Chapter 1

 

Chapter 1

 

 

 

 

 

A beautiful morning in Apollo Falls, the sun shines brightly through the thin overcast of clouds that floats over us like sheets of heaven falling to grace us with their presence. This is where my nightmare begins. I walk down Chasers Avenue with my boyfriend Austin, my best friend Erika, my cousin Thomas, Christa, Taylor, and Nathan, a kid from school who just, sort of tagged along with us this morning. I walk with Austin’s hand grasped in mine and the hood of my black Nautica hoodie pulled up just enough to block the path of my honey brown eyes from the horrid piece of road trash that sits just on the left side of Chasers Avenue, a run down abandoned mansion of some sort that was once called “Egnaro Manor” but is now referred to by the folks around here as “Hell on Chasers”. Master Egnaro, a man who once owned the builing was a very shady man. My father used to tell me stories about Mr. Egnaro, he described so detailed. He was an old man, with gray skin that matched the skies of Apollo Falls when we are gifted with the rainy season, and a smile of perfectly pearl teeth that sparkled like porcelin. His hair drooped over the entire right side of his face and covered one of his sparking blue eyes with a curtain of curly, jet black hair. It is said that Mr. Egnaro passed away many, many years ago in a strange accident somehow involving a theatre mask, which made me wonder how one may have an accient with a theatre mask. People say that after his accident, horrific screams have been heard coming from the manor. These screams have been said to be so demonic, so violent, it was as if the fear and horror of every being on Earth was released in what we now know to be called “Chasers Screams”.

Just when we walk past the manor is when we hear it, this is our first experience with the Chasers Screams. We all jump and my breathing picks up its pace, I want to run away but I just stand there, down the street from the gates of Hell itself, as if my feet were nailed where I stand.

I search the faces of my friends and stop at Christa, her emerald green eyes are sparkling with facination. I am beginning to guess that Christa is sort of the “adventuring type”, she has a mischeavious grin on her face and I can tell the gears in her head are turning at such a rate that I m surprised it doesn’t implode on the spot.

“We should go in.” she finally says after observing the horrifying sight before us.

I look around, terrified and speak up trying to hide the fear boiling inside me,

“No, let’s not. Let’s just, just walk away. Just walk away. Come on”, I try to head up the avenue and look to others for support, but sadly I find none. Thomas seems to agree with Christa’s insane suggestion. He looks at me and cracks a clever smile.

“Sounds to me like someone’s scared. You aren’t scared, are you Lex?” He says to me with a smug look on his face. I look him straight in firmilar brown eyes that are one of the many contributions to the assumption that we are twins, I try my hardest to shadow my fear realize I have failed. I give up on my attempt to be brave and just try to talk them into a different idea.

“No, of course not. I just really don’t think it’s a very good idea." I flip my hair out of my face and move it behind my ear, "How about we head down the road and just hang out at the park?” I say with a somewhat convincing smile.

To me, this diversion sounds like an accetable detour, but I was fast to find out I was wrong. Thomas glances back in my direction, then down the avenue toward the manor.

“Or you could just stop being such a wimp and take a risk for once”, he looked back at me out of the corner of his eye, “Come on Cuz, it can’t be that bad” He says with that smile that always means "let's start some trouble". Thomas had always been one of my most trusted family members, next to my mom and sister he is one of the only people on this planet that I would trust with me life. He has watched over me like hawk since we were little and has always been there when I needed him. People always ask us if we are twins not matter how many times we clarify that we are cousins. He shares the black hair that we have both recently dyed and the striking brown eyes that we inherited from our grandfather.

I look ahead and try to understand what my cousin means by “can’t be that bad”. I wonder if he is seeing the same thing I’m seeing, the way the dark clouds circling the manor contrast against the blue skies of Apollo Falls, the vines running up the walls of the building anchoring it to the ground. I silently pray that my parents will call or that I will find some reason to get everyone away from this terrible place. Before I can make another attempt to convince Christa and Thomas how horrible their idea is, Thomas cuts me off,

“Come on Lex, let’s go” he quickly grabs my arm, “Come on Cuz, come on!”

Before I have time to respond, I am being dragged up the avenue toward the manor and I am becoming more and more terrified as I see that Hell on Chasers Avenue is coming closer and closer into my sight.

Reviews

[lunatic.]

The very first lines were in past tense, and then you go on into present tense. keep the tense to only one.

"I look around, pretty much terrified then I speak up trying not to sound as scared as I really am," maybe rephrase this so it flows better eg: "I look around feeling terrified, hiding the fear in my voice as i speak"


"Ya, come on lets go guys. Come on you're all being a bunch of sissys." maybe the dialogue could improve as well.


Overall a good start. I havent time to read the rest, but I'll make a note to continue!