A beautiful song

he sat, giddy and nervous 

in a small room 

painted duck egg blue

his knee bouncing 

driving her nuts 

she can't have been 

more than 21, maybe...

but she emanated 

this comforting warmth

that set me at ease 

I lay there quietly

while he talked and talked 

knee still bouncing 

I put out a hand to still him

then quiet... a smile and nod

she spoke very good English

littered with island slang 

and then the room filled 

with the most beautiful 

beating sound...badum, badum

then laughter, his nervous 

laughter, my watery smile

hands interlocked, and 

eyes fixed upon a tiny bean

singing a beautiful song.

Reviews

[Annette Pisano-Higley]

A precious heartbeat "badum, badum"-the song of new life so tenderly described. Your vivid imagery depicts this delicate, intimate moment so beautifully- "eyes fixed upon a tiny bean..singing a beautiful song."-unforgettable line. Love this!

[Island Hippy]

I aloha your beautiful words. Hearing the heartbeat for the first time is unforgettable xx

[Dr. YumnaKay]

"and then the room filled
with the most beautiful
beating sound...badum, badum"

It's funny how some songs forever remind us of a certain person.. You write with an excellent imagery to go along with emotions.
I enjoyed reading this. 😊

[Island Hippy]

Mahalo YumnaKay I appreciate your kind words.

[Dr. YumnaKay]

You're welcome. Always a pleasure reading good works 😊

[ms. barrie]

i enjoy visual writes, & this one is wrought with serenity for the heart. there's a sense of calmness, that warms the heart like milk and honey ...

this is a beautifully written gem -- thank you for sharing
- x

[Island Hippy]

Mahalo again for your beautiful words. I appreciate your time.

[ms. barrie]

you're most welcome ♡

[Alicia Cubatoso]

that was beautiful, I just liked it. hahah that's all I can say, what a pretty poem.

[Island Hippy]

Mahalo Alicia, that very nice of you to say I appreciate it.

[Coyote Poetry]

A beautiful vision create by your words. Beautiful place and song. A utopia for the lucky. Thank you my friend for sharing the amazing poetry.
Coyote

[Island Hippy]

Aloha Coyote, thank you very much I appreciate your comment. Izzy

[Coyote Poetry]

I did enjoy Izzy and you are welcome.

[Einstein Noodle]

'...duck egg blue" ...great visual and mood set ;) i was sure it is mom and dad and newborn in the room ..so your closing surprised me and made me re- read a couple times ..wonderful story ...well said ..i am in the room with everyone .. the tiny singing bean will just have to mystify me ..but i am happy with my imagination sparked in a childlike way .. enjoyed reading :)
E.

[Island Hippy]

Aloha, thank you for your lovely review. It was our first scan and hearing our little ones heart beat. A very special moment for my husband and I.

[Einstein Noodle]

aha! so i got it right...just confused the singer ;) congrats and the best of fortunes to you guys ...peace and love ;)

[Paul Bell]

Like poetry that sets the scene, inviting you in.
Lovely awkwardness to it, we can all relate to.
The start of a journey, which hopefully continues.
Got a feeling the sun is shining down on you, hope so.

[Island Hippy]

Mahalo Paul, a journey my husband and I are delighted to be on. The sun is definitely shining.

[Paul Bell]

Long may it continue.

[emmajoy]

'.. .. put out a hand to still him ~ then quiet... a smile and nod ~ ~ ~ she spoke very good English ~
littered with island slang .. '

What a fine alternating viewpoint to the 'play'. It's wonderful! You've slowly and surely created a sweet place with colours and movement that lead to a truly magical end.. or beginning.. both! The tale behind your words is - for me, beautifully different. .

[Island Hippy]

That's a humbling compliment, I very much appreciate your words. Mahalo Nui Loa emmajoy. Izzy

[emmajoy]

Smiling, and smiling again.

[Lorry]

A hearts beat is the most beautiful song, isn't it. Even imagining hearing it right now brings a sense of warmth and comfort.
A great piece with a really good tempo, (or should that be beat?), building into the finale.....only to realise that those first beats are only track one on a very long album ahead :)
Nicely captured.

[Island Hippy]

Mahalo Nui Nemo we are looking forward to all the moments, what a lovely review. Izzy

[Lorry]

You're welcome :)