Chapter 3 ~ Lights Out

Chapter 3 ~ Lights Out

A Chapter by Cierra
"

Reality hits Arcubella hard. She questions Anapa and her attempts to figure things out fail. But when she wakes up, she realizes that even the Anubis Aliens have enemies.

"

Chapter 3 ~ Lights Out


A knock came at my door, I shuffled to put my journal away, hiding it from unwanted eyes.


Miss Bell?” One of the servant girls come in with a bucket of supplies for a bath. “It's time for your bath.”


She's a young, pretty girl who was thrown into this nightmare that no one could have prepared her for. With a nod, I walked over to the bathroom which has a large tub, lined with gold. “Call me Arcu, sweety. What's your name?” I tried to create casual conversation with her and make her realize that I'm her friend, not her enemy. “Annie. My name is Annie.” She responded, waiting for me to get ready for the bath as she started the water. “And your age, Miss Annie?” She went silent. Turning to her, she refused to look at me, waving her hand through the water. “Annie?” Walking over, I stepped into the bath, one foot at a time, letting myself sink down into the water.


Why does he favor you, Miss Bell?” Her innocent tone rang through my head, a question that I couldn't answer.


I don't know, Annie.” An elongated sigh was released as I grabbed the soap from the bucket, “Why don't you go relax while I bathe? I don't need help and you look tired.” Without another word, the girl retreated into the other room and sat down on my bed. It annoys me that I had no door for my bathroom. I quite like my privacy when bathing but Anapa insists that I have a maiden handy. He doesn't think I should have to lift a finger.


I took my time with my bath to give Annie time to rest. When it had been long enough and my fingers and toes became pruned, I grabbed the soft robe off the towel rod and wrapped it around myself. Walking into the room, I placed my hand on Annie's shoulder and lightly shook her, “I'm done, darling.” A part of me really wanted to let her stay and even though I knew nothing about this girl, I enjoy her company. It wasn't any fun sitting in a room all day by myself. She stood up slowly, moving past me towards the bathroom to gather up the supplies she had brought with her.


You're closest to him. You could help all of us.”


Her words were chilling. She was right. I am closest to him, but I wasn't quite sure how to help anyone. “How?” My question only made her sigh. “He'll listen to you. Persuade him.” Persuade him? To do, what exactly? Before I was able to voice my question, she had already taken her leave.


That night, I tossed and turned, trying to figure out what she meant. Persuade him to have mercy? Persuade him to spare those who had only stolen another piece of bread? Or was it to persuade him to leave our world? In my struggles, I heard someone coming down the hall to my room. It was Anapa, coming to check on me. He hadn't visited me lately, but a part of me was thankful for that. “You are not asleep?” He walked over to my bed side and sat down, “No. I cannot. I want to know what's going on outside of these walls. I'm going mad in here.” Anapa was displeased with my answer, releasing a loud scoffing huff. “You need not to know.” He growled.


My patience was being tried. I want answers, and I want them now. “You bring me in here as your servant, and then you treat me like I'm your precious doll. Which is it, Anapa?” Clearly, I was no servant if I was allowed to address him by his name. My question only seemed to irritate him.

 

Without another word, Anapa got up and walked back towards the door. “Do not ask stupid questions, human.” He growled and walked out, slamming the door behind him. The confusion is too much for my brain to process, especially when I'm tired. His refusal to answer my 'stupid questions' only gives me more questions. Mother always said I was stubborn and nosy. Was it such a crime to wonder what my fate holds?

 

When I finally managed to fall asleep, I had dreams about the aliens leaving, and finally being reunited with my family. But when I woke, the disappointment anchored in my heart. The sounds of the usual chaos echoed through the walls but when I got up out of bed, I noticed something a bit more unusual. The ground is shaking. There's an echo rumbling down the hall from my room. Opening the door slowly, I see the guards weren't standing outside of my room like they usually do. In fact, there were no guards, anywhere. There were bloody spots on the walls and trailing down the hall. My instinct told me to go back into my room and wait for Anapa, but my curiosity told me to go forward. The second I took that step from my room and into the hallway, freedom hit me. Should I make a run for it?


Anapa...?” So much for running for it; I found myself calling out his name, mostly in fear that an enemy had gotten in. When someone's protected you for so long, whether they were the world's enemy or not, you have that connection. Suddenly, everything just felt so wrong and the atmosphere became uneasy. A wailing sound echoed down the opposite side of the hall - a sound so terrifying that it made me nearly jump from my own skin. The lights on the ship began to flicker before completely going out. The sounds grew louder, coming closer, I tried to run, but I couldn't see. Running into things, tripping, falling, screaming... I felt something grab me from behind, deafening me at the same time with a loud roar. Was it my turn to face my end?


Anapa!!”



© 2014 Cierra


Author's Note

Cierra
Yo... I struggled hard with this chapter. My brain just wasn't in it and I know there's so many problems with my tense use, for sure... x.x; Uhg. I tried to give it a diary like feel but ... not. Yeah, I'm sure I failed with that. Edits are welcome, you guys. PLEASE. Lol

My Review

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Reviews

"A knock came at my door," End this sentence with a period.

"I quite like my privacy" You don't need the word 'quite' in this sentence. It's a filler in this sentence that you don't need. The reader understands that the character likes her privacy.

"I enjoy her company." In this particular paragraph you are using past tense verbs so I would change 'enjoy' to 'enjoyed' to continue with the past tense.

The first time Anapa starts speaking it seems a little unnatural. I would look through that section and try to make it sound a little more natural. Don't be afraid to use contractions when people are speaking. It's natural for us to combine words in speech, so when writing dialogue you still want to incorporate that.

Also, watch your present and past tense verbs. Occasionally there were sections where you used both and it makes it a little confusing for the reader.

This was a very good chapter and I like that you ended it with a cliffhanger! Now your readers will want to know what is going on??! :)

~Stefanie


Posted 10 Years Ago


OK. OK. I read a little of it thus far, buy don't down yourself, keep going. I'm new on here. I just created this account 10 minutes ago. But, I'm Zeke and I am 19 and an upcoming author. Ill be waiting to hear from you.

Posted 10 Years Ago


Enjoying your story, looking forward to reading more.

Posted 10 Years Ago


I love this book so much i hope you continue to write more of this book keep up the great work i can't wait to 6read more well am on my way to read more of this book

Posted 10 Years Ago


I think your being to critical just let it flow don`t push it will come and I think it is great another day in the life of anapa

Posted 10 Years Ago


Yes, it's the tense I am struggling with. You are jumping in and out of present and past. I love the kernel of the idea, you just need to flesh it out.

Posted 10 Years Ago


Cierra

10 Years Ago

Yeeah.. I'm just going through a bunch of stuff. Lol So my mind wasn't all there and while I struggl.. read more
I hope you know I am diligently reading this. More please.

Posted 10 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Cierra

10 Years Ago

This makes me super happy and motivated! Haha, Chapter 4 is on it's way. This one a little more comp.. read more
I like the edits. Subtle changes, but it flows better, is more readable.
Keep it up, and take your time to get chapter 4 just perfect.

: )

Posted 10 Years Ago


Cierra

10 Years Ago

Edits thanks to you! Lol. I will. Chapter 4 might take me a bit! No more than a week though, hopeful.. read more
I love what happened with Annie. This has been my favourite chapter so far. Less exposition and more doingamd personality.

Posted 10 Years Ago


Cierra

10 Years Ago

Thank you!
I can see this wasn't flowing as smoothly for you. Check your mail box for a message, and a little present from me.

Noel

Posted 10 Years Ago



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Added on April 28, 2014
Last Updated on April 28, 2014
Tags: anubis, Gods, fantasy, chapter 3


Author

Cierra
Cierra

Fredericksburg, VA



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