Chapter 6

You weren't there

        “You’ve really grown, Hope.” Mom noticed, as we casually walked in the park. A cold front seemed to be coming and the wind might have been a little harsh, but that didn’t matter, because she was right beside me.
              “Ya, mom. It’s been over 9 years since you left.” I replied, trying to sound okay with it.  
              “Wow that long, huh?”
              I shook my head.
       “Time does seem to go by so quickly.”  The cold wind pierced my eyes, making it hard to see but from what I could see, she had a concerned look on her face.
              “What’s wrong?”
       “I feel horrible for this.” She replied. Standing still with both hands in my pockets, I began to rock back and forth, counting the silence in seconds. Finally she spoke again. “I should have never left. I was stupid.”
              “Mom, you did what you had to.” I comforted her. Although it hurt me, it would hurt me even worse to see her upset.
              “No, I could have stayed. I chose to leave, and now that I think about it, I don’t know why.”
              “Can I ask you something?”
              “It hasn’t stopped you before…” she laughed.
              “Is Kevin dad’s child? He only three yet you left 9 years ago.”
       She looked down at her feet, scraping away the worn path. “No, he isn’t.” She looked up at me. “Can you believe I’ve had three husbands?”
              I shook my head.
       “Kevin is my second husband’s kid but after the divorce I didn’t want Kevin staying with such a man. So…I brought him to you guys, hoping he could have the life I couldn’t give him.” Ushering me to the same bench where I had fallen asleep on, we sat down. “Out of every marriage that I’ve been in, I must say, your father has been the best.”
              “What about your husband now?” I asked. I glanced down to where she held my hand, gently stroking it. She smiled.
              “Oh he’s great and I love him so much…but there are times when I look at him and wish he were your father.”
              “Why’d you leave dad in the first place?”
       “I think I wasn’t ready to be a committed mother. Hope, you have to understand, your father and I had you when we were in high school. Unlike your father, I didn’t take it well. I thought because of you, I would never be able to achieve my dreams. Luckily, your dad helped me get through it and for a couple of years everything seemed to work out just fine. He stayed in high school and graduated, I got a part-time job. By the way, we were living with your grandmother…” She laughed nervously, “I managed to stay at my job for a year but then things became weird. Your father and I began to fight constantly, more on money issues then anything, and I just didn’t think I could take it anymore. Against the odds, we got married. We thought if we were a real family we could fix our problems. It turned out to make everything a whole lot worse. So…one day I just packed up and left, not caring where I landed.”
              “What about me? Didn’t you care enough about me?”
       “Oh honey, I did! I really did. I was planning to come back, honestly! I just needed time to myself. I thought if I could jump start a career, I would be able to show your father I was ready—“
              “But you never did come back.”
       “No, I didn’t.” She took a deep breath and exhaled. “The last time I ever saw your father and you were when we were getting divorced.”
       This was all too overwhelming. Why hadn’t I ever been aware what had been going on. Of course, I was only a little girl but still…I wanted to know so much more.
              “How many children do you have now?”
              “Including Kevin and you, 4”
              “Four?”
              “Yes, Tyler and Casie; your little siblings.”
              “Wow,” I said, excited. Would I ever meet them?
              “What do you do now?”
              “I’m a secretary.”
              “For what business?”
              “Oh my, you sure do ask a lot of questions…”
              “Well ya mom, I haven’t seen you in 9 years.”
              “I work for Apple.”
              “You mean Apple computers?!”
              “Yes.”
       “The maybe you could get me one!” I joked. I don’t think I had ever heard her laugh that happily. Even if it were for only a minute, I would have traded my whole life in, just to see her.
      
      
      
       “I’ll see you soon, okay?” She said, unlocking the door of the car. We were pulled up in front of my house; her visit was over.
              “Sure, but promise me you’ll come back?” I begged, stepping out.
       With a warm embrace, she said, “Of course. I’m not the same woman I use to be.” And for once, I believed her. Quickly heading to the door, I was about to go in, when I thought of something else to ask. I turned around, hoping for her to be stalling, but she had already left. My question could wait until next time.  
       When I walked in, dad was waiting for me. With nothing to say, he hugged me. I closed my eyes, smelling the cologne he had always worn. Had he worn it with mom too?
              “Did you have a fun time?” He asked finally.
              “Yes,” I replied, letting go of him.
              “I hope this doesn’t change anything between us.”
       “No dad, you did nothing wrong. Things happen for a reason.” I said, smiling. I thought back to that horrible night, when my eyes awoke to my dad in distressed. And how today, sitting on that same bench, everything seemed to connect. But wait…I had run, like a coward no less…
              “Dad, thanks for bringing me back home.”
              “What are you talking about honey?”
              “When I had run away; you found me and brought me back.”
              “Honey, I didn’t find you…”
              “Huh?”
       “A young man showed up at the door step with you in his arms. If he hadn’t brought you back, I don’t think I would have ever realized you had left.”
              Angelo!
       “He was nice enough to tell me he had seen you running and thought you looked kind of troubled. He said he was a friend of yours.” Dad thought for a moment. “Aww yes, his name was Angelo. Do you know him?”
       “Yes.”  Angelo had brought me back. But why? After calling him those horrible names and then…not believing in him, why had he saved me? And because of him, I had gotten to see my mother, too.
               “Dad?!” I asked urgently, “Where did he go after he dropped me off?”
              “I don’t know. I went to put you down on the couch, and when I returned he was gone.”
       Without thinking, I ran upstairs, expecting him to be there waiting.  Of course, after what had happened, I didn’t think he would stay. And I was right. Looking around my empty room, I almost imagined him sitting on my bed, smiling. But the bed was made and he was nowhere in sight.
       “Angelo?” I whispered. With no reply, I sat on the bed, staring out of the window. The trees were being knocked around again, just like the night I had found him; or he had found me. Everything seemed so dark in this house, the silence was too overbearing. As I was about to head downstairs, I spotted a piece of paper sticking out of one of my yearbooks. It was the 04-05 book, the one I had snatched away from Angelo. Gently opening it to the page the paper stuck out, I wondered why he was so fascinated with it. Of course, the paper bookmarked the same page my picture was on. I peered over the piece of paper, wondering how long ago he had looked at this. Opening it, it said,
      
                              I’ll always hold your wish

Author's Note

Rough draft