Mini fridges and TV's

True story - A loving discussion with my husband.

He’s trying to glare at me. Slurping iced coffee loudly, like it’s a bowl of ramen (barbarian). Before slamming his glass on the counter (surely a bottle of Bud would have been more effective).

Admittedly, that made me jump - slightly.  

I can see the faint quirk of a triumphant smile.  

“Would you like a napkin love? -- you have....” 

*Points to the frothy milk mustache he wears.  

“Stop with the glaring and eyebrow raise, you’re not very good at it.” 

*He swipes angrily at his upper lip. 

Grunting his mocking retort - parroting my words back as he rinses his glass. 

Except he flicks the mixer so hard the water comes out with the force of a hurricane. 

I smirk and bite my bottom lip in an effort not to laugh, he’s rather pissed off already, water dripping off his beard on to his already soaked t-shirt. 

*I’m momentarily distracted by the flex in his arms... momentarily 

“We are not putting a mini fridge in our bedroom Lani or any room!”  

“You owe me” (is his man-child response)

*Insert eye roll...

“What... how on earth do I owe you?” 

“Because you had a holiday in the UK” 

*Stops folding the mountain of baby clothes... 

“It was grans funeral and you came with me you dork!” 

*Mutters 

“Yeah ok, but I was only there a week. Some one had to pay...” 

“Don’t you dare finish that sentence” 

“You got the latest iPhone”  

“You’re being ridiculous - and... who’s got that phone now smart a*s?”  

“Yeah well it was your birthday present and you gave it back to me. How bloody ungrateful are you!” 

“Did I not say thank you? I had... have a phone I’m perfectly happy with. If I wanted a phone that gigantic I’d just carry an iPad.” 

“If we have a mini fridge in our room you could put mijo’s bottles in there, and I won’t have to get up all the time.”  

*Scoffs

“Like that one time you got up in May, Pfft!!, did you also forget our son in still breast fed? The bottles are for when he’s with you or a sitter” 

“Well then it would be easy for when you’re expressing!” 

“No it won’t that milk goes in the freezer.”  

“Yeah well we could put a few beers in there and some... some fruit” 

“Fruit ha! You’re kicking your own a*s with this ridiculous argument love” 

“We could watch the football and have beers or wine, BOOM, and it’s all right there in our room” 

*Wriggles his eyebrows like throwing in wine is clever and enticing.  

“How is watching football on a laptop in bed with ear buds in even mildly better than sitting in the actual lounge watching on your big a*s TV” 

“Well I thought we could get a TV as w... 

“No and no” 

-

-

“Be a love and pour me a glass of juice please” 

“Get it yourself!” 

-

-

*I'm definitely not laughing 

much.

Author's Note

He’s a really quite lovely, but suffers from stupid on occasion.

Reviews

[Annette Pisano-Higley]

“Like that time you got up in May”- haaaaaaa! No Lani, not you too! Mini fridges and TVs- very serious symptoms of ‘Mancave-itis’... you are so clever and comical my ohana. This poem has great timing, visuals and conversational style. You crazy kids! Your love shines through your words and they are a joy to read. Thank you for letting us be a fly on the wall to join in the marital fun and banter, it is a privilege and a great joy! Xo Xo

[Island Hippy]

You’re lovely, many mahalo ohana! He’s a keeper that’s for sure.

[barleygirl]

I admire you for showing one's human flaws in such a glaring light! This situation is highly relatable & also unique in the details (great zingers in both directions). I get the idea you mean to show HIS flaws mostly, but you come across a little like a shrew, yourself! I'd definitely say this tussle was a draw (but I know you're not asking!) *wink! wink!* Love your snappy use of dialogue! (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie

[Paul Bell]

Wouldn't it be great if women could express beer?
You sure the big screen couldn't fit in the bedroom.
Just think. Big screen, fridge, beer expresser. I've just invented utopia.

[Island Hippy]

Lol... You! Somehow I think my husband would agree. Mahalo Paul x

[Gee]

Now this is right up my street, love this type of writing.Much better for me as I can understand it ( I'm thick you see)
Hope you are all well, good morning

[Island Hippy]

Oh hush you 🙂 you’re all clever witt and funny as hell! Many mahalo for reading Gee, you and Paul Bell kind of inspired this, mainly because you two are so good at spinning a yarn. Good morning x

[Gee]

You mix me up with another my little pen wielding Kiwi fruit :)
Paul's writing set me on the way to trying my hand at similar.

[Onlyme]

Ah the banter and cheeky coments of loving someone like a game of ping pong back and forth.

[Island Hippy]

Aloha Dee, mahalo for your cool comment, appreciate your visit. Izzy.

[Onlyme]

Izzy, made me think of myself and my own man and our banter and antics together, love is grand
read moreIzzy, made me think of myself and my own man and our banter and antics together, love is grand
and crazy, thanks for the reminders ☺

[Island Hippy]

😉 it really is! What a lovely response