How to Fake Convincingly

      At times, being fake is less messy and convenient than blurting out the truth. I have experienced their miraculous benefits at various instances. They come in handy in sticky situations where you bump into your ex-friends or annoying relatives- the ones who without fail keep a track of your varying complexion, body weight and relationship status and volunteer to comment on them without hesitation each time you are unfortunately thrown into their point of vision.

How do you do it convincingly?

Step one: Make sure the subject has spotted you, if not tactfully slip away or hide behind someone/something.

Step two: If the subject has spotted you (hard luck), slowly approach him/her. Smile convincingly- but do not overdo it. If you are meeting an ex-friend and you are a girl, then you could try screaming and fanning your hands about as if you are suffering from a heat wave or blow fake kisses, but I am personally against them. If you are a guy do not do this, you would just look like a freak.

Step three: Talk before they do, so you get to choose the topic. Focus the conversation on them and make sure it is never steered towards you- even if it does, just smile and kill them in your mind. In case of annoying aunts, you could ask about their children or pets- that would get them going for hours.

Step four: Maintain eye contact and feign absolute interest. Nod occasionally and convincingly. Paraphrase what they say and convert them into questions, so that that they wouldn’t suspect your new-sprung interest in their lives.

Step five: Look down at your watch/cell phone and look up, disappointed- tell them you are late for something and that you will call or text and slowly walk away (Do not run, screaming). Or wait for someone you don’t like to walk by and introduce him/her to the subject-whichever comes first.

Thus, you escape unscratched and un-irritated......until the next time.

 

Reviews

[~]

perfect Annie!! I completely concur with the pathological liar that you have so skillfully and deliciously explained :)
this was really fun to read :)
Step six - offer wine and chocolates so they will not remember what they wanted to say first place ;)

[Isabel25]

Lol! Moon.....but id rather go have them myself after enduring the torture, rather than waste them on such horrible people :p

[Samuel Dickens]

Ha! You've got a great sense of humor, Annie, and so convincing! Could it be that you've actually employed some of these neat tricks? (I'm guessing that you have)

[Isabel25]

Ofcourse i have Samuel :) I always find myself in such stupid situations..sad.. I know :{

[sinNsincerity]

I just tell people to leave me alone. Hahaha
I know what you mean though.
Great write Annie!

[Isabel25]

It always doesnt work David...though I have said during inevitable situations