Haunting thoughts.

About a reoccurring nightmare I've been having for the past week.

It was the week of our wedding, and I couldn't be more ecstatic. 

The 4 year build up to this moment has all been worth it. People doubted that we would last, but they were wrong. We proved that sometimes, you can find true love in high school. 

We met at the end of my freshman year, and everything was perfect. She was 2 years my elder, but that was no issue. Most of the time, we were completely oblivious to the age gap. We were so in love that it just didn't matter. She always looked at me with so much love in her eyes... She looked at me as if I were a perfect person, one free of wrongdoing. In her eyes, I was untainted. The way the sun shines off of her beautiful dark brown hair still makes me melt to this day. She walks with a grace that is unmatched, everything she does is beautiful. In my eyes, she is perfect... The best I will ever have. The last I will ever have.

Our love continued stronger than ever, as our feelings for each other continued growing without showing any signs of stopping. On June 1st, 2018, I asked her to marry me at the Bay front park where we shared our first kiss together, and she accepted without missing a beat. It was the perfect moment. The wind blowing off of the bay was cool against the hot, setting sun. The air smelt of spring, and the unmistakable feeling of love was everywhere. It was just like the first time we kissed, but even better. This time, we were sealing our fates. We decided on a one year engagement, and immediately started planning our wedding for June 1st, 2019.

Fast forward to the night before our wedding.

I'm coming home to my fiance for the last time as a bachelor. I'm so excited I can hardly stand it, I practically danced myself home. I'm feeling the butterflies in my stomach the night before, everything has to be perfect. I know it will be perfect.

As I pull into our driveway I realize that the living room lights are off, which is weird. She is normally reading in the living room at this time, she would need the light on. Then I thought about the fact that she's been acting strange the last couple weeks anyway, so maybe she's just nervous about the wedding. I brush my thought to the side as I push my keys into my pocket and make my way to the front door of our small house. As I twist the knob and try to push, I realize something else that is weird... the door is dead bolted. Why does she need to lock up so tight?

I pull out my keys again, and unlock the deadbolt. 

As I push the door open, I notice something weird. There is a foreign pair of sneakers and a sweater I've never seen before on the floor near the coat rack. They appear to belong to a male, so I presume that there is an intruder in our house. I go out to my car and grab my pistol, just in case he is armed. If it's just your run of the mill robber, then once he sees that I have a gun, he will surely run for his pathetic life. If only it were a robber. If only. 

It turned out to be someone much, much worse.

I notice strange noises coming from the bedroom, so I figure that the b*****d is holding my wife hostage. The door is open, and from the hallway, I can see the shadows of a struggle. Just in case he has a gun to her head, I decided to quietly sneak to the doorway and listen. What I soon figured out is that this was for sure not a hostage situation. I figured out that my fiance was having sex with another man. Not just another man, I recognized him as one of her ex-boyfriends. I decide to temporarily bite my tongue and listen for a bit, see what happens.

I could hear the woman that "loves" me telling the other man how great he feels inside her, how much better he is in bed, how sexy he is. I am becoming more horrified and furious as it goes on. Soon enough, I can't take it anymore, and burst into the room, gun behind my back.

"Baby!" She cried, "It's not what it looks like! I swear!"

Her lies anger me even more. "Then what the f*ck is it? Don't f*cking call me baby, you lying b*tch!"

She throws a blanket over their naked bodies, tears pouring out from her eyes. "I'm sorry! Please forgive me! I just--"

"You just what? Decided to f*ck this little punk a** b*tch in our bed? Our bed! How could you? How the f**k could you?"

"Baby! I just... I just... I love you!"

I advance toward her, my face red with anger as I feel myself become filled with absolute, raw rage. "You were supposed to f*cking love me! You were supposed to, but you f*cking lied to me! You b*tch! How could you do this to me?! How could you do this to us?! Answer me, b*tch!"

I notice that her little boyfriend has pulled on his boxers and is walking toward me. "Hey man, don't talk to her like--"

I grab his throat with my right hand and pull out my pistol with my left.

"You did this to me, you little b*tch! I will f*cking kill you! I will F*cking murder you! Die b*tch! F*ck you! Yeah, burn in hell mother f*cker!" 

I throw him to the ground by his throat and put three 45 caliber rounds through his head.

My fiance, looking horrified by me, lets out a shriek and runs to the corpse of her secret lover. She tried to shake him awake for a second, then goes to her knees to beg and plead for my mercy.

"I should've known you'd do this to me, sooner or later. Everybody leaves me. Any compassion anyone ever shows to me goes away. I shouldn't have created the delusion of happiness in my mind."

"Baby please! We can still be happy! We can still get marr--"

"No we can't! Don't f*cking lie to me, you little f*cking b*tch! You did this to me! You did this to me! Now look at me, b*tch!"

She looks away, "I can't baby, I can't face you."

I grab her face and force her face toward me, "I said look at me b*tch!"

I put my pistol against my head, and lay my finger on the trigger, ready to pull.

"Baby no! Don't do this! No! I love you!"

"No you don't," I say, feeling nothing but the deepest disappointment in my one true love, "I believed in you, baby. I really did. I love you with all I've got, and what I got in return was this. So no, you don't love me, but I love you. That's why I can't go on anymore. This is the last straw. I love you baby, I will never forget you."

I pull the trigger, and the last thing I see before darkness is the horror on her face.

Author's Note

It may seem fairly insane, but I swear, it's just a really messed up nightmare I've been having. I would never consider actually doing any of these actions in real life. That being said, feel free to leave constructive criticism.