Chapter 1 of The Thunder Gauntlet

“The world is full of suffering. Murder, robbery and torture. War is a catalyst for all of this. To say you “won the war” is like saying you shot a man but you also shot yourself.

Greed is what drives war. Now some wars are for just causes, like how in World War 2 Americans, the French, The British and many others fought to stop the Holocaust. Now class have you ever heard of another ‘just war’?”

The class stayed silent.

“You see even the war against Hitler wasn’t just. After the war all Germans were left homeless, poor and helpless to the forces of nature. During the war many died. Well...millions died, from soldiers to the innocent no one won.”

I raised my hand. “Yes Cian,”

“Sir the Holocaust killed millions so isn’t it right to let thousands more die just to stop it and also the soldiers were willing to put their life on the line,”

Smiling the teacher answered back 

“You see that is a valid argument but I believe that solving a problem by force and manpower don’t help all that much,”

“Sir so if the holocaust happened now would you agree that letting them die is better than not stopping them at all?”

The teacher stayed silent for a moment and looked out the window, seeing the lush woods outside. “Well only if the soldiers are willing sadly most of them weren’t during World War 2,” His tone was sombre for the lost, unwilling souls of all wars of all kinds.

Suddenly the bell rang. “Class do a report on World War 2. I expect a full page,” everyone groaned, a full page? Is he torturing us? Grudgingly I lifted the backbreaking bag. Well at least school’s over. Outside the class room there was a blur of students all clawing to leave.

I got carried away on the train of students. The eventual pushing and shoving began, I smiled. Everything was normal, I wouldn’t change a thing. When I got outside the mob disappeared as fast as it came.

Looking back I saw that almost everyone was gone. Now is my time. I dashed into the woods without anyone taking a glance.

The woods were like my home. I would explore every day just to find new things. 

Like one time I found a cool bow and arrow just one arrow though. It was quite extraordinary because beautiful marking were etched into it. Who would leave something so priceless in some woods?

Seeing the endless wilderness I slipped off my bag and a satisfying thump freed my shoulders.

Dashing through the grass and trees wind whipped up my combed hair. I jumped, taking in the glorious air, but suddenly my ankle twisted from the landing and I fell face first into a tree. Liquid trickled down my nose. I gasped at my ruined pants as well as the gash on my knee.

I could barely see and my leg was cut. Sadly I can’t stay here. I lifted myself up, wincing at the effort, and walked painfully back to my bag. My mom would always put medical things in it but I really don’t need it...Damn she was right.

I waddled back to my bag when I noticed that there was a tree but a hole was in the middle of it. This was exactly like the time I found that bow and arrow. Cautiously I walked over and slipped my hand down

My fingers touched metal, very very cold metal. I felt around it until I got a grip on it. Once I got it in both hands I realized, this was a...gauntlet. Something you’d see in medieval times, worn by a righteous knight. I couldn’t pass the opportunity to wear it.

Without thinking I put it on. It fit perfectly. I could move my fingers without consequence. My hand was wrapped in the felt inside. It was warm but not roasting. I would’ve had found it strange that there’s a metal glove out in the woods that fitted me like my shoes but I don’t really care that much.

I was in awe of my new find I forgot about my injuries. Walking back I pulled- wait why won’t it come off? I started to panic. Why would you make a piece of armour that you couldn’t take off? I felt claustrophobic, my hand will be trapped for the rest of my life, and I won’t be able to do normal things anymore, why? Get it off NOW!

A flash of orange heat blasted out of the iron glove. The blast hit a tree and it collapsed onto itself. I had a tingling feeling on my finger tips. Shocked I looked down to see sparks flying out of my metal fingers. I stared at it like I just killed a person.

A horrible stench came to me. It was the blackened tree that toppled over. I didn’t say a word. I flopped down onto the grass and gazed at my now gone hand. Now that I’m looking at it, its fingers were like claws. They curved in. Just imagine the damage you could do with this.

“What is this thing?” I asked to no one
“That sir is the Thunder Gauntlet,”

I spun around to see a tall slender man in white and gold pointing at my left hand that was now stuck to the “Thunder Gauntlet”. The clothes he was wearing were like robes. The gold was in two stripes that went down to his knees. The white robes looked like something a priest would wear.

His hands were politely behind his back. “You must be confused but we to leave,” his sneer was like a snake’s.

I took a shaky step back when a woman spoke “You leave this boy alone Dues,” Her voice was filtered through telegram but no doubt that she was livid. A million things bounced in my head but I only had a second before a metal hand touched my shoulder

I was sweating like a pig. “Boy who do you trust?” 

“Well...I want to leave,” It felt like I made a mistake. Slowly I glanced over my shoulder expecting something.

There sood a metal robot. Gears were visable and it looked of rust. It's two yellow eyes were torches.

The man smiled a vicious one and said “Well then if you don’t want to give him up then,” the man gave a slow chuckle “then die,” Before I had a chance to react six beams of light came out of the man’s back, three at either side. They were like tentacles but yellow.

What the hell is going on? The gauntlet sparked a few times. One of the beams of light stretched forward and gently but quickly separated me and the molten warrior. 

Then the three tentacles launched themselves into the robot.

It was flung away like a toy. The man in gold didn’t move an inch since and his smile turned from harmless to psychopath. “You BOY I’ll gut you if you move,” he whispered but his words trembled in anger.

I didn’t dare move or even look at what happened to the poor warrior. Shaking in fear, I thought about what was going to happen. Will he kill me? Take me as prisoner? I was about to say something when the man called “Deus” knocked me out cold.

                              ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

My eyes fluttered open. I was greeted to a blinding light. My body seemed to float in the sky with the clouds. I wanted to sleep here forever. I sighed. School again? 

Uggh... Lifting my head up gently I felt something prick me, the Thunder Gauntlet.

I’ve never gotten so cosy to rage but I also groaned at the possibility of waking up. I was lying on it all night. 

My face must be covered in red marks. I sighed and whipped off the covers and the air hit me with its coldness. Then it hit me. Where was I? The last thing I remember was being punched by that man.

I have to leave as soon as possible. Who knows what he would do to me. I stood up and stayed there for a few seconds, taking in my surroundings. The Thunder Gauntlet weighed nothing. At this point nothing could surprise me.

There are some clothes on the chair, they seem to fit me. Once I put them on they looked and felt perfect. I stared at my reflection. I wore a black hood with pockets that could hide my metal hand. I sighed at myself, I look so normal but maybe I can be normal again. I could only imagine my parents freaking out, looking for me.

Stop thinking about that, how bad can it be? Creaaaaaak...my ears perk up as well as the hairs on the back of my neck. My left hand, the one with the gauntlet, came out of my pocket. I froze when an old man came in.

There seemed to be millions of wrinkles on his face. He wore gold and white robes, the same as the man who punched me in the face. The old man didn’t look threatening at all but still I remember how the other man had yellow tentacles of light.

“You must be very confused. Let me explain,” the old man wheezed. “Firstly my name is Excalibur,” he held out a hand, I shook it lightly. Excalibur, what kind of name is that? A fantasy one, well that would make sense.

Excalibur led me out of the bed and into a hallway. The architecture was magnificent. On the right it was a pale white wall, that colour seemed to be everywhere. But on the left were arches that let light in. It looked like something from the Victorian Era.

I could see outside and ...wow. This city seemed to be on a massive hill, each house was the same pure white tinge but other than that each one was incredible different. Everything from churches to something no ordinary person could imagine.

I was completely awe struck. The old man smiled, he probably saw many others dazzled by every house. “So what is this place?” I asked

“This Empire is called Marble,” that was a fitting name for a place so white
“Right so is there like magic and stuff or...?”
“Yes magic is real. People use incredible tomes full of every spell we know yet people mostly use technology to fight because useing tomes takes time to read the words,”

“But can’t they just memorize it?”
“Some people do. But then they have to dedicate their lives to it becasue the ‘words’ are symbols. The symbols are only used once ever. So if you want to memorize ten pages of different symbols then be my guest,”

Oh you must also be wondering about the Thunder Gauntlet, it was made millions of years ago and I mean millions. Magicians made many artefacts including the one on your arm. We have the other one, the other Gauntlet I mean,”

I got a headache. I pinched my nose, trying my hardest to comprehend everything. But I latched onto one thing. Why kidnap me?

“Why would you take me away?” Excailibur was taken by surprise, looking at his face
“I’m so sorry,” he was so sad for me if only I felt the same 

“I’m sorry but we have to teach you how to use it. We can’t get you back to your family because frankly you’ll all die in a matter of minutes. Also we have to use you as a weapon because someone like you has so much potential,” the old man’s eyes were...sad, depressed even.

“Then let me protect them since I have the Thunder Gauntlet don’t I?”
“You’re too young. For...for all of this,” the man barely whispered. I could hear from his voice that his life wasn’t a happy one.

My mind was scrambled. How in the world am going to leave and go back home? Excalibur opened the door and inside was a room full of training dummies and a small platform that’s raised slightly.

“Here you will learn to use the Thunder Gauntlet to its full potential,”
“Why?”
“I think I’ve told you enough for today,”
“Just tell me,” I didn’t bother hiding my frustration.

Instead of answering back he pushed me in to the room. Suddenly the door slammed closed. A series of locks clicked and clanked. I turned around to see no one. I was locked in the training room.

Author's Note

Hello! I have no idea what I'm doing to please tell me anything I can improve on. but I have one question, is this too confusing? And would you think to read the next chapter straight away? Any way I hope that you leave a repile bad or really bad.

Ver. 1.1 13/7/2017
Right I edited the chapter a bit. I don't think I got rid of all the grammer issues though. In the first version I had the Ord (and orb that can resurrect people) but now I have the Dial Aegis a peice of the Armour (that also resurrects people). I made this small change because it didn't feel right having a seprate magical item in the world so I just changed it a bit

Reviews

[Shannon]

Hello.

This story has some nice things going for it.

Since it seems you would like ideas for improvement here are some thoughts :
This is past tense, but you break it (so many of us do) :
Sadly I can’t stay here.
I don’t really care that much.
I have to leave as soon as possible
There are some clothes on the chair, they seem to fit me
, I look so normal but maybe I can be normal again

These sentences get a little choppy or awkward:
Wow Cian you know more about World War whatever than how much you suck!
The clothes he was wearing were like robes. The gold was in two stripes that went down to his knees. The white robes looked like something a priest would wear.
“You must be confused but we to leave,”
was lying on it all night. My face must be covered in red marks. I sighed and whipped off the covers and the air hit me with its coldness. Then it hit me.

“The only way is to cut off your arm,” My blood boiled. So because I wore a metal glove I was kidnapped and now I can’t even take it off!?

I like the concept and the things the characters is thinking make sense. You have shown much, which is a positive, without getting weighed down in description.

Nice opening.

[Irish SOaP]

Hi Shannon! Thank you very much for the feedback. I'll try to fix the problems as fast as I can. I also thank you for being like my personal editor. I really don't know how to answer back to a review (especially a great one) except saying thank you becasue that's all that needs to be said.

[Orion]

I really enjoyed this chapter. Your main character thinks and reacts pretty rationally, his personality fits the underdog and explorer achetypes really well. The classroom scene in the beginning is very interesting too, the talk him and his teacher had about war is pretty interesting. Foreshadowing on a future war the main character will participate in, perhaps? hehe. Nice if that is the case.I got some major Shazam vibes, that's good, cause the shazam origin story is awsome. I don't know if you have read it, but I strongly recommend it for you. Exacalibur's personality and outfit reminds me alot of the wizard in Shazam. But the main characters has many differences if you compare him to Billy(Shazam). Others already have adressed the orthographic mistakes, but it's prett solid. My chapter 01 of Vorago had a lot more. I'm interested to see what happens next, I'm a sucker for training scenes. I'll try to read some more tomorrow.

[Irish SOaP]

Thank you very much Orion. I've never read Shazam before so I might get it someday soon. And yes the first scene is just setting up the morals and complications of war. And then the main character is going to have to deal with those morals.

I think it's kind of crazy that I themed my first chapter like in Shazam even though I know nothing about it. Well thank you very much on reading my first chapter!

[Luke Steed]

You could improve on your grammar. I found it hard to read in a lot of instances.