Living Zombie

The day consists
Of aimless wandering
Endless hours
And countless questions

I observe all
With sunken eyes
I speak from lifeless
Color drained lips

Each step is a struggle
My feet are gravity bound
My stone heart is heavily
Weighing down my eyelids

All I want to do
Is sleep everyday
I won’t have to think
There’ll be nothing to deal with

The emptiness of my soul
Will no longer be felt
But even rest is not mine
Nightmares have kept me away

My violent subconscious
Has revealed my fears
I’m afraid of commitment
I can’t let myself care too much

I need to avoid causing pain
I can’t stand receiving it
I won’t get too close
It always goes wrong

These saddening images
Will leave me no peace
I won’t blame the world
It’s mostly my fault

I push people away
Won’t let them near
I thought I had no love
It was just hidden deep

Ironically I found it
That fact makes me sadder still
I don’t know how
To change about my ways

I’m too fucked up
To turn things around
My internal fights
Will never cease fire

My sanity is not replaceable
I try to accept my craziness
But I’m tired enough
To be the walking dead

Consciousness eludes my grasp
At random moments all day
Unexpected mental drains
Take moments from my life

Even when I’m actually here
Mind drifts away from body
Even in a crowded room
I am unbelievably alone

In any place I go
I don’t feel I belong
Not wanting rejection
I won’t put myself out there

I’ve drawn into me
And I scare myself
I just want to sleep forever
It’s the only escape.

Reviews

[Brandon Taylor-Black]

Sleep Eternal, amongst the creatures of the damned...
This is a powerful write. It's deep, and emotive.
A well thought out and creative piece, to which the reader can do nothing, but hope given time, you feel better.
Bravo!