I am sorry, I am selfish.

This poem/random bunch of words is meant to show how complete and raw pain can overwhelm someone and consume them and I hope that the poem gives this feel. About a child coping with losing a father.

"I am sorry, I am selfish,"

 

Tonight again, I pray for you,

I am a silly child, I lie.

To pray would be a misguided description.

I scream not for you but to have you by my side, not his.

I ask nothing more than a child should from the world,

I ask that every time that my heart is wrenched,

It is not because my mother’s voice cracks at your name.

I am sorry, I am selfish.

 

I apologise for my anguish, my anger, my agony.

I apologise for the tears that stain, like blood, this paper.

I apologise for all that has been done,

For me to deserve these lonely nights of terror.

May I ask, again, what was that?

That which dealt me this darkened hand?

And that which sealed my tormented fate,

Of this fatherless existence?

I am sorry, I am selfish.

 

Need I say that these words I write on this page,

Are being driven into the paper,

With such force and anger,

That the pen snaps and the paper shreds?

As if my head has deceived my hands,

That the more power and convictions put into a phrase,

Will make it loud enough to earn God’s glance?

He has no father, he cannot comprehend.

I am sorry, I am selfish.

 

I am sorry, I am selfish.

Do not listen to me.

I am a child without direction,

I am a child without a father.

This is the last time I can allow myself,

 To fall to my knees and beg.

This is the last time I can allow myself,

To demand your return from the callous embrace of death.

This time I have failed you,

I am sorry, I am selfish.

"forgive me."

Reviews

[1Disawsum]

I love this poem, I can connect with it in some ways, and I know a lot of other people can as well. It got me intrigued and hooked, from the start to the finish. I loved it, keep it up! Great writing!

[Isadora Swift]

Thank you, not any where near your poems standard! This poem was fuelled by my raw feelings on my father's death, which I think the sincerity of and pain comes through well. Thank you!

[1Disawsum]

No need to be humble :) My poems aren't that great on here, compared to millions of others being published! :D Yes, I think you displayed your true emotions well throughout this poem, there was nothing 'fake-sounding' in it. Great work, keep it up!

[A. Amos]

Dark yet mesmerizing...great work my friend looking forward to read more of your work...

[Isadora Swift]

Thank You! Opinions always appreciated!

[A. Amos]

You're most welcome

[Purbleazaleya]

Aww, this is so sad..but so beautiful

[Isadora Swift]

Thanks, its an awful poem but I like the content, if that makes sense?

[Purbleazaleya]

yes, it does. The content is trying to tell he story and the emotions the person is feeling, which is deep and meaningful

[Isadora Swift]

It's like the pain kind of ran away with them