take me dancing
on Saturday night
when the fever
starts long and slow
my night potion;
physical, spiritual
emotion - always
arriving bought &
paid for with smiling
touching eyes
of such fondness,
sweeping & delicate
take me flying with,
dancing feet my darling
fingertips meet my senses,
no climbing fences
sparking this excess
of colliding souls - lead
me into temptation,
soothe my need, take me
dancing on Saturday night
I know that Saturday night feeling
you sit back after a long week
and by the time 8 pm kicks in
you get the fever
you wanna dress up and put that flower in your locks
and dance the night away with your baby
I like the way your sentences are crafted to be free & easily flowing from one idea to another, conveying the lack of inhibition that can be felt when dancing. Excellent action & imagery. There's a teensy bit of swirling madness developing as the message goes along, until the final stanza seems a little crazed, in a good way. I like your building up of energy this way.
Posted 7 Years Ago
7 Years Ago
Aloha barleygirl, that's a great comment I really appreciate your time. Mahalo!
Hello, Izzy! :)
This is a great write, lots of fun and love. My wife and I have a three year old. We dance at home pretty much every night.
Posted 7 Years Ago
7 Years Ago
Aloha mattavelli, Mahalo for your wonderful comment. That's a lovely thing to know, beautiful image... read moreAloha mattavelli, Mahalo for your wonderful comment. That's a lovely thing to know, beautiful image. My husband and I are expecting our first child in Sept. We have a lot to look forward to.
Aloha Izzy,
Your words sense complete surrender. Giving all of yourself, the dancing leading to romance. Dancing in a crowd but only aware of each other.
Fine write, enjoyed your work.
Richie b.
Posted 7 Years Ago
7 Years Ago
Mahalo for your lovely comment Richie I appreciate it.