at Izaya as he sat down beside me. He immediately scooped up some of the egg on his fork, eating as if it had been his first meal in a week. “You’re certainly enjoying it.” I pointed out, and Izaya pouted at me, swallowing his mouthful of egg before speaking. “Think about it, I didn’t eat yesterday, or the day before that, and I only had a sandwich the day before. I’m not as strong as you, Shizu-chan, I actually need food, you know~~.” Izaya chirped, before continuing to eat. In all honesty, I hadn’t even noticed the lack of food ever since Izaya came into my apartment. I shrugged as I dug my fork into the egg, and was slightly surprised that, when I pulled the fork away, strings of yellow connected it to the egg. “Oh yeah, I put some cheese in there, too~~. There’s also some pepper and salt in there, but only a little~~.” Izaya pointed out. I chuckled slightly as he continued to eat, then I jerked my fork slightly, forcing the strings of cheese to fall back onto the pile. It may just be a pile of orange gooey stuff, but it was made by Izaya. Not too long ago, I would’ve thrown the plate at him, in case he had drugged it or something… But now, I was actually looking forward to eating it. Despite everything, I somehow managed to fall for the b*****d… I wonder how long I liked him for? It might’ve been since the moment I met him, but even if it was, heck, I don’t think my mind would be able to accept it. I glanced over at the male as I put the first forkful of egg in my mouth, and found myself amazed as to how good Izaya had made it taste. He’d only added cheese, salt and pepper, but it still tasted so good… How was he able to do that?! Maybe it was just because I loved him… Yeah, that was it…

 

“Izaya… I love you.” I muttered to the other male after I finished my first mouthful, and I smirked when his pale face turned red. He looked away from me as he finished his mouthful, then looked back. “Wh-where did that come from~~?!” He asked, sounding like an embarrassed high schooler, which made me chuckle. “What? It’s the truth, why can’t I say it?” I asked, which made Izaya look down. “Don’t just blurt it out like that~~!” The raven exclaimed. “Why? Don’t tell me it embarrassed you?” I teased, picking up my next forkful of egg, getting ready to put it in my mouth.

 

I opened my mouth, but something stopped me before I took my next mouthful.

 

I looked over to see that Izaya had grasped my wrist, but I hardly even felt it. It stopped me, nonetheless. He was… trembling…? “Oi, what’s wrong?” I asked, knowing that he had a lot to worry about. “Don’t eat that.” Izaya ordered weakly. “Why not?” I asked bluntly, seeing no reason as to why I shouldn’t eat the whole damn thing. It was the best thing I’d had to eat for months. “It’s undercooked.” Izaya assured with a trembling voice, but I just shrugged. “I like my eggs like this.” I assured, trying to put the egg back in my mouth. Izaya stood up quickly, making the wooden chair he was sitting on hit the tiled floor as he pulled back on my wrist with all his strength, which to me, wasn’t that much. “Shizu-chan, don’t eat it!” Izaya cried out, as if me doing so would physically hurt either he or I. “Izaya, calm down, it tastes great.” I assured, bringing the fork to my mouth with ease, chewing on the enjoyable meal. “Shizu-chan, spit it out!” Izaya argued, shaking my arm somewhat. For some reason, he felt somewhat stronger now, but not by much. I looked up at him, and froze when I saw that he had tears in his eyes. He seemed to notice me looking at him, and stopped shaking my arm, leaving him to grip my arm with trembling hands. He squeezed my wrist tightly, so that it almost hurt as he looked down. “I’m sorry…” He whispered quietly. “Oi, what’re you apologising -?” I began, but I stopped as I tried to stand, only to find that my legs began to shake uncontrollably. “For…?” I muttered tiredly, falling to my knees as my surroundings began to spin. I was confused. I felt dizzy. I couldn’t move…

 

Izaya crouched down in front of me, hugging me silently for a moment, and tightly, too, as if it were the last time he would be able to hug me. I could feel his body twitching, just as it did when he sobbed. “I’m so sorry, Shizu-chan…” Izaya whispered before pulling away, so he could look at me. It was obvious to see it now… He’d been crying.

 

I wanted to hold his face in my hands, just out of habit, but I couldn’t make my arms move at all. “I-Izaya…?” I asked, wanting to know what was going on, what he was thinking, if he was okay… There was so much I wanted to ask, but I was losing the strength to do it. I felt myself falling back, and I felt Izaya strain his arms so I wouldn’t hit the floor hard, but softly. He crawled over me, holding my face in his hands, even though I wanted to do it to him, he seemed to think that I was in more need of comforting than he was. One of his tears fell on my own cheek just before he screwed his eyes shut, leaning in his forehead on mine. “You’re going to fall asleep soon, Shizu-chan… And when you wake up, I’ll be gone… You’ll be safe that way… I promise, I’ll make sure you’re safe… I promise… I promise…” He whispered, which made my eyes widen. “Izaya… No… D-don’t do this…” I begged.

 

Of course… Izaya must’ve actually drugged my eggs… He must’ve changed his mind, but now that I was like this… He had no choice… God d****t, Izaya…! Don’t… Don’t leave…! I could feel my eyelids getting heavy… I didn’t want to close them… If closing my eyes meant that I would lose Izaya, I never wanted to even risk blinking…! I’d never felt so strongly about anyone like this, not even Kasuka, but I knew one thing…

 

I really did love Izaya… And I wanted to be with him.

 

Izaya opened his eyes, still leaning his forehead on mine. “I don’t want to leave you…” He whispered, as if he had read my thoughts. “Izaya… please…” I whispered, feeling tears in my own eyes, which was pretty much a first for me. “I love you…” Izaya whispered, pressing his lips onto mine softly. In that single gesture, I was able to read so much, and I believe that Izaya knew it, too… He told me he loved me. He told me to be happy. He told me to be safe. He told me I was kind. He told me to live a happy life. He told me he would miss me. He told me he would never forget me. He told me… Not to look for him…

 

Then, my eyes closed… I lost all sense of reality…

 

And I lost Izaya…