Sleep-Hunt

Insomnia can drive you crazy at times, if not all the time.

As I gaze at you, cradled in slumber,

Startling yourself with your own snores,

I count the years of transient stupors,

That have crossed in scores.

 

I can't help but wonder, the colour of your dreams;

Are they bursting with yellow, green and aquamarine?

Or tinged with black and blue like mine?

 

I want to peek under, the blanket of your thoughts;

Are they tranquil and tender, silken like wine?

Or unhinged and untamed like mine?

 

As I gaze on at you, I ponder,

Upon the only slumber, to me, will surrender,

 And the casket it would accompany,

 Six feet under!

 

Reviews

[Coyote Poetry]

You are a amazing writer. Each poem a journey into place and thoughts.
"I want to peek under, the blanket of your thoughts;
Are they tranquil and tender, silken like wine?
Or unhinged and untamed like mine?"
Would be nice to know the dreams of another. It is sad we allow so few people in. Thank you for sharing the excellent poetry.
Coyote

[Stonz P.]

As a certified Nocturnalist, I am very much amused by this...

"startling yourself with your own snores" HAHAHA.. I could tell you stories about this line.. one of my friends wakes up EVERY NIGHT in his sleep because of his snores.. he sits up...falls asleep while sitting... snores while sitting for a few minutes... falls down again :P

Only thing which seemed technically incorrect was usage of 'dreams'.. an insomniac suffers from hallucinations but I guess that can be overlooked.. I feel it should be..
Good write.

[Isabel25]

Isn't it not possible to dream at all when they slip into some sort of a sleep, as rarely as they do? Just a thought :)

Oh wow..that friend must crack you up all the time :D I was imagining that scene.
Thank you :)

[Stonz P.]

That is why. Sometimes insomniacs do fall asleep. I have an on-off relationship with sleeplessness and I do not sleep more than 3-4 hours normally..I approve of your poem. Sometimes, it really is like you are 'six feet under' :/ could totally relate to that.

And yeah, I'm gonna show him this.. He's so not going to like this :D
You are welcome.

[Isabel25]

Same here..I find it extremely difficult to sleep. Thank you for that note of approval :)
read moreSame here..I find it extremely difficult to sleep. Thank you for that note of approval :)

Hahaha.. please do :)

[Stonz P.]

You are welcome.

[TheLostMind]

I loved the delicate wordplay in this one.. Couldn't pick a favorite stanza... They are all excellent.. I loved the way certain lines are structured -
"I can't help but wonder, the colour of your dreams;"
"I want to peek under, the blanket of your thoughts;"

A really good write :)

[Isabel25]

EEeeee....Thank you :) I wrote this looking at my friend peacefully snoring away. Some people are blessed to be able to sleep like that.

[TheLostMind]

Right.. A friend of mine goes to sleep the moment he hops on the bed.. I envy such people :)