Fourteen

After breakfast and a trip to the bathroom, she was settled in on the couch with a small laptop and water within reach. Genevieve looked at pages of different men’s bracelets and armbands before finding one that looked like it would suit the Alpha, a wide band with one side open. She could almost see the gold wire, the beads and gold spacers, even the frame to help it hold its shape.

Hunting for a suitable wolf’s head for the center, she stumbled across a World charm. It looked like someone had taken the card and managed to carve it into a small block of gold, cutting out most of the blue of the sky, and underneath placed a piece of blue fluorite to take its place. Something in her head clicked. That was what he needed. 

The armband came together completely in her mind’s eye. Beads of varying sizes, spacers, and gold wire like filigree, with the charm in the center. It was doable. And if she ran into trouble she’d already found a couple of youtube videos that might help. She just needed to get the supplies ordered.

“Lunch first.” Remiel was standing next to her with a grin. “You’re so absorbed in your work you didn’t notice me. What you’re envisioning looks good by the way. He’ll like it.”

“Good.” Laying her head back to look up at him, she couldn’t help but marvel at him. Her own grinning god.

“I like ‘radiant, angelic, Remiel’ better.” He was still grinning as he took the laptop and carefully lowered himself on top of her on the couch, kissing her hungrily. “Do you know how good it feels to have you here?”

“Mm, maybe as good as it feels when you kiss me like that?” His weight felt good and right, and his kiss was like getting something back she hadn’t known was missing. The pang of knowing how much better it felt when she could feel him marred it just a bit.

“It’ll come back. I believe that. When you have less need to protect yourself.” He relaxed and as he stopped holding his weight she started to feel crushed.

“Too heavy! Oh my god, what do they feed you?” Genevieve was laughing as she tried to push at him.

“Off, Remi.” The Alpha’s voice was deeply amused. “I’m glad you’re feeling better, Genevieve.” He picked up the laptop and looked at it for a moment. “What’s this?”

“That’s the charm I’m going to put on your bracelet if I can get it. As soon as I saw it it clicked. It wasn’t what I was looking for but it’s the right one.” She started to sit up and stopped looking from the Alpha to Remiel for permission.

“Stay down for now, strict bedrest is what was called for. You can sit up when the food gets here.”

With a sigh, she rolled onto her side and propped her head up on her hand. “The World paired with the blue fluorite couldn’t be more perfect.”

“What does the World mean?” He looked at her curiously. “You said it was the fulfilment of a wish.”

“It’s a lot more than that. Here, I can pull something up for you that will be easier than me trying to explain it myself.” Genevieve took the laptop back and went to one of her favorite sites to look things up when she was confused or stumped. And for good measure she pulled up a page on blue fluorite. “Have a glance at those.”

The Alpha took his time reading, not looking up as plates of lunch were brought. Lamb chops, squash fries, and hot tea for her, and the same with a lot more meat for Alpha Germain and Remiel. Sitting up, she looked to Remiel for cues on etiquette. 

“Eat.” He laid the laptop on the table near his plate. “That’s promising. A little vague, but promising.”

“The World is a big card. The reminder that your wish will be fulfilled, that your sacrifices have been seen and that what’s right will be rewarded may be as comforting to you as the knowledge that these things are cycles and what you’ve been afraid of is an illusion. The Empress is not far.”

“Tell me about that.” His eyes were golden.

“I don’t know much about it. Or about her. Someone you know is going to bring her to you or introduce you somehow. There will be money involved.” Genevieve sat up straight, almost giddy as the feeling washed over her. “She’s a businesswoman. She makes things and sells them and she’s very good at selling them, very good at keeping her books and growing her investments. She’s good with people, but she doesn’t actually like many of them. Trust is hard to earn and easy to lose.”

The Alpha startled her out of the middle distance with a shake. “Where?!”

“I don’t know. I could feel her but I don’t know how to do more than that.”

He looked anguished and let go, getting up to pace before calming himself. “She’s close?”

“Yes. Try to meet people you buy things from. Things that are handmade.” That she liked to work with her hands was very clear but it was investing that was taking up most of her time now.

“What’s going to happen first? Meeting the Page or the Empress?”

“I don’t know.”

“When whatever this is falls on me, will it fall on her?” He studied her face.

“Not as hard. Not as much. But yes.” Genevieve swallowed. “You’ve been strong a long time, and you’re going to have to hold onto that. It’s more than anyone should ever be asked to carry.” He was going to need support, the feeling of heaviness was almost overwhelming.

He rubbed his face and sighed. “She’s close.” Almost reluctantly he sat back down. “Eat. Then I want you to show Rob what you need, he’ll get it ordered.”

“I can do that.” Biting her upper lip for a moment she took off her necklace and pulled the angel off of it before putting it back on. The Alpha was giving her a stern look as she held out the pendant. “Please humor me, Alpha Germain?”

“We bought Brandon out of rainbow fluorite and black obsidian. I can get another one, you don’t give away things you need, is that clear?”

“Yes sir. But you look like you need it more.”

“Take care of yourself first, my thoughtful mate. Then you can try to take care of others.” Remiel rubbed her back.

Taking the necklace off again and putting the angel back on it, she nodded. “If you bring it to me with a smudge stick I’ll make sure it’s clean and ready for you.” Taking care of Alpha Germain seemed like it should be more important, but arguing with Remiel was like trying to push water uphill with a rake and she wasn’t going to start again right now.

“I can do that.” The Alpha’s face broke into a smile. “Two things most people never win with Remi, tug-of-war and arguments.”

Genevieve blinked. “You can listen?”

“I was listening to Remi, and Remi was listening to you.” He gestured for her to eat. “It's admirable to want to take care of your pack and your Alpha, but you have value too, and you need to take care of yourself just as well. That means asking for help and letting others take care of you the way you want to take care of them.”

The thought of it being her pack and her Alpha was strange but it felt nice. Remiel was enough, but to get a family and a place to belong too was almost too good to be true. She tried to chew her mouthful of food so she could express that.

“You’d try so hard to keep us safe and not feel like you belong?” Alpha Germain was smiling.

“Yes, because you’ve been kind to me and because you mean so much to Remiel.” It felt like a debt that couldn’t be repaid. 

“It’s not a debt, it’s a bond. And the more you help your packmates and let them help you the deeper it gets.”

Nodding, she noticed Remiel stealing one of her fries. A glance at his empty plate and she almost started to laugh. “What did you do with your food? Did you even chew it?”

Remiel’s wolfish grin dawned over his face as the Alpha started to laugh. “I eat. Not everyone picks at their food like a bird.”

“Irksome.” She teased him as he leaned in for a kiss. 

“You love me.” He leaned back taking two more of her fries.

“You're lucky I do! Or I might love you with my fork for stealing my fries!”

“Did you just threaten him with a fork?” Ethan came from behind them, leaning over the back of the couch with a grin. “Sounds like the honeymoon’s over.”

“I'm trying to encourage my mate to eat more quickly.” Remiel's words were accompanied by a mock lunge toward her plate.

Pain shot through her side as she laughed and tried to protect her lunch.

“Enough!” The Alpha spoke sharply. “If she were well enough to play she'd be off of bed rest. Clean your plate and lay back down, Genevieve. You two come with me.”

Remiel looked a bit sheepish, “Eat, I didn't mean to…” 

“You're not the only one who forgets I'm not supposed to be moving around. I'll be here when you get back.” She gave him a contented kiss when he leaned in. “And maybe remind Alpha Germain to get one of these and send it by?” Genevieve pulled at the angel on her necklace.

“I will.” He rubbed her head playfully as he stood and walked past.

Finishing her lunch as quickly as she could manage, she lay back down and waited. Staring up at the ceiling, she wondered if she should try to write things down on the computer's notepad to be ready for whenever Rob showed up. A face with nervous hazel eyes, and framed with dirty blonde hair, interrupted her thoughts as it peered over the back of the couch.

“Hey! You wouldn’t be Rob, by any chance?”

“Yeah, um…” 

“I swear, I’m not going to bite you or fall over or whatever it is you’re expecting to make you look so nervous.” She gave him a bright, reassuring smile.

He smiled and nodded coming to sit on the sofa across from her. “You, um…” He turned the laptop toward him. “You need this?” 

“The World charm, yes. And do I still have the tabs open for the wire and spacers? I haven’t ever tried to find my own jewelry supplies before, I usually work with whatever Sage has. I know I need gold. Gold wire in a couple of gauges, spacers, and some tools.”

“What exactly are you making?”

“Here,” carefully coming off of the sofa she came around to sit where she could see the screen. It wasn’t hard to pull up the pictures she’d been looking at. “Something like this with the open part, and you see how they have the thicker gauge to hold the shape?”

“Right. But why gold?”

“You’ll probably laugh at me, which is fine, I’m pretty used to it.” Genevieve gave him a smile and saw him relaxing. “Gold helps with healing and balance. If you want the effect of your stones amplified you would pick copper. If you want something to mirror your soul out to the world, help you be more eloquent, but cool and calm? Silver. But gold is the warmth of the sun, it brings you in touch with things around you, it attracts positive energies. If you need to keep yourself balanced and give yourself that warm healing light, you need gold.”

“You really, um, really believe all that?” He was looking at her curiously.

“I do. Learning about crystals and the properties of the metals you put them in helped me a lot. You think I’m a mess now, you should have seen me before.” She shook her head and he laughed.

“You wear silver?” Rob pointed at her necklace.

“I need the cool calmness. Anything that encourages me to connect with things around me is usually a bad idea. People are…” She took a deep breath. “People are loud enough and intrusive enough without it.”

“I, um, I heard rumors you can hear us like we’re yelling when we’re not saying anything.”

“At the moment I can’t. At the moment it’s almost like I’m wearing earplugs that tune you all out. Which, as loud as you all tend to be, is probably a blessing.” Her wry smile didn’t seem to reassure him.

“So, it’s true?”

“Kind of. It’s not like I’m trying to listen, being around people is like being in a room where everyone is in quiet conversation. It’s a hum of chatter and feelings. The stronger the energy the louder the voice.” Rubbing the back of her neck she tried to explain. “The first time I met Alpha Germain he filled the shop. He has a very strong energy, but he wasn’t deafening. He’s very measured. Remiel was yelling in my ear. The same with Ethan. And the first time I came here I could feel very clearly that while no one had anything personally against me, a lot of the people here didn’t feel I belonged.

“I don’t know if that’s gotten better or worse. I can’t hear you all anymore. It would be nice to know if that’s eased, but if it hasn’t at least I don’t have the equivalent of a megaphone in my ear screaming, ‘We’re not sure about you, don’t get comfortable, you don’t belong’.” 

“Witches are…” he started and then hesitated. 

“I haven’t met many witches and none I liked, I can’t fault you for not wanting them around. The ones I met, I tried to learn a little from them but they don’t really care about hurting people and I can’t-” she looked at her hands, “I can’t deal with that. To the point that I have difficulty defending myself.” Glancing up, she could see the wheels working in his head. 

“But you don’t mind us?” Rob was frowning and looking at her doubtfully.

“Would you hurt someone who couldn’t defend themselves for, I don’t know, twenty bucks? Or if they made you mad or annoyed you would you hurt them just because you could?”

“No!” He blinked at her.

“That’s the difference.” 

“But… then why wouldn’t you defend yourself?”

She laughed softly and put her head in her hands. “I did once. I did try to defend myself and I did a good job of it, he was in the hospital in a coma for a day or so.” It was something she tried not to remember but she wanted to explain. “If you hurt someone they’ll scream, right? Do you remember what I said about people being loud? The screams felt like they were shredding me from the inside.” 

“Oh.” 

The awkward patting on her back made her look up and try to smile. 

“Did he deserve it?”

“Yeah, he did. There were some who would have deserved it more but he definitely did.” She rubbed her temples feeling her head start to ache. “I should probably lay back down. Do you need anything else from me?”

“No, I think I’ve got it.” Nodding, he stood up slowly. “You, um. I think it’s eased. You belong here.”

“Thanks, Rob. I really appreciate that.” The smile she was struggling with got easier.