Ask me

Thoughts brought together by a spark.

I stared at him for a long while, not saying a word. For how could I reply to a question when I didn't even know the answer myself. 

Have you even be told something or asked something and you just didn't know how to reply, so you say nothing at all? Looking into that pain stricken face begging you for an answer you don't have, and it's just too hard so you walk away. At that moment, you can feel like a monster for just leaving them to suffer there. And you wonder why you couldn't just say you didn't know, or tell them you were sorry. Maybe it's because you just couldn't bring yourself to say those empty words once more knowing you can't possibly mean them enough. Knowing that no matter what pattern of words or cliche you say won't matter. Won't fix the pain, won't free their tortured souls, won't settle their hopeless eyes. How can you look into someone's eyes and tell them you don't know why? You don't know how you can bare to tell them an empty apology. You just hope that they can understand that you're just as lost as they are in this world. That you're sick of always saying what people want to hear. Sick of pretending you understand someone when you both know you don't. 

So I looked at him. His begging eyes, softly pleading me to speak those empty words of nothingness. Hoping that this time those words will actually mean something. And I can't bare to let him down, let him know that my words will fall flat to his ears, starving for a a sound to come that will ease this agony. So I turn and walk away. Slowly, each step seeming to barley move me, I hear his half-crazy pleas for me to turn back. To answer the question that I knew no one would have an answer to. Just more empty words that would only make him more desperate. What could anyone say now to such a question? 

Author's Note

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