Night train to rhythm 'n blues

inspired....

takin' a slow train
trippin' & rappin'
them fat scats
pickin' up boys on
the block, sayin' do
you got a ride
to the next joint?

pick me up on the
night train at the
corner of rhythm 'n blues
do you like jammin'
with them cats?

draw them crowds
in close with doo wops
grooves 'n tappin' shoes
your diabetic diamonds
& booze .... got that
boogie in your mood

while my girls play
them lovers tunes for
greasy spectators of
trains, & graffiti walls
do you got a place
I could lay at?
ridin' the night train
to rhythm 'n blues.

Author's Note

Inspired by Annette Pisano Higley's 'Night Train'.

Reviews

[barleygirl]

Love your rhythmic lyrical riff here! This is a style of writing that I very much enjoy reading & writing. You've conveyed the toe-tapping nature of this by using good word rhythm & word sounds. First stanza -- "fat scats" sounds like a typo . . . ("scat" is s**t in my book!) Love your trippy trippin' trip.

[Island Hippy]

Aloha barleygirl :) what a great review! Haha, the scat thing ... also a style of singing (jazz) Ella Fitzgerald was well known for scat during lyrical performance (vocal styling... ski-ba-bop-doo-ba-bop)
Mahalo again for your great review.

[barleygirl]

I love a write that teaches me something new!

[Ty]

If this isn't the smoothest piece. Love it. Tribute to the jazz era, maybe?

[Island Hippy]

Aloha Ty, I appreciate the lovely comment! Definitely a tribute to jazz... a fusing of music. the hum of the subway, with a kind of blues & Motown vibe.

[Ty]

My pleasure! I have a piece entitled 'Jazz' myself, take a read if you'd like!

[Ken Simm.]

Excellent vibe. Great R&B lyric. I'm imaging now.

[Island Hippy]

Mahalo for your great comment Ken :)

[Thomas Fitzgerald]

I find myself tapping along and toe touching even though there is no music, bravo! Great Read.

[Island Hippy]

Aloha Thomas, I appreciate your visit and the lovely comment. Mahalo. Izzy

[wordman]

reminded me of the sixties,great theme

[Island Hippy]

Aloha wordman, mahalo much! Definitely had that era in mind.

[wordman]

my pleasure !

[Coyote Poetry]

I need a ride on this train. Good song, drink and many friends near. I liked the poem. A hopeful and fun ride on the night train dear friend. Thank you for sharing the amazing poetry.
Coyote

[Island Hippy]

Aloha John, I'm sorry I missed this. Mahalo much for your great comment I really appreciate it

[Coyote Poetry]

I liked this one my friend and you are welcome.

[Sinbulvinter]

Love this. It does feel like some old jazz blues.
Thoughtprovoking piece as well, relatable. I feel like sometimes we all end up on the train to rhythm 'n blues.
I do love the rhythm and and slight southern style of this, makes me wanna sing it aloud and tap my heel to the beat. XD

[Island Hippy]

Mahalo my friend, I appreciate your time and great comment. I did try and capture a very particular vibe in this with the language and mood. Mahalo again.

[Sinbulvinter]

Youre very welcome!

[WoodenChair]

not all spectators are greasy

[Dr. YumnaKay]

"your diabetic diamonds
& booze .... got that
boogie in your mood"

I liked the rhythm in it. Needed to read something like this atm. Glad I did :)

[Island Hippy]

Mahalo much Yumna

[Dr. YumnaKay]

You're welcome, Izzy. :)

[pia]

It was as if i was singing a song...!! i loved the rhythm in this poem !! And the unusual language made it even more special

[Island Hippy]

Mahalo Pia, I appreciate your visit an comment. I tried to capture a very specific vibe with this poem, I'm glad the language worked ok.