Before Leaving

This is a very old poem. For a friend who left me alone in this world without notice.

 

I’ve left my poetry

On the desk

but kept

The impact uncovered

 

I’ve left our letters

 near the book shelf

and erased the dates and addresses

 

The balcony is open

the breeze is balanced

The armchair’s vacant for you

 

I’ve made your favorite meat preparation

but I’m sorry

If it’s become a touch cold by now

 

I’ve preserved our first night

Over the bed sheet

and it’s

Looking as good as new

 

I’ve trapped our promises 

in poor English, French, Russian, Marathi

Between the secret lines of my diary

 

I’ve kept our fights and stalemates

in the cupboard

But forgive me

I haven’t left any money

 

Before leaving

I locked my cancer

In the box which contains my ashes

 

Just dispose it carefully

Before you prepare to die.

Author's Note

I know you might feel this is very immature compared to my usual works.
This was written when I was 15. And for a very close friend. Many observations are between her and me, hence they might sound meaningless to you. Bear with me.

Reviews

[Annette Jay Sweeney]

Whenever you post these older works and say they are immature in comparison I wish I could show you how they look from my point of view. While you have surely grown, I think most 15 year-olds couldn't write like this. I know I didn't. There is something very different in your style, and this shows you had it even that early. These observations don't sound meaningless, I feel that there is a lot of meaning seeping out of it. The reader just needs to reach out and grasp it.

[indieRokker]

I liked this, the soulful words in the end hit home. Powerful words all into one, depends on the imapct this has on the reader, the writer always has to encounter the hardships of wat he/she writes. whether it be personal or not. You're experiences turn into great poetry. Lovely poem :)

Keep writing, always
indie♥

[Rose Davis]

Wow this is.. very great and strong feelings attached to it. it's a great piece and well, great written. Thank-you for sharing!

p.s.
15? Wow that must have been some moment with you and your friend! :/

[Brokensoul]

Hmmm...its laced with pain and anguish. I never knew a 15 year old could be so have such deep and profound thoughts.

[clauds294]

I can tell this is a very meaningful poem and lots is said for just you and her. it is still great even if immature

[zombiikillah666]

this immature..?
no way... that was
written way better
then i could ever hope
to write...lol...
your one smart cookie. (:
*buys you cookies* :D

[G. Anderson]

I think you are an amazing writer, and believe me, I'm not a*s-kissing. I fall in love with everything you write, even though most of it is bittersweet. But hey, I like bittersweet ;) I honestly have no suggestions on this piece. On your other works of art, I find them hard to understand, which is kind of an offset for me. This one I can relate and actually understand.
Bravo
~Gage

[Jeweliet]

this is very heartfelt, and i dont think it's immature. thanks for sharing.

[Devons]

A bleakly wistful and obliquely yearning poem. The imagery is clear and simple in some ways, therefore tender and more connecting to the soul..

The lines I really like above all others are:-

"Before leaving
I locked my cancer
In the box which contains my ashes"

..Horribly black but powerful.

[indianpaintbrushes]

there is maturity in this, sadness, and friendship. you expressed this beautifully

[Truly Ross-Wisehart]

This is an extremely mature write for a 15 year old. Such depth of thought and purpose as it pertains to the relationship lost. Beautiful.

~True