Is That You?

For a lost friend.

____________________________________________

 

That’s you

Ravaging in the streets

Cold as a morning whisper

Dead and novel

Raped by the false trap of eternity

Because life gave you

Nothing but infected skies and decayed walls

To hang your goals and mistakes on

 

We all

Cried in this same country

Exchanged gifts as a ritual

Treated each festival as routine

Spoke about our brittle marriage with faith

Clapped after each failure

With static eyes and unfinished sentences

 

That’s you

Lost in your own epilogue

A strange aftermath

A creature thrown onto a wall

Maybe only a reason to be withdrawn

From the usual pangs of reality

 

That’s you

Fittingly in the streets

Vanishing like the smoke of a factory

 

A spot of dust in a see-through atmosphere.

 

Reviews

[Mike Espinosa]

This is a pretty cool poem. Your emotions really showed through this.The second to last line "Vanishing like a the smoke of a factory" needs to be edited. I think you just need to ditch the 'a,' but I'm not 100% on how you want to change it. Other than that, this poem is pretty good. Great job.

[Prateeksha Khot]

an excellent poem from you, as always

[hanzabonanza]

I love your poems, so thoughtful, some of the best I've read on writerscafe- keep it up :)

[Nirmala]

A recognition, whether of a negative situation of depressive circumstances or positive, is recognition all the same and an acknowledgement of existence. Very moving and a great finale in the line ‘A spot of dust in a see-through atmosphere.’

[Gandré]

This poem makes me feel sentimental. I thought, Heidegger said that disclosure-as-such - the very opening up of significance in 'Dasein’s being' - is intrinsically hidden and needs to remain so if entities are to be properly disclosed in their being, this intrinsic concealment of disclosure-as-such is called the ‘mystery' and this poem is mystery. very nice work.

[Jessica Elaine Stevens ..]

Excellent imagery in this piece. My favorite line "Spoke about our brittle marriage with faith". I like the idea that we're holding on to the institutions and customs and traditions of the past without any real understanding of or belief in what they're supposed to mean. At least, that's what I got from it.

[shanise]

Thats really nice, it displays alot of emotion.. it makes me think of a couple people I know....

[R.S. Wilder]

mmmmmmmm... So many thoughts going through my head right now, and emotions I can't yet place. It's raw (which is a good thing) and very provocative in terms of thought-evoking. And it's not often that I am rendered speechless, so I salute you. An EXCELLENT write.

[clauds294]

This is a really amazing write. It really makes me think. Feels like everything is suppose to be a certain way but is it really meant to be like that? i really like it! Thanks for sharing!

[Rose Davis]

Wow this is awesome! I love this poem it's really moving and extremely emotionful... Ha it's not a word but it's still awesome. I can feel this poem. It's a wonderful piece cannot wait to read more from you :)
This is obviously reviewed by Rosemary J. Davis :D

[Jenny Nelson]

Very strong and to the point. Emotion that reaches out to the reader. Excellent piece!