Caught

Caught

A Poem by Winter
"

just part of how I felt somedays

"
I can't stay here
I have no where to go
I can't deal with too many people 
I can't stand being alone
I love my friends with entirety 
I should let them be without me
I can't live like this
This change is impossible
Caught fighting this battle 
One on one, With myself
One day I will win
and we will loose
For this war has no survivors
as it heats up
the end draws nearer
goodbye

© 2010 Winter


Author's Note

Winter
Really terrible but I don't even care anymore, sorry

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Reviews

I agree with Toxic.Kiss, completely!
This really is an amazing piece of writing. You underestimate yourself if you think this is "really terrible" -- it's the complete opposite! Really, its really amazing!

I love the conflict in the first few lines and how it shows how the mind argues with itself, in a sense. And the few ending lines really bring the piece together. Like a tree! The top lines are the branches, which draw in an observer and get them really hooked on looking at the tree. Then they lead down to the trunk, which solidifies and finalizes the tree.

That was probably a really weird metaphor, but I'm tired and it sounded cool in my head. :P

Anyway!
I can't really suggest any improvements here because I think this is pretty damn perfect. :] The only thing I would suggest is to add periods to the end of the top sentences. It adds a little more of a BANG to the lines and makes them seem even more...impacting. :D

Amazing piece, yet again!

Posted 14 Years Ago


This is amazing. I felt. I related. I connected. There are few poems that make me feel those. amazing.

Posted 14 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


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2 Reviews
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Added on May 20, 2010
Last Updated on May 20, 2010

Author

Winter
Winter

NM



About
I really like writing ... just stuff, I sometimes write stories, I've recently started writing poems, I also like writing new things, and trying new ideas for writing ... or at least I think I do, lat.. more..

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