I had to Google this to find that "Bite me" is your equivalent of our "Get lost". Taken literally, as in your denouement, I feel that our version could be a little less painful. Having got that off my chest , I can now get my teeth into another poem😂.
Posted 7 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
7 Years Ago
If you have never had anyone say this to you, you are ahead of the game! :)
I enjoyed this sassy piece full of attitude & rhymes. I'm not 100% sold on the repetition of the title quite so many times. Maybe there's some way to add a little variety to that instead!?!?! Like "don't fight me" & other such lines, here & there, to break up this monotonous litany that wears out your clever concept a little bit. All in all, good way to make fun of an idiom that can be over-used *smile* Fondly, Margie
Posted 7 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
7 Years Ago
The repetition is meant to be irritating, Margie. The idea was to make this poem as annoying to the .. read moreThe repetition is meant to be irritating, Margie. The idea was to make this poem as annoying to the people who use the expression as their constant use of it is to other people! And, of course, to give others tired of the expression a smile. :)
I had to Google this to find that "Bite me" is your equivalent of our "Get lost". Taken literally, as in your denouement, I feel that our version could be a little less painful. Having got that off my chest , I can now get my teeth into another poem😂.
Posted 7 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
7 Years Ago
If you have never had anyone say this to you, you are ahead of the game! :)
So what would be today's first choice, Chris? The usual F... variations as noun, verb, adverb and ad.. read moreSo what would be today's first choice, Chris? The usual F... variations as noun, verb, adverb and adjective? :)
7 Years Ago
"Bite Me" was a person laughing off another's behavior... "F... You" is an angry, violent, and speci.. read more"Bite Me" was a person laughing off another's behavior... "F... You" is an angry, violent, and specifically threatening behavior. Eventually a physical confrontation will occur ...with injury or death as the result.
The wordplay was actually really f*****g dope, haha... This surprised me with how good it turned out... Wannabee gangbanger? Just unfocused anger.... Brilliant as hell... Dopely penned...
Posted 7 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
7 Years Ago
Thanks Silente. Glad you liked it; even gladder that it made you laugh.
It's that old long conversation thing. All gone.
People don't even say, i'll see you later. It's just, later. Though i must admit. I would be tempted to bite someone who said, bite me.
Aspiring new writer. I enjoy writing stories, poems and song lyrics. In fact most of my poems are song lyrics! All constructive input is welcome. If you think something sucks, tell me so. I won't be o.. more..